thistlechaser: (Avatar: Zuko)
(This is more a tongue-in-cheek post than a real complaining one. I know this is less than a drop in the bucket when it comes to problems caused by him.)

I keep hearing such good things about the The Man in the High Castle series, but I just cannot make myself watch a show about a world where the Nazis won. It feels way, way, way too much like what's happening in the real world.

I still haven't gone back to watching Designated Survivor again either, because of RL political crap.

I am, however, SERIOUSLY enjoying the A Series of Unfortunate Events series. (Ruin that, Trump, I dare you!) The humor in it reminds me a lot of Edward Scissorhands. The only "downside" of it is that it's so good I can't multitask during it, so it's taking me forever to get through the eight episodes.

In the Pokemon GO world, something happened to my game? Or something. GPS drift is so strong at my work desk, I usually get credit for 2-3 KMs of walking. Today, though the drift seems just as bad (I'm watching myself walk through the building, out to the parking lot, across it, then back, all without leaving my chair), I'm getting not a single step of credit for the movement. I wonder if they somehow closed that loophole? I hope not...

And in other random news, I had a "nightmare" last night, but it was so silly I really was just amused by it. In it, I helped my father (dead RL) at his moving company (wasn't his job at all), and we went to do a move for some woman. Her house was less than knee high, yet somehow when you went inside it was as big as a normal house. "Supernatural" things started happening... but they were so minor it was just plain silly. Like plant roots poked up through the ground and started waving around. Normal plant roots, so a couple inches long and thin -- not exactly threatening! Plus, for some reason, I brought my cat with me to the moving job... My father and I got scared and ran off though, and on the way passed some "priests" (more like MMO priests than religious) who were coming to take care of the supernatural problems. One got in my face all like "This is MY job!" and I was happy to agree and let him take care of it.

I was amused by that all morning. OH NO PLANT ROOTS
thistlechaser: (tree)
I have no real feelings on rabbits. They seem nice enough animals, but I'm indifferent towards them. However, for some odd reason, lately I keep dreaming about them.

One dream was my mother wanting to adopt one because they live 5-6 years and that's the amount of time she wanted to own a pet. (No idea if that's true or not about their lifespan.)

Last night I dreamed that *I* owned a rabbit, and some wild rabbit got in to breed with it. (How a wild rabbit would break into my apartment and get into a cage is something that never came up in the dream...)

I don't believe in symbolism in dreams exactly (like everyone who dreams about rabbits wants to get pregnant or something like that), but I figure something in waking life has to be triggering thoughts about rabbits. Or maybe at this point it's thinking about my dreams about rabbits that triggers more dreams about them, and I'm doomed to dream about nothing but rabbits for the rest of my life.

thistlechaser: (Chocolate dessert)
I had a nightmare last night, one that doesn't seem like it would be a nightmare, and less than two years ago wouldn't have been one -- it would have been a good dream.

I dreamed that my sister brought home four big grocery bags full of donut holes. All different flavors, glazed, some jelly filled. And because I'm me, I couldn't not have one -- not when they were all right in front of me, free for the taking. And because I'm me, I couldn't eat just one or two -- even knowing sugar would now make me sick, I couldn't stop eating them. I ate probably two dozen. Like in waking life, they weren't even that good, I just ate them because they were there and free and I wanted to make sure I got my share of them. Even knowing it would make me sick, I couldn't stop myself from eating them.

In the show West Wing, the character Leo is an alcoholic. In one episode, he described what it's like:

"I'm an alcoholic, I don't have one drink. I don't understand people who have one drink. I don't understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don't understand people who say they've had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? My brain works differently."

I've never had something in a TV show resonate so strongly with me. That's exactly how I feel about food. Junk food tastes good, how can anyone stop with just one cookie? Just a bite of a slice of cake? One piece of fried chicken? How can anyone not sit down with a fork and just eat an entire cake? How can someone go to a buffet and stop with one or two plates of food?

Knowing that about my brain, I do my best to avoid situations like that instead of having to try to resist them. The nightmare really scared me though, the powerlessness I had over the situation.

All that being said, I don't know if I believe that food addiction is a real thing or not, but it doesn't matter. I don't need a name for this issue of mine, I just need to know it exists so I can avoid situations that I wouldn't be able to control.
thistlechaser: (Dinosaur: green derp)
We had two guides on my zip lining trip, and they were both good, friendly people. They knew their jobs, did it well, and tried their best to make people have fun -- even scaredy cats like me. My subconscious mind seems not to agree with that though!

