Way to ruin a food blog...

[thistlechaser]

I love reading food blogs. Cooking blogs, review blogs, anything food related. There's one I've been especially enjoying, he reviews lots of funky things from his local dollar store. Then I got to an entry about candy cigarettes. The post started with:

Candy cigarettes. The very concept gives bluenoses, anti-tobacco fanatics, and health nazis apoplectic convulsions of self-righteous rage and indignation. Back when I was a kid - before America decided to roll up its sleeves and get down to the serious business of turning its citizens into pussies - candy cigarettes were not only widely available, but were marketed using real cigarette brands and package art.

I... wait... what? None of his other posts have had this feel to it, at first I was sure it was a joke or a parody or something, but nope. Now suddenly reading his blog has a Rush Limbaughesque feel to it.

Yo parents! Stop raising pussies! Forget the candy cigarettes, give your kids real ones! This is AMERICA after all!

Edit: He also picked and ate mushrooms growing in his yard without knowing what they were. D: D: D: Do not do that, people! Even if you think you know what a mushroom is, there are many that look alike -- poisonous ones that look like safe ones!

Comments

[bastets-place.livejournal.com]

May I add, as a non-pussified American that happens to possess one, candy cigarettes were dreadful. The world is much better off without them. They tasted like a cross between powdered sugar and tums.

Gum cigars, now, those were also pretty bad; not as bad, but bad - like off brand grape hubba-bubba. Strongly fake flavor with too much mass.


Mind you, the mushroom thing does explain, possibly, why he misses candy cigarettes, of all things: he fried a few too many brain cells. If you REALLY want to regret the loss of a candy that was WONDERFUL as a child, but is no longer widely available, miss Ice Cubes chocolates. Miss orange flavored baby aspirin. (seriously - I loved those as a kid, and now that I HAVE to take baby aspirin, can I find them? No! argh!) Miss merry-go-rounds and tall swingsets and jungle gyms in metal and playing on real grass and in real water on real rivers. Miss running around the neighborhood in packs, not getting home until JUST before full dark, filthy, hungry, and exhausted.

Candy Cigarettes. Bah!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I forgot about chocolate Ice Cubes! Those were so good!

And haha, I think you're right about the mushroom/brain cell connection.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I'm sad to say, I looked on Amazon and you can order the chocolate ice cubes there. So tempting! Must resist! I thought they were long gone from this world.