Okay, Blue Apron, you are on notice

[thistlechaser]

Chicken, Baby Artichoke & Spinach Casserole with Gouda Béchamel

Recipe.
Time took: One hour and 40 minutes (Blue Apron claims all recipes take 30 minutes)
New foods: Gouda cheese, artichoke

This recipe pissed me off. Oh, it looks somewhat reasonable on paper, but it's not. While waiting for water to boil (what, under 10 minutes?), you have to:

Wash and dry produce (two items)
Chop the spinach (big bunch)
Peel and mince the garlic
Grate the cheese
Pick the parsley leaves off the stems, chop the leaves
Peel and small dice the onion
Cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces
Process the artichoke (trim leaves, peel outer leaves, cut off the outer skin of the stems, cut in half lengthwise, add to a bowl of cold water along with the white wine vinegar)

Maybe a pro could do all that, but I couldn't do that in ten minutes and end up with all my fingers. I swear, the recipe was impossible without either a helper or having measured EVERYTHING out before you start. How can you stir constantly AND measure out a cup of milk? How can you read ahead and see what you need when you're constantly doing two or three things at once? Or catching up on the chopping that you were supposed to do in step one but ran out of time for?

And worst of all? It didn't even taste good. I picked some of the chicken and a couple noodles out (and tried the artichoke, though it was only a small bite and I was too annoyed to really think about it), but the rest I'm throwing. After cooking it for an hour and 40 minutes. I swear, Blue Apron recipe creators are obsessed with onions. There are always WAY too many in the dish.

I could have made a frozen dinner in the microwave, a couple of minutes and NO effort from me, and it would have not only tasted better, it likely would have had fewer calories, too.

I think next week is going to be my last week of Blue Apron. It's not even that the cooking takes so much longer than they say, it's not that I only like one or two meals out of the three per week, but it effects my life too much: I have to keep thinking about this and planning my life around it. "Nope, can't have that for lunch, I have to have something little because I'm cooking tonight." There's an annoying amount of pressure behind HAVING to cook three meals a week. If I liked the meals, if I even once wanted to eat the leftovers from it, that would be a different story.

This was a good idea, but I guess it's just not a fit for me.

Note to self: Can't cancel through their site, have to email them (cancellations@blueapron.com). Nice...
Edit: Sent the email. No idea if it's in time to cancel next week's or not.

Comments

[loup_noir]

Step away from the weekly/daily/monthly clubs. Keep going. Are you so far away you no longer see the boxes? Good.

Now, we're going to start from scratch. You need to sit down with yourself and ask yourself some basic questions.

1) What meals do you WANT to cook for yourself? This is really quite an important question. Do you want a hot breakfast? Do you want to make something you can take into work for lunch? Do you want to make yourself dinner?

Cooking takes time and work. If you don't enjoy the end product or the process, learning how to cook isn't going to make you happy.

So, let's pretend you want to cook.

2) what sorts of food to you tend to buy when you're in a restaurant?

3) While you're eating, can you figure out what goes into these dishes?

If no, can you identify the major components and remember the name of the dish?

If yes, is there anything you'd change? Too much salt? Cheese is weird? It needs more whatever?

4) Would you be willing to try to make a couple of dishes you really enjoyed?

I'm going to assume yes is the answer here.

After searching on either the main components or finding a recipe that works, are you willing to go through all the steps to make it? This is important, as cooking always seems to require more fiddling than expected.

If you are, then first take a careful look at the portions your recipe makes. I am terrible at this step, and I almost always launch into a new recipe without figuring out how many people this is supposed to feed and have TONS of extra food. Try to make enough for one meal, even if you have to put lots of things back into the fridge. Do not expect it to be quick. Cooking is all about processes. Put on some music or an audiobook or a familiar movie to entertain your brain while you do all the prep.

Did you like what you cooked? If not, then why? Be picky. Recipes should be viewed as guidelines, not rules. If you don't like capers but you do like the taste of lemons, then take the capers out and squeeze some lemon juice. If you don't like chicken thighs but do like breasts, then use the breasts. Or, if you can't stand waiting for an hour for the meat to cook, go ahead and get a cooked chicken from the deli.

My sweetheart loves to cook. I love to eat. This works out just fine until he's gone off to something and I'm on my own. Then, it's peanut butter on a cracker or a salad. Salads, btw, are really just a dumping ground for everything you like onto lettuce.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a much better idea. If I could make one dish (and then two, and then three) that I like, that would be a better start than this.

The mention about portion size is especially important, especially while I'm trying to figure it all out.

The boxes did teach me one thing: I might like chili. I think that's going to be the first thing I work on.

Thanks so much! :)