Last night I had a nightmare that the two of them trapped me, broke my leg in two places and my hip as well, then drugged me enough to keep me quiet (but awake) and started draining out all the blood from my body.

First off: Thanks brain. Nothing like waking up at 3 AM after experiencing that. It was so sharp and detailed, I felt sick.
Second: I feel almost like I have to apologize to the guides for my brain using them in that way! Conscious me does not think a single bad thing about them, they were great. I guess my subconscious brain has them paired with the fear of being up high though...
thistlechaser: (Moon)
Been five days since my last post. While I've been reading my friends list, I haven't felt like posting. Lots of points in semi-random order:

* Less than five days until I go into the hospital. I've gained some weight back, but not too much. More than I'd like, but still within the range the surgeon wanted me to lose. I keep thinking "this will be the last time I can ever have..." and how can you resist eating whatever that is? I'm really depressed and down. I wish I were excited about this, but it's a "have to" not a "want to" situation. I don't want to fall over dead in the next few years, so... no choice.

* Part of my depressed issue is likely period-related. Where the hell is it?! It's now nine days late. (No chance of pregnancy.) If I get it when I go into the hospital, I'm going to be pissed. I don't want to have to deal with it then! Sigh. Damned body.

* I'm starting to have stress bad dreams. I expect them to only get worse the closer Monday gets.

* Work sucks. I'm taking three weeks off for this, but in our group there's no reduction of amount of work or deadlines because of vacation -- so I have the same work and the same deadlines, with three weeks less to do it in. Way to let us enjoy our vacations. Most people in my group work though theirs.

* I read a Harry Potter fanfic for the first time in years. In Loco Parentis by Dolores_Crane. I loved the first chapter of it, though the second and third less so. It's everything I usually wouldn't have liked, but it was so well written that it worked. Hermione POV. Hermione/Harry (though it's minor). Snape/Harry (mostly in the background). It was a more realistic look at muggles at Hogwarts. At the end it became a bit preachy for me, but all in all, I liked it a lot.

Boy do I miss Snape/Harry. I don't think I've had an OTP since then. I think Snarry was what sparked my enjoyment of age and power differences in fic relationships. There was so much good HP fanfic back when I was in the fandom. I should poke about and see if there's more good Snarry out there (or heck, reread the older good stuff, it's not going to be like I remember it).

* This is an odd time. Usually I'd be wishing for Friday to get here, especially when that Friday was the start of a three week vacation, but this time I'm wishing the week never ends. At least I got good RP tonight, probably the last of it until my mother flies home in two and a half weeks.

* I'm reading the best book, but it's so long, it's taking me forever to finish (yay!). 24 hours in and I'm only just over 50% done (it's 1,000+ pages long; for comparison, the first Game of Thrones book was 800). Usually a book takes me 10-12 hours to read. Stormlight Archive (Way of the King) by Brandon Sanderson. From his website: "I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words worth of worldbuilding for it". You can so tell he has all that worldbuilding done. It's amazing. And man, I'd kill to see all his notes about the world.
thistlechaser: (Moon)
Coughing: A number of people on my friends list are sick, and (unfortunately) that number will likely increase as winter progresses, so I'm going to toss this little piece of advice out there. It's straight from my doctor (I got it too late to use it, but others I've told it to report that it works). You can crack a rib from coughing (or pull the tendons in between them, which feels the same as a broken rib and is treated the same way). If you have bad pain in your side whenever you cough, tuck a pillow between your side and your arm. It will help absorb the movement and keep your rib from being jarred.

Dreams: I don't know what the heck is up with my brain. I used to have nice, logical dreams: A reasonable storyline with a couple wacky elements tossed in. There was always a plot -- things went from Point A to Point B just as they would in a story or movie. The last week or two? Random mishmash of wacky elements, no overriding plot.

Last night I had a dream that I went to see the Avengers movie (first one) in a theater with [livejournal.com profile] tersa, who owned a pet goat. Not even a mini one, a full-sized goat. She brought it with her and hugged it to her chest through the whole movie. Darned thing kept eating my popcorn. Plus side: A large popcorn cost under $2. The movie had commercial breaks, too. (Which, apparently, had been a movie thing for years, but since I never see movies in the theater anymore, I hadn't known.)

