A Prostitute's Feelings During Sex

[thistlechaser]

It's the oddest feeling when something that should be full of strong emotion is totally and utterly empty. Slightly bitter, but that's mild. Somewhat sad now that it's over with.

I did a RP scene tonight, one mentioned a few entries down in my LJ. The PC changed her mind on what to do with Tommy, and so we RPed the new ending out. However, since we had days ago decided the NPC's ending, I had already settled in my heart and mind Tommy's fate. Even so, while driving home tonight, I figured I'd get upset by the scene, probably cry. Nothing happened. I just went through the motions, felt almost nothing at all. One little twinge at one point, but that was more over sadness that this ending was a second one and not the "real" one in my mind.

(All, you non-MUSH folks reading this must think I'm wacky. I mean, I'm not saying I'm not wacky, but...)

To the PC who was mentioned above, I'll repeat what I said on the MUSH: I'm not blaming you for this, it's just a (bad|sad) situation. Last night I said bad, today I say sad. Either way, it's over and done with. Dead is dead is dead. (No more changing your mind now! ;) )

I was going to write about other things tonight, the lack of the sun and winter coming and all these odd California autumn changes, but eh. I need to do something to shake off the blahs. For two or three days now, I'm just blah. Eh. Blech. Uninterested in stuff. Feeling dull, down. Vaguely emotionless (if that phrase makes sense). Oh well, the weekend is coming. Maybe that'll do it.

Comments

Tonight

[evilgrayson.livejournal.com]

You may not have been crying, but I was. Thanks so much for the scene...

Re: Tonight

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

You people and your speedy-comment-leaving are freakng me out. :) Makes it hard to maintain the illusion that no one actually reads my entries.

I'm glad the scene worked for you! :)