I always know when it's 3:30 AM...

[thistlechaser]

So tired. On the best of work nights, I get five hours of sleep. It's rarely a "best of" night. Three to four hours is closer to the norm. Last night I got all of one hour of sleep.

So. Tired.

Ellie New Cat is so full of energy. Every morning from 3:30 to 4:30 AM she races around from room to room (how a galloping cat can be so loud!). Unfortunately this includes my bedroom. And my bed.

LEAP ONTO THE BED! LEAP ONTO PERSON! KILL THAT FOOT! EAT THAT BLANKET! RUN RUN RUN OFF!

I try to wear her out during the day, but it doesn't seem to help at all. I'm considering getting a second cat to keep her entertained and help her burn off energy, but then I might end up with two cats who keep me up at night... (And I'm not sure getting a second cat would be right for her.)

And on a more serious note, I've been thinking about this for a while. I wonder how long it takes for love to happen. More important: Does it always happen? I couldn't have loved my previous cat more. If she had been human and a spouse or child of mine, I couldn't have loved her more. It's impossible for a human heart to feel more love than I felt for her. Ellie New Cat? She's a nice enough cat, but I feel nothing for her. That both makes me sad and makes me feel like I'm cheating her somehow.

I think part of the issue is she's still somewhat scared of me. It's been a whole month now and if I get too close to her, she'll sometimes run off. If I reach for her with two hands, she'll sometimes run off. If I look at her wrong or the moon is waxing or who knows what, she might go running off. She is getting better, every day it seems like she's making an improvement, but it's still so... depressing. I've been nothing but kind to her, I don't even have to lift my voice to correct her (she's so sensitive), I feed her and play with her and give her treats, and yet at times she still treats me like I'm going to hurt her.

I don't mind waiting more for her to come around, I just worry she'll stop making progress and she'll never really trust me. I'm probably worrying too much, that's a specialty of mine. :P

Comments

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

I think it's ok not to love new kitty as much - you haven't spent as much time with her, and these things grow over time if they grow, and if they don't grow as strongly, you're still giving her a home.

I have two cats right now, and I very obviously love one more than the other, and she loves me more than the other cat. One of them likes to sit with me when I do things, sleep under the covers, etc. etc. The other one basically has nothing to do with me unless there is food, or will sometimes timidly come let me pat her on the head, but she doesn't want to be picked up, ever, and she isn't really big about even sitting around me and the other cat. She likes to hide most of the time. I have no idea why this is, she doesn't seem afraid of ME or the other cat. Sometimes they make a catpile on my bed on weekends. (They aren't allowed in the bedroom while I'm at work on weekdays.)

So, I love one of them more than the other, and I still don't really love either of them as much as I loved the cat I grew up with. I think it's just part of what you went through with certain animals. You love them all, but it takes time, and sometimes you love certain ones more. You can't help how you feel.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

and if they don't grow as strongly, you're still giving her a home.

That's the important part, I'm doing this to help a cat in need. Anything I get out of this is all bonus.

Isn't a cat who likes to sleep under the covers the best thing? So warm and cuddly!

Thanks for the comment! Yay kitties! :)