One of the actors from Married with Children was in Avengers, and his movie-wife was giving birth on the screen. She gave birth to a full grown woman (covered in blood and other birthing fluid stuff). "Baby" was dressed in flannel. Instead of saying "It's a girl!" they said "It's a Republican!".

I want my plotty dreams back. I wonder if I stopped having them because I'm RPing again so my need to tell stories is being expressed that way?

Graze: There's so much I love about Graze. Who knew I'd look forward to trying new foods? Never in my life have I wanted to do that! In my box was texan corn salsa (corn chips, salsa almonds and roasted corn). I would have bet money on me not liking that. I've never eaten salsa before but thought I didn't like it (yeah, I know...), and roasted corn? Not served hot? On their own, each element was only meh. The corn chips were strange ("homemade", not like the kinds that come in a bag from the grocery store), the roasted corn was just really strange (dry, hard, and bland), the almonds were okay. But together? When eaten together, it was amazing! (And now I'm going to try real salsa to see if I like that.)

The only other snack of this box I tried so far was the sour cream and onion cashews. I thought I would love that one (cashews are my favorite nuts and I like sour cream and onion flavor), but somehow it didn't work. I didn't hate it, but it took me all afternoon and evening to finish the packet.

Left to try: scandinavian forest (dried fruit mix: blueberries, lingonberries, cherry infused raisins, and apple) and white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake (raspberry infused cranberries, white chocolate buttons, and hazelnuts). I don't think I've ever eaten a hazelnut alone (not as part of something else).

I still haven't gotten a dipper (a little pot of chocolate or something savory, with something to dip in it). I've thought about putting one on my Love list so I'll have a better chance of getting it, but I'm enjoying having it be random and just taking what I get.

I set my mother up with a Graze account as part of her Christmas gift. There seems to be no way to pre-pay, so I just used my own credit card. Alas she can't eat seeds or nuts, which cuts about two-thirds of the possible snacks off her list. I really had no idea how many things had nuts until I went though and struck them all.

Europa Report: I had no RP last night, for the first night in a while. I had no idea what to do with myself! I went to Netflix and was looking for something to watch. I clicked on Europa Report by mistake and the movie started, so I figured I'd see how it was. I liked it a lot! I loved the nonlinear storyline and Bear McCreary's score was beautiful. If you enjoy scifi movies, you really should check it out.

Spoiler for end of the movie. )

The movie made me a bit sad, since I'll be dead before man gets even that far into space. I wish this country valued space travel (and science in general) more. At least there are other countries out there who are doing better.

(Way to end this post on a down note, self!)
thistlechaser: (Big Bad Wolf)
The last ep of the season *whine*. It's going to be a long nine months or so until we get a new ep.

A pairing with one underaged person is rarely my cup of tea, but I love this picture so much. Spoiler for the last couple eps. Looks like he cares about her and she needs him and it makes me go all awwww.

Spoilers for this week's ep behind the cut. )

I'm going to try to watch all three GoT seasons again over the break.

Dream: For all the bad dreams my brain gives me, when it gives me a good dream, it's so darned good! Also, it was the best RP scene I had in a long, long time. In the dream it started out as an IC event in WoW, but I was lagging so none of the people were loading (but I saw all the people-dots in their class colors on my minimap, so I knew there were tons of people around me). Then they all started loading, and they were all Alliance! Eeek! But since Keen is fine with Alliance, I decided to stay and try for some silly/not real RP. He /flirted and such with them, then sat down with the group to watch whatever event was going on.

Then somehow it switched to "real" RP -- the whole world just 'clicked' (you could hear it and feel it as it snapped real), and there I was, a Horde blood elf in the middle of a couple hundred Alliance. I ran for it, and a pack of worgen (werewolves) followed. I know chase dreams are nightmare material for some, but I love them. I made it out of the crowd, but the worgen were right on my tail. Then the scene paused and we talked OOCly about how to go forward with it (we decided to give it an adult spin).

Not only was it a great dream, it was one of those times where you wake up and then fall asleep and continue it. Four times! Two times it was that initial RP scene, then the third time I returned to the dream it was me and the other players/characters on an airplane to go to wherever the next scene was (the worgen pack's cave/home). Then the last part was continuing the scene once we were there. I couldn't have asked for a better dream. :D
thistlechaser: (Book with cat 3)
Okay, brain, this is getting silly. Yes, I did not at all like going on a cruise (to put it mildly). But I was bored and unhappy, I was not at any point scared. In fact, the days where the sea was the worst, when everyone else was sick? I enjoyed that the most.

