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So I spent the afternoon with my cheek pressed against an old Asian woman's breast while she and her girl covered my face with rubber (hello breath-control play!). Once I was immobile, the two inserted various things into my mouth and caused me much pain. And in the end, I paid them well for their services.

Okay, it was less exciting than that sounded. It was my afternoon at the dentist. While said breast was against my cheek for more than an hour, it... well, I don't really have an explanation for why, it just was. This dentist is odd (for more reasons besides the breast); it was my first time having a cavity with her, and she did things really differently:

Let me start by saying that as I've gotten older, I've developed fears of being smothered. I have no clue where they come from, but sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic because the pillow is too close to my mouth. So imagine my joy when the first step of the visit was to cover my mouth with a rubber "dam". There was a hole in it for my tooth, and so once my tooth was through they tied/locked/whatevered it in place. It was covering my mouth and holding it open. (Know how hard it is to swallow when your jaws are open as far as they can be? I do! It's really hard!) The purpose of this was to keep the "chemicals" from falling into my mouth as she worked. This was really odd and nothing like my last dentists had done.

So then I got the shot (with my eyes squeezed shut as hard as I could -- if I can't see the needle, it can't hurt me!). Then I got drilled. And drilled. And drilled. Seven times (I counted!). Know what's worse than getting drilled? Getting drilled, having her stop and look, go 'hmm' in a very displeased tone, then drill more. Hey, doc: If you're not happy with how something is going, *please* do *not* let me know! Seriously, pretend it's going well! Pretend it's going better than you expected!

So after an hour of drilling and other really really bad things, I was done. I had kept myself so tense while in the chair that I almost fainted when I stood up. But I survived, paid my $100+ bill, and exited as fast as I could.

Four words: Thank god for Novocaine. (Strangely, it wore off right away, in less than an hour after I left. Usually I walk around with a numb mouth for hours and hours.)

And hey look! A whole post with no mention of OotP!
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