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Sometimes it's so hard to live with myself. I've gotten five hours or less of sleep every night this week. I am tired. I am very very tired. Yet I snap wide awake way before my alarm goes off.
Two mornings ago I was awake and ready to get up 20 minutes before it went off. Yesterday morning it was 30 minutes. This morning it was 40 minutes early. 20/30/40 minutes might not seem like much of a loss, but when you're only getting five hours it makes a big difference!
The second I even drift towards lighter sleep, my brain snaps online. "WAKE UP! TIME TO WAKE UP! You have TWO! Not one, but TWO projects you have to do at work! And all the online stuff you have to do! And you've not checked your email in TWELVE HOURS! WAKE UP! And think of all the online stuff you never have time for! If you weren't sleeping you could do it now! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! *bounce*bounce*bounce*"
I wish I could sedate my brain, or perhaps just beat it with something heavy.
The other example of this is FFXI-related. In real life, I don't have any problems with money. I never do the 'I know I have credit card bills, but I really want X so I'll get it!'. I'm responsible. I make plans and stick to them. So why the heck can't I do that in-game?
My plan was a good one: Buy the thick HQ pieces first (about a million each), then deal with getting the HQ haub (14-15 million). But... *bounce*bounce*bounce* There was one at the AH last night! And I almost never see them listed! And I wanted it! Real bad! So after asecond moment of thought, I bid every single gil I had. Luckily I didn't get it, because the idea of having 0 gil scares me. But boy, did I want it so badly... And the thing is, I can't kid myself. I'd bid for it again before I get the thick stuff. I want it. I just want it so much! It's not reasonable, it's not logical, I just do.
Two mornings ago I was awake and ready to get up 20 minutes before it went off. Yesterday morning it was 30 minutes. This morning it was 40 minutes early. 20/30/40 minutes might not seem like much of a loss, but when you're only getting five hours it makes a big difference!
The second I even drift towards lighter sleep, my brain snaps online. "WAKE UP! TIME TO WAKE UP! You have TWO! Not one, but TWO projects you have to do at work! And all the online stuff you have to do! And you've not checked your email in TWELVE HOURS! WAKE UP! And think of all the online stuff you never have time for! If you weren't sleeping you could do it now! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! *bounce*bounce*bounce*"
I wish I could sedate my brain, or perhaps just beat it with something heavy.
The other example of this is FFXI-related. In real life, I don't have any problems with money. I never do the 'I know I have credit card bills, but I really want X so I'll get it!'. I'm responsible. I make plans and stick to them. So why the heck can't I do that in-game?
My plan was a good one: Buy the thick HQ pieces first (about a million each), then deal with getting the HQ haub (14-15 million). But... *bounce*bounce*bounce* There was one at the AH last night! And I almost never see them listed! And I wanted it! Real bad! So after a
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