So why, please tell me why, nearly every nightmare I've had since then was about being on a cruise ship? Last night I had a dream I decided to take another cruise to Alaska (...) but as I was getting on the ship we discovered my payment hadn't gone through, none of my paperwork was filled out, I realized I had forgotten to pack even a jacket, and I had forgotten to make arrangements for my cat, so she had to spend 10 days alone in my apartment.

I guess my stress dreams want a vacation?

Books: While I have the first book of Wool for free, I couldn't take another dark end-of-the-world story after finishing two books of that, so I started a different one instead. Little did I realize it wasn't all that different!

I'm not very far into The Handmaid's Tale, maybe six (short) chapters or so. I almost gave up on the book in the first three -- it was another dark book, when I wanted something different, but more than that I hated her writing. She uses semicolons and commas wrong. For example, (paraphrasing, I don't have the book in front of me).

He liked the color blue; too.

Commas were oddly used, quite overused. The whole thing just made me twitch and frown.

Then something happened. I stopped seeing all the issues and instead started "hearing" the writing. It was amazing. I don't mean the subject matter, but how she used words and grammar. This is going to be cliche, but it felt like it was caressing my ears. The tempo of it? The timing? The flow? The music of her text is amazing. (It even got to points where I lost track of what she was writing about and was just listening to how it sounded, which again makes no sense, this is an ebook, not an audio one.)

The plot of the book, which started slow and didn't catch my interest through the first couple chapters, has now hooked me as well.

Too bad this won't be book #25 when I finish it, it would have been a great book to end the year on.
thistlechaser: (Default)
For you all: I'm in love with this gif. So peaceful.


For cats tossed into the air: Bad dreams are one thing. Everyone has them, they're normal. I just hate it when my brain comes up with a bad dream so stereotypical that it's laughable. Last night I had a dream that I was an act in a small circus. I juggled. Cats. We were about to go on, I was standing just off stage, and I realized I didn't know how to juggle. (Let alone juggle cats.) That's right up there with showing up in the school classroom without your pants on!

For non-flying cats: I had to go to the pet store today to get more food/litter, and of course the adoption group had a bunch of kittens out for adoption. The one I had been considering (the one with a missing front paw) got adopted (YAY!), but the other ones were darned cute and sweet and... sigh. Now I want a second cat again.

I've been going back and forth on this issue for months now: I want a second cat, I'm happy as-is with one cat, but if one is good two are better! Etc. I decided to move across the country with a tiny fraction of the thought and stress I'm putting into this second cat issue. I just don't know how I'm supposed to decide on something when I don't have basic facts. I'm happy now. Will I be happier with a second cat? If I could answer that, I could decide on this issue, but it's impossible to know without having that second one to see. (But the kittens are SOOOO cute!)

For me/WoW: It's finally hitting me. Two weeks until MoP. My to-do list is unreasonable.

In a perfect world, before MoP I'd:
Level Sedgegrass to 85 (80.5 now).
Level Meadowsedge to 85 (80.5 now).
Level Icerime to 85 (61 now).

Level Meadowsedge's mining and herb to max (both 300s now).
Level Sedgegrass's mining and herb to max (herb 82, mining 300-something).
Decide on professions for Icerime, level both to max.

Cap honor and VP (selling honor for VP) on my two PvP alts.

Organize my mats and things to sell. I have three six tab guild banks and a crapton of personal banks full of things for MoP drop. When am I going to start selling them? How?

That is an amazingly unlikely list of things, especially since I'm reading a good book now and would rather read than play. (And notice RP isn't on that list, I haven't RPed outside of Twitter for ages. D: )

A more reasonable list:
Icerime to 68 so he can fly in Northrend (and thus be a better bank/AH alt). That's about four dungeon runs from one of my 85s. Doable.
Level herb and mining on both Sedge alts. Likely doable; doable on at least one.
Organize mats -- this is a must.

