Wil Wheaton responds to a 13 year old girl's question about being bullied

[thistlechaser]

I wish someone had said this to me back when I was 13:

Back when I was in school, there had been no school shootings yet. Bullying was okay. Even teachers got in on it (either actively or by looking the other way). Only once did a teacher ever try to stop me from being bullied, and when she was ignored, she gave up.

There was no Internet. Talk about being cut off, being trapped with all these people who hated you and made sure you didn't go a minute without knowing it.

Sometimes I wonder what I would have been like now if I hadn't been bullied every single school day. I couldn't walk from one classroom to another without being pushed, teased, jabbed with thumbtacks and pencils, and other such abuses (the words were by far worse than any physical thing). It started in kindergarten (kindergarten! Because of the kind of lunch I had brought -- jelly and cream cheese on graham crackers, the other kids said it looked like worms) and it never stopped from there. Sometime in college it started slowing down. I think my junior year of college was the first year I had with no teasing.

It makes me bitter now, for so many reasons. No one should have to go through that. To think that positive things, like me liking to read and enjoying learning, only made it worse.

I often think I should be able to just 'shake it off' and forget about it. I was a kid, they were kids, I'm an adult now. It's not that easy though.

Edit: I had intended this to be a positive post, sharing that nice video. The subject of bullying seems to always send me in darker directions though.

Comments

[wizardelfgirl.livejournal.com]

I must admit I was pretty lucky. While I was bullied in school, it started around 4th grade, so I had a few years of good friendship, plus the teachers loved me and treated me very well (they never realized I was bullied). Also, in the 80s-90s, bullying in Mexico was not like in the US or other countries. It was more about name-calling and isolation from the group (and some pranks like gluing my locker's lock) than any physical violence.

Funnily enough, I kinda brought the bullying upon myself. While I was not bullied from 1st-3rd grade, there were kids that were, and I started being friends with the bullied kids so they wouldn't be alone and sad. When this mean girl joined the group in 4th grade, this tendency plus my inherent "weirdness" made me a target, and since the other bullied kids had been pulled out of the school by then, I was the only target left.

I don't regret being friends with the bullied kids and becoming a target too though. Years later, during a science fair held in another school, one of the students there went to look for me at my stand. She was one of the bullied kids I'd been friends with, and she remembered me fondly (sadly there were no cellphones then yet and I had no pen/paper to write down her phone number so I lost track of her afterwards). Also, at some point I learned to stand my ground and defend myself, so the bullies still kept me isolated but otherwise didn't bother me as much, and since I didn't mind being isolated I wasn't too bothered by it either. While I don't exactly thank these people for bullying me, I am thankful for the strength I gained from learning to stand my ground.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

That's good of you that you were friends with them. I'm not surprised that they remembered you -- I remember the one friend I had, too. I've tried tracking her down, but her name is too common and I've had no luck.

Thanks for leaving this comment. I too easily generalize and think ALL kids were awful.