That's understandable, yes. I was inconsolable, and for weeks it was literally all I could think about. I wasn't prepared for the guilt, or for my mind going over every minute detail obsessively, trying to identify that ONE thing I might have missed that would have made a difference (even though logically I knew there was nothing). The only thing that helped me was adopting a new kitten, and even then it took a while. It does get better, though. But it's a really awful time - we get so very attached to them. :)