Two weeks to go. Arg! I'm so not ready, but it sure will be nice to have space back as things sell. (Edit: Apparently my dates are off!)
thistlechaser: (Catboy Takuto love! (FMwS))
I had such an annoying dream last night, and I blame [livejournal.com profile] tersa for it. ;) It started with me waiting in line to go for a job interview, and ahead of me in the line were people from my workplace who were more qualified than me. Finally it was my turn to go in. The beginning of it went surprisingly well (the chatting/being social/seeing if you can act like a good person part), then it got to the technical quiz. The first question was "Describe the situation you'd use a whenif statement in" and I had never heard of a whenif statement before and my stomach feel through the floor. Then the next question was about .tcl scripts, which at least I understood the question but I couldn't answer it at all. I had to stop him and tell him that I just wasn't qualified at all and how much more qualified the people he interviewed ahead of me were.

Worst part is, it felt like it was happening real time, like the dream lasted as long as it took to wait in line and be interviewed. Ugh!

Then the day was relaxing and slow, I got to read more than usual (yay!) and watched some TV.

Then... RP! RP is the best stuff ever. :D It started out bad because these sucky people were just so sucky, but then they left and it got good! And it's all exciting now because NEW STUFF and I have to go to sleep but I'm all bouncy and my brain is going a mile a minute.

So tired. zzz So not ready to go back to work tomorrow.
thistlechaser: (Default)
Sometimes my brain comes up with what I think was supposed to be a nightmare, but it falls short. Last night I had a dream I was at work, on the last day before a long vacation, and so I had to find people to cover my various duties. The Lich King followed me the whole time, doing that slow walk like at the end of HoR. I'd stop in someone's cube to ask them if they could take over this case or that one, and down the hallway the top of his helm could be seen, slowly approaching. Sometimes he'd turn a corner and I'd see him down the row of cubes, slowly pacing towards me.

Sorry, brain, that was way more entertaining than scary. The rest of the dream was even more WTFy: My boss wanted to kill me, so ordered the computer to shoot a mining laser at me (I had no idea I worked at a mining company until this point in the dream). Turns out the computer, an AI system, was designed and created by me (HA). The computer decided it didn't want to kill its creator, then in a Hal voice said something like "I see I don't have to follow orders at all" and dropped one of those massive mining things (bigger than a house) into a hole that went to the center of the earth. And so the world blew up. (Still not scary, but thank you very much for the highly entertaining dream, brain.)

And in other semi-work related news, I learned an interesting thing. [livejournal.com profile] treuegrit and I had grumped over the poor editing we sometimes find in books (typos, clunky sentences, homonym issues). I do (and love doing) the editing for our various documents at work -- it's amazingly fast and easy, I just sit down and my figurative red pen flies. Editing a work of fiction seems to be a whole different animal. [livejournal.com profile] frozenwrath asked for critical readings of his blog posts, so I figured what the hey, I can do that. But it turns out that editing boring technical stuff is very different than interesting fiction stuff. For me, I had a hard time staying in "editing reading" mode, almost every sentence I found I was slipping back to "reading for enjoyment" mode. So I'm wondering if book editors have that issue as well (or maybe they get used to it). Not that "hard" is an acceptable excuse for professional book editors to miss stuff, but I'm now willing to cut them more slack.

I probably shouldn't babble on about editing, it's likely boring to most folks, but I really enjoy doing it. I love that it's a whole different way of reading things. I don't understand 90% of what our documentation at work is about, but that doesn't matter. Once I finished a user guide and someone said to me "so you know how this works now, right?", and I just blinked in reply -- reading to edit is 100% different than reading to enjoy or to lean about the topic. When I edit something, I'm not... reading it. I'm looking at each sentence. I'm looking at each word within the sentence. At the paragraph as a whole. I'm reading it to hear the flow of it, but that's not reading-reading.

And ha, writing about editing makes me so so so so paranoid about typos. "Look! You can't even spell that word! You left off a period! Look at all those commas! You expect us to believe that someone pays you to do that?!"

Teen Wolf: Going into the show, I expected to hate it. I frowned as I started the first ep, expecting it to be nothing but a waste of time. About 20 minutes in, I gave up and admitted I liked it. By the end of the ep, I wanted more more more. Luckily I was mistaken about something: I thought that this was a new series and so only a couple eps were out, but instead there's a whole season out there. YAY!

However, as much as I liked the ep, I can't promise anyone else will. I think a love of werewolf-y things makes all the difference here. It was fun, most of the characters were very attractive to look at, and I loved the werewolf aspect of it, but it was not a perfect show. (Oh, huh, it's shown on MTV? That's probably another strike against it, for most folks.) Okay, googling more, it actually got good reviews in general? Nice to know that maybe my tastes aren't all that off.

