Okay, Blue Apron, you are on notice

[thistlechaser]

Chicken, Baby Artichoke & Spinach Casserole with Gouda Béchamel

Recipe.
Time took: One hour and 40 minutes (Blue Apron claims all recipes take 30 minutes)
New foods: Gouda cheese, artichoke

This recipe pissed me off. Oh, it looks somewhat reasonable on paper, but it's not. While waiting for water to boil (what, under 10 minutes?), you have to:

Wash and dry produce (two items)
Chop the spinach (big bunch)
Peel and mince the garlic
Grate the cheese
Pick the parsley leaves off the stems, chop the leaves
Peel and small dice the onion
Cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces
Process the artichoke (trim leaves, peel outer leaves, cut off the outer skin of the stems, cut in half lengthwise, add to a bowl of cold water along with the white wine vinegar)

Maybe a pro could do all that, but I couldn't do that in ten minutes and end up with all my fingers. I swear, the recipe was impossible without either a helper or having measured EVERYTHING out before you start. How can you stir constantly AND measure out a cup of milk? How can you read ahead and see what you need when you're constantly doing two or three things at once? Or catching up on the chopping that you were supposed to do in step one but ran out of time for?

And worst of all? It didn't even taste good. I picked some of the chicken and a couple noodles out (and tried the artichoke, though it was only a small bite and I was too annoyed to really think about it), but the rest I'm throwing. After cooking it for an hour and 40 minutes. I swear, Blue Apron recipe creators are obsessed with onions. There are always WAY too many in the dish.

I could have made a frozen dinner in the microwave, a couple of minutes and NO effort from me, and it would have not only tasted better, it likely would have had fewer calories, too.

I think next week is going to be my last week of Blue Apron. It's not even that the cooking takes so much longer than they say, it's not that I only like one or two meals out of the three per week, but it effects my life too much: I have to keep thinking about this and planning my life around it. "Nope, can't have that for lunch, I have to have something little because I'm cooking tonight." There's an annoying amount of pressure behind HAVING to cook three meals a week. If I liked the meals, if I even once wanted to eat the leftovers from it, that would be a different story.

This was a good idea, but I guess it's just not a fit for me.

Note to self: Can't cancel through their site, have to email them (cancellations@blueapron.com). Nice...
Edit: Sent the email. No idea if it's in time to cancel next week's or not.

Comments

[loup_noir]

Step away from the weekly/daily/monthly clubs. Keep going. Are you so far away you no longer see the boxes? Good.

Now, we're going to start from scratch. You need to sit down with yourself and ask yourself some basic questions.

1) What meals do you WANT to cook for yourself? This is really quite an important question. Do you want a hot breakfast? Do you want to make something you can take into work for lunch? Do you want to make yourself dinner?

Cooking takes time and work. If you don't enjoy the end product or the process, learning how to cook isn't going to make you happy.

So, let's pretend you want to cook.

2) what sorts of food to you tend to buy when you're in a restaurant?

3) While you're eating, can you figure out what goes into these dishes?

If no, can you identify the major components and remember the name of the dish?

If yes, is there anything you'd change? Too much salt? Cheese is weird? It needs more whatever?

4) Would you be willing to try to make a couple of dishes you really enjoyed?

I'm going to assume yes is the answer here.

After searching on either the main components or finding a recipe that works, are you willing to go through all the steps to make it? This is important, as cooking always seems to require more fiddling than expected.

If you are, then first take a careful look at the portions your recipe makes. I am terrible at this step, and I almost always launch into a new recipe without figuring out how many people this is supposed to feed and have TONS of extra food. Try to make enough for one meal, even if you have to put lots of things back into the fridge. Do not expect it to be quick. Cooking is all about processes. Put on some music or an audiobook or a familiar movie to entertain your brain while you do all the prep.

Did you like what you cooked? If not, then why? Be picky. Recipes should be viewed as guidelines, not rules. If you don't like capers but you do like the taste of lemons, then take the capers out and squeeze some lemon juice. If you don't like chicken thighs but do like breasts, then use the breasts. Or, if you can't stand waiting for an hour for the meat to cook, go ahead and get a cooked chicken from the deli.

My sweetheart loves to cook. I love to eat. This works out just fine until he's gone off to something and I'm on my own. Then, it's peanut butter on a cracker or a salad. Salads, btw, are really just a dumping ground for everything you like onto lettuce.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a much better idea. If I could make one dish (and then two, and then three) that I like, that would be a better start than this.

The mention about portion size is especially important, especially while I'm trying to figure it all out.

The boxes did teach me one thing: I might like chili. I think that's going to be the first thing I work on.

Thanks so much! :)

[ashmedai.livejournal.com]

Reading through the recipe, I'm thinking they do assume you'll prep and measure out everything beforehand...which isn't so bad. I always have everything prepared beforehand; that makes cooking go a lot smoother and I'm never doing three things at once. Plus, while I'm waiting for the water to boil or the meat to brown, I can do some clean-up and save a lot of time afterwards.

