Currently it seems that eating food is overrated

[thistlechaser]

As of today, I'm okay to eat "normal" food. The rule is: it has to be very moist, but I don't need to puree the life out of it.

Problem is, basically anything I eat leaves me feeling uncomfortable for 3-4 hours after, and I'm generally not very hungry*, so it's hard to eat.

Lunch was a half of a tablespoon of pureed chicken. Dinner was two Ritz crackers (sadly stale). At this point in time, my meals are supposed to be about four tablespoons of food, so I'm kind of behind. (But I still drink my two protein shakes and take special vitamins, so I won't fall over dead from malnutrition.) I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to eat that "much", as one tablespoon makes me uncomfortable.

Meals, even when it's only a tablespoon, have to take 30 minutes to eat, and your bites have to be smaller than your pinky fingernail (assuming you don't keep your nails long). I usually have to reheat my food three times while I eat it, because there's such a small amount and it takes me so long.

I want to eat normal food so badly. A piece of chicken. A chicken nugget. PIZZA. A hamburger! But knowing it will just leave me feeling sick for hours (or worse) takes all the enjoyment out of it.

You don't think about it when you can eat, but eating really is fun. It's such an enjoyable event, I miss it so much.

My favorite meal is melted cheese. Don't ask me why non-melted cheese isn't okay, but the same cheese melted is. I melt it in a pan, and let the bottom get crispy (probably not what they intend), and it tastes like the edge of a grilled cheese sandwich.

*The exception to the general lack of raging hunger is when I smell something. Someone was grilling steak tonight, and it was all I could do to keep myself from pounding on their door and asking for some. Food smells AMAZING now. It literally makes my mouth water.

Oh well. One day I'll... well, never eat normal, but be closer to normal-ish.

In non-food news, I joined a forum RP group for the first time ever. I didn't think forum RP would be for me (I like real time RP so much), but forum RP is great because you can write as long of posts as you like. I've always had to hold myself back in RP, but now I can write and write and write. The (very big) downside is how long a post round takes. An exciting scene I'm in hasn't had a post from one person in more than 24 hours, so it stops the whole scene dead. Sigh! Still, as a supplement to "real" RP, I'm enjoying it a lot.

Comments

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

Glad you've reached normal food, even if it isn't without issue.
Hopefully your progress will continue to be good!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Agreed, and thanks!

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

I love melt cheese too!

What is the rp setting?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

World of Darkness: Vampire. Not a theme I'd usually be interested in, but I have a bunch of friends there, so I was willing to try. I'm just not much of a vampire person.

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

Cool. I haven't played Vampire more than a handful of times but I still play in an old Changeling chat.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I haven't played Changling at all, but who knows, maybe this Vampire site I'm on will expand one day. (I sure do wish it would, but I suspect it won't.)

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

That would be awesome. I love the chat, but the player pool has become small and petty in a lot of ways.

[manue7a.livejournal.com]

I used to RP a lot, in forum RPs. Waiting two weeks for an answer never took the fun out of it, it was like putting a book aside and coming back to it. It's funny how forum RP is a supplement for real time RP for you - for me it was always the other way round :D

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing I'll get used to it. I've played real time RP all my life, so now that I'm waiting almost 48 hours (!!!!) for a reply is just killing me. This is just my first week playing with them, so I guess I just need to adjust.

[hamsterwoman]

Glad you've gotten to the "real food" stage! Hopefully actually eating it will become less problematic as you continue to heal / get used to the new way of eating.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I seemed to turn a corner today (always seems to happen after I post about something, heh). I actually had real, whole chicken and some berries for lunch. I feel like a real person!

[socksofjello.livejournal.com]

The lack of immediacy in forum RP is a mixed bag. On one hand, it's great for folks who have busy lives or just don't have the stamina for real-time RP; on the other, relatively simple scenes can take weeks, and it's not uncommon for players to drop out of threads silently and leave you hanging until you've figured out they've lost interest.

I hope you have a good experience, though! And hey, if you find anyone cool, you can always nudge them and see if they're up for a faster-paced medium.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Luckily the same person I followed there is my main real time RP person. :D So even if he's slower than me in our thread, I get him for real time RP, so it works out.

And thanks! :D

[ashmedai.livejournal.com]

More progress! I'm happy for you. :)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yay! Yep! Thanks. :D

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

Yay for progress!

They have these coffee cup warmer things you can keep on your desk. Would one of those work better to keep your food warm?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, that's a really good idea. Today's lunch was cold, but for hot things that'd be perfect.

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

That is a great idea!

[adam-0oo.livejournal.com]

Thank god for the protein shakes, I have a hard time even imagining eating such tiny amounts of food.

Once upon a time, I used to be a practicing Muslim, and I would fast for the month of Ramadan. I would be hungry, but only somewhat, I would miss the taste of food, the action of eating and social things connected to it.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the protein shakes really save me. They don't taste good (but not bad either), but they'll keep me going if I can't or don't want to eat.

Yeah, it really is all the things around eating more than being hungry. Some of it is flavors or tastes I miss (FRIES! SALTY CRUNCHY THINGS! ARG! GIMME NOW!), but mostly it's just spending time doing nothing but eating good tasting but bad for me food.