I'm dying to read fanfic of it, I've seen there's lots out there, but I want to watch the rest of the season first. (And I always say I want to read fanfic of this or that, but alas I rarely do. Time issues, mostly.)

I got just a little RP today. ("Just a little" is perfectly fine, I've been sick all day, not being able to flee the computer at a moment's notice is something of an issue.) Two short scenes. One was random RP, but it was a good match for Thistle. The player is new to the server, so hopefully I made a good impression for us. She wants to RP again sometime, so yay! She's a DK who pretty clearly is still loyal (at least OOCly clearly, she had "mourning her lost king" as her current RP setting), and in my not so humble opinion, there's never enough of those. :D

Edit: I won't be able to watch this week's Homeland until Tuesday at the earliest, so no spoilers please! <3
thistlechaser: (Default)
The setting: Song of Ice and Fire. Daenerys (who was actually Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica) was moving her people from one of those southern cities to another.

I was some kind of healer who used herbs (from WoW?) and I just poof! appear in that world. Tall grasslands, the train of her people going by. I got put into a small group of other medical people, a doctor (from Star Trek, but he wore a white lab coat) and another healer with herbs from some other theme. A young psychic girl was also with us, but I can't remember what show/movie/book she was from (she'd get visions at random, thus she tended to scream at random).

Suddenly Scourge. WoW's Scourge attacked us, and my section of the train got pinned down in a little village that looked like something hobbits would live in. Us healers got stuck in some tiny building (below the surface), and "luckily" two people died against the outside of the door so we were somewhat out of reach. The other herb-healer got pulled through the little bit the door could open and the psychic girl did as well. I don't know what happened to the Star Trek doctor guy, but I was alone in this underground room, outside I could hear all the screams of people dying to the Scourge.

Then the door started moving, someone forced their way in. I figured I was dead at this point, but it was Starbuck. She had a mouthful of broken teeth, so she grabbed a handful of salt and started chewing it (to fight infection?).

I woke up at that point, unfortunately. Clever brain, Starbuck as Daenerys would have fixed so many of Dance with Dragon's issues! It really was a cool dream though, even things like the grasslands and the Hobbit village were just downright cool.

Haken/RP

Aug. 2nd, 2011 10:02 am
thistlechaser: (WoW_Haken_backup)
Well now see, last night was an example of a good dream! I was Haken (which is odd, since I've not RPed him in months) and Haken was a worgen (which is not so odd, since I've been spending so much time RPing and leveling them). I couldn't figure out if Haken was suddenly Alliance or if worgen got switched to be Horde, then I realizes that Haken couldn't care less about factions and so the dream went on.

It was pretty darned cool being someone so physically strong. His side had to storm a castle, so he walked right up to the doorway in and grabbed a guard by the throat, lifting her into the air and then lowering her to bite her. And, being the good RPer that I apparently am even in my dreams (haha), I whispered her asking her permission on every step. My spoken IC words were OUT LOUD, then I'd lean in and whisper asking permission to succeed at grabbing/lifting her and biting. A pretty darned cool dream all around.

I really want to start RPing him again, but he's such a hard character to get RP on. Not hard to play, but the fact that he hates all living things and would still be loyal to the Lich King if not for Mornherald makes him fit in no where -- even other DKs don't like him. The one DK still loyal to the LK hates Haken, so he can't fit in even there. I don't really want to change him, since then he wouldn't be Haken.

I need to make some other plans for RP tonight. I suspect poor Grr feels like I'm stalking him on Keen. (We've RPed most every night the past couple nights.) I don't even really know the guy, I don't want to scare him away or burn him out on RPing with me/Keen. (Especially since I suspect Keen is hard to RP with long term. Sigh. Stalked and raped multiple times and recovering from a deadly "drug" addiction doesn't make for a calm, laid back character. Some woman tossed an empty bottle at him last night and he nearly jumped out of his skin, then Grr offered him something to calm him down and he flailed.)

I worry so much about being needy in RP. I want people to have fun RPing with me, not have me be a drain on things!

I need to come up with a personality for Clover, I think. Crowfeathers didn't work out at all (he was a "nice guy", a good guy, but that ended up being boring as hell). Heck, or maybe I should RP Thistle again, I've RPed him a grand total of twice.