I think you got some great suggestions in the comment above! I was thinking of rec'ing Leanne Ely's books, since she gives you a week of menus per chapter, complete with a grocery list. But the recipes are all for family dinners (each serves six), so you'd probably have a ton of leftovers unless you split the recipes up. I either split them up or freeze the leftovers, that way we can just re-heat them and save time. There must be other resources like that on the net, though! I'd read some cooking blogs - so many people love to cook and blog about it, give great tips and shortcuts, and have good ideas.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, usually there was time to clean up (while something was in the oven or the oven was heating or whatever), that part was very handy! I almost never had a mess left in the kitchen once the meal was made.

Thanks for the book rec, but at the moment I'm going to pass. I keep buying book after book, then looking for info online instead. :P

[ashmedai.livejournal.com]

I keep buying book after book, then looking for info online instead. :P

LOL! No problem. I have tons of cookbooks and tend to do the same thing. :D

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

You are indeed supposed to measure everything out before you start.

http://blog.blueapron.com/the-first-technique-a-new-chef-should-master-mise-en-place/

At first I thought it was HUGELY annoying, but now that I have gotten used to it it really helps me get things done faster.

The service wasn't for me either though. It taught me some valuable things about cooking, but after several weeks where I didn't want what they were selling I cancelled it.

They will send you an email back sending you a link to complete the cancellation process, so check your spam folder! Sorry it didn't work out.

SO TRUE ABOUT THE ONIONS.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Not your fault at all! It was a good idea!

And ahh. They probably should have said that in their recipes then. (I sure did become envious about all their pretty little perfectly sized clear glass bowls to hold everything they needed!)

Yeah, they sent a link, which is a pain. I emailed before the cutoff for next week, but today is after it. I emailed them back pointing that out, but we'll see. I might end up getting next week's anyway.

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

Always worth a try! I enjoyed trying the service too, but... eh. If they would let you be signed up and just opt IN to the meals you wanted, I would do it. There was one week that was really awesome, with strip steak tacos and moroccan beef tagine and... something else. That week I was excited about all the recipes.

But it's just kind of MREH having to go and opt out of everything you do not want.

... ... i may have totally gone to big lots and bought a bunch of little glass bowls THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BECOME I HAVE A TON OF LITTLE GLASS BOWLS AND I DRINK TEA THAT I LEFT UNDER THE SINK FOR A WEEK WHO AM I EVEN.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

They gave up without a fight! No box next week. I wouldn't have been crushed if they still sent it, since it would be the last week and the recipes might have been okay (one was lamb and I haven't had that since I was a little kid, was curious if I'd like it or not).

I ENVY YOUR BOWLS. They're so neat and make things look really easy.

D: Don't drink tea like that! NEW IS BETTER. Unless it's some undersink tea recipe...

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

It is TOTALLY an undersink tea recipe. :) I am fermenting it like one would beer.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ah! Carry on then!

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

ALSO HERE IS MY FAVORITE CHILI:

http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/2009/02/22/my-favorite-chili-recipe/

It has no beans, so maybe you would like it more than the one with beans? Maybe not though, it takes a pretty long time to cook and still has a ton of onions.

What IS it with all the onions?!?!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Always with the onions! :D Actually, I don't think I'd mind them if they were cooked longer (to the point where you no longer notice them so much). Because I was trying to chop so darned fast, I didn't get them as small as I might otherwise have, so they were way too noticeable.

Thanks for the link!

[spike7451.livejournal.com]

Sorry it didn't work out for you but it sounds as though you are getting more stress than enjoyment out of it so I think cancelling is a good idea for you.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's just how it is. I think it's a good idea, too.

[al-zorra.livejournal.com]

There is no frackin' WAY anybody experienced in cooking would say anyone could do all this in ten minutes. I am speaking as someone who cooks meals from scratch most days of the week and have been doing so for many years.

These people are ripping off their subscribers.

Love, C.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Someone else commented that chopping (and measuring, etc) before starting would make it easier. I have two Blue Apron meals left for this week, and the rest are canceled, so maybe I'll try it that way next time.

But really, following the recipe as-is, thus doing all that in ten minutes? Impossible.

[lokyst.livejournal.com]

Doxxxicle and I have a system. The Saturdays we have time (new mmos notwithstanding) and we make the effort to cook. Whatever we cook has to last two days cause I ain't doing that shit twice ;)

During the week my meals are simple. Chicken breast in the oven or stir fries. And one day per week I take break and get take out or pre prepped food.

You get better at the basics, get to adventure with minimal stress about not getting to eat before bedtime and get a day or two of relaxation.

Best adventure so far has been home made pho, but boy did it take all day. :D

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

That's a very good plan! I'm going to work up to something like that. The less take-out or frozen food I eat, the better!

Oh wow, yeah, I've read about how pho is made. Came out well?

[lokyst.livejournal.com]

Yes it did. :9

Because of dietary restrictions I was always envious when doxxx had his beef pho and I couldn't try it. So when I made it I had him be the judge of whether it was up to snuff. He said it came out tasting like the stuff he always orders.