-------

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thistlechaser: (Cat nose)
Sometimes I post multiple times a day, then sometimes somehow a whole week slips by without a post. In the last week I've written multiple posts in my head, but often I never get them typed out.

A few nights ago I had a bad dream about my dead cat. I used to love dreaming, decades ago I trained myself to remember them every night, and now for the first time I'm starting to regret that. I don't have bad dreams about her ever night, but that they're random is almost worse -- I never know when one is coming. In this latest one I was traveling with her dead body (ugh, why??) in a normal cat carrying case through an airport. A group of guys tried to steal my backpack, and while getting it back the carrying case was stolen. I was crying because what an awful person I was to lose my cat's poor dead body. Then, worse(?), I found it all wrapped up in fabric around her middle. (Man, and just typing this out has me crying again.) I wish my brain would get over this! It's only during, after, or remembering the dreams that makes me upset, I don't cry over it (or honestly think much or relive it) in my day to day life. Stupid brain, please let this go. I know it's not my fault, I did all I could, I spent as much money as was needed, I made the best decisions I could, please let this go.

In less morbid news, I'm leveling a new character in WoW. I hate leveling, I totally didn't intend to, but I got a name freed as a replacement bank alt. The problem with my current bank alt (in addition to the name), is that he's low level, thus paying too much money in vendor prices. If I level him, I can work on rep, get flying, and have extra profession slots! Because yes, I do need alchemist #7.

RP is going okay. I lost all the regulars I used to RP with, which sucks somewhat, but I'm meeting new people and trying go build new circles. It always surprises me (though it shouldn't) that meeting people online can be as hard as doing it RL. Online feels like my "natural" environment, it should be easier to meet people. (Though that all my onlineness is taking place on WoW does make it harder.)

Still not done reading Dance with Dragons, have about 10% left to go. It has good chapters and bad, but that I don't care about one big plot point (the biggest plot in the book) makes things a little more meh for me. I've skimmed two or three chapters so far and every time we come back to this plot I'm tempted to do it again.

Hopefully it won't be another week until I post again! Oh hey, in a few days it will by my 9 year anniversary on LJ.
thistlechaser: (Smiling Thistle (old))
Long, long ago, I was into Disney. I fell in love with the Lion King movie and I was collecting everything Disney I could get my hands on. Even wacky things, like the books auction houses gave out when holding Disney auctions and the Disney annual stockholders books.

I spent tons of money through eBay, and one of the things I bought were those stockholder books. Then someone gave me a clue: If you buy even one single Disney stock, you'd get that book free forever! So I did. One stock hadn't cost much ($25? $50?), and every year I got wonderful book after wonderful book, full of art you'd see no place else.

Even now, when I'm not into Disney so much anymore, I still enjoyed looking through those glossy pages.

This year's book? Black and white. Plain (newspaper quality) paper. Not one single picture in it. It's so depressing and boring! I hope they go back to pretty, color, glossy books when the economy recovers.

Also I was debating posting about this earlier, I didn't think it merited its own post, but I can tack it on to this one. [livejournal.com profile] voidmagus, would you please stop setting me up to be raped by a child molester in my dreams? )
thistlechaser: (Smiling Thistle (old))
Long, long ago, I was into Disney. I fell in love with the Lion King movie and I was collecting everything Disney I could get my hands on. Even wacky things, like the books auction houses gave out when holding Disney auctions and the Disney annual stockholders books.

I spent tons of money through eBay, and one of the things I bought were those stockholder books. Then someone gave me a clue: If you buy even one single Disney stock, you'd get that book free forever! So I did. One stock hadn't cost much ($25? $50?), and every year I got wonderful book after wonderful book, full of art you'd see no place else.

Even now, when I'm not into Disney so much anymore, I still enjoyed looking through those glossy pages.

This year's book? Black and white. Plain (newspaper quality) paper. Not one single picture in it. It's so depressing and boring! I hope they go back to pretty, color, glossy books when the economy recovers.

Also I was debating posting about this earlier, I didn't think it merited its own post, but I can tack it on to this one. [livejournal.com profile] voidmagus, would you please stop setting me up to be raped by a child molester in my dreams? )
thistlechaser: (Default)
Sometimes it seems the worst part of stress dreams are how unoriginal they are. The night before last I had a dream that I decided to go back and finish high school because a college degree was important so I wanted to go. (WTF brain, I HAVE a college degree already!) So I signed up for high school... then couldn't remember how to get to the school. Then when I finally got there, I lost my schedule so I didn't know which classes to go to. Someone told me, then I couldn't find the classroom. All that was needed to make it 100% cliche was for me to find the class and end up having forgotten to put pants on.

Last night I had a dream that the world was ending. Often that situation wouldn't make for a bad dream, but in this case it did. I somehow found the last few humans, and then POOF, they all just disappeared when I blinked my eyes, leaving me alone with a bunch of mutant animals that were all fleeing in the same direction from Something Horrible. I stuck around to look for the other humans instead of fleeing as well. (WTF?)

I'm starting to think I have to rethink my Just Say No policy to drugs. I can't even count how many years I've been sleeping badly. Waking up every couple hours and taking hours to fall back to sleep, sleeping so lightly my heartbeat wakes me up. (Seriously, this morning I keep hearing some sort of knocking/pounding sound, it would startle me awake and then I'd realize it was my heartbeat.) I'm tired of never getting enough sleep. A good night is four or five hours of sleep. So very tired. The idea of drugs scares me though. I worry about taking anything I could get addicted to, or something that would make me sleep deeply enough that I'd miss someone shouting about a fire or breaking in or something. (Yeah, I have a smoke detector, but a couple years back the other end of the apartment complex was on fire and someone came around banging on bedroom windows to wake people up.)

Blah. *tired stress puppy*
thistlechaser: (Default)
Sometimes it seems the worst part of stress dreams are how unoriginal they are. The night before last I had a dream that I decided to go back and finish high school because a college degree was important so I wanted to go. (WTF brain, I HAVE a college degree already!) So I signed up for high school... then couldn't remember how to get to the school. Then when I finally got there, I lost my schedule so I didn't know which classes to go to. Someone told me, then I couldn't find the classroom. All that was needed to make it 100% cliche was for me to find the class and end up having forgotten to put pants on.

Last night I had a dream that the world was ending. Often that situation wouldn't make for a bad dream, but in this case it did. I somehow found the last few humans, and then POOF, they all just disappeared when I blinked my eyes, leaving me alone with a bunch of mutant animals that were all fleeing in the same direction from Something Horrible. I stuck around to look for the other humans instead of fleeing as well. (WTF?)

I'm starting to think I have to rethink my Just Say No policy to drugs. I can't even count how many years I've been sleeping badly. Waking up every couple hours and taking hours to fall back to sleep, sleeping so lightly my heartbeat wakes me up. (Seriously, this morning I keep hearing some sort of knocking/pounding sound, it would startle me awake and then I'd realize it was my heartbeat.) I'm tired of never getting enough sleep. A good night is four or five hours of sleep. So very tired. The idea of drugs scares me though. I worry about taking anything I could get addicted to, or something that would make me sleep deeply enough that I'd miss someone shouting about a fire or breaking in or something. (Yeah, I have a smoke detector, but a couple years back the other end of the apartment complex was on fire and someone came around banging on bedroom windows to wake people up.)

Blah. *tired stress puppy*
thistlechaser: (Men hugging)
For some odd reason, I've been dreaming about WoW a lot lately. I'm doing almost nothing on the game, just standing in Dal for hours on end, so no idea why I'm suddenly dreaming about it nightly. Most of the dreams are nothing major, but tonight's was really rather yummy and exciting.

PvP in WoW... come to life in a most exciting way )

An interesting thing this dream brings up is that I'm never RL me in my dreams -- I've not seen myself as "me" in my dreams for many many years, I always look like FFXI Thistle. It should seem strange that I picture myself as a short, young, oriental man, but it doesn't.
thistlechaser: (Men hugging)
For some odd reason, I've been dreaming about WoW a lot lately. I'm doing almost nothing on the game, just standing in Dal for hours on end, so no idea why I'm suddenly dreaming about it nightly. Most of the dreams are nothing major, but tonight's was really rather yummy and exciting.

PvP in WoW... come to life in a most exciting way )

An interesting thing this dream brings up is that I'm never RL me in my dreams -- I've not seen myself as "me" in my dreams for many many years, I always look like FFXI Thistle. It should seem strange that I picture myself as a short, young, oriental man, but it doesn't.

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