How The War Was Won: A Naruto Drabble

[thistlechaser]

By way of the Mad-Libs drabble maker, it's a tale of love (Orochimaru/Ebisu), loss, and the final defeat of Orochimaru.

--

Ebisu and Orochimaru were out for a dirty Valentine's walk near a mountain. As they went, Orochimaru rested his hand on Ebisu's hair. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so itchy, Ebisu was filled with moist dread.

"Do you suppose it's fast here?" he asked longingly.

"You tasty salty," Orochimaru said, tickling Ebisu with his banana. "It's completely painful."

Just then, a bloody dingo leapt out from behind a dinosaur and licked Orochimaru in the nose. "Aaargh!" Orochimaru screamed.

Things looked slimy. But Ebisu, although he was feline, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a sword and, as smug as a bug in a rug, beat the dingo sensually until it ran off. "That will teach you to lick innocent people."

Then he clasped Orochimaru close. Orochimaru was bleeding hotly. "My darling," Ebisu said, and pressed his lips to Orochimaru's ass.

"I love you," Orochimaru said breathlessly, and expired in Ebisu's arms.

Ebisu never loved again.

---

Man, this made my morning! I love the idea of Orochimaru screaming over being licked by a dingo, and Ebisu beating it "sensually" made me fall over! Pervert indeed!

Last night I had a giant post written, but stupid IE crashed for no reason and I lost it. Then IE crashed twice this morning when I wasn't even touching the keyboard! I think something strange is going on...

Edit: Wow, PoT 105 was really good (other than the too-fast resolution of his issue). It's the first ep I enjoyed in a while.

Edit2: *laughs* Ack! Naked Momo in the promo for 106! I foresee a lot of gay in 106! Hee.

Comments

[morinotokei.livejournal.com]

~dies laughing~ I love that drabble site. I could literally spend hours there.

Eek, I hope nothing too serious is going on with your computer.

I need to watch 105 already. It's the only episode I haven't seen yet, as I've seen the raws for the rest of them. There is so. much. gay. in 106. Like, literally rainbows and sparkle gay. With nakedness. >_>

Re:

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Eek, I hope nothing too serious is going on with your computer.

My computer's been having problems since the day I bought it. "Serous" would be if it ever worked right! Heh.

I need to watch 105 already.

I liked 105 a lot, but I won't tell you why so as not to spoil you. It's just too bad they handled it the way they did -- it could have meant character growth if they hadn't.

Hee! I can't wait to see 106! I haven't even seen the raw for it yet.

Heh, I love this thing.

[quasilemur.livejournal.com]

To Breathily Defenestrate

Wolfwood and Millie were celebrating an ample Valentine's Day together. Wolfwood had cooked a purple dinner and they ate in a fit of pique by candlelight.

"My darling," Millie said, stroking Wolfwood's head, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Wolfwood. "It is but a sweaty token of my obscene love."

Wolfwood opened the box. Inside was a spongy truncheon! He gazed at it stupidly. Then he gazed at Millie stupidly. "It's funereal," Wolfwood said. "Come here and let me defenestrate you."

Just then, a splendid crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a kitten tied to a stick, and driven into. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a saucy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Millie read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other gaily as the crone cackled some more. Wolfwood's clavicle began to tremble. Then Millie shrugged, pulled out a watermelon, and hit the crone on her knee. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Wolfwood said and kissed Millie deftly. "This is a malformed Valentine's Day!"

They sexily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they defenestrated each other all night long.

Re: Heh, I love this thing.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

"It's funereal," Wolfwood said. "Come here and let me defenestrate you."

*snicker*

[gconnor.livejournal.com]

Speaking of dingos, M and I bought and watched Lion King 1 1/2. It's all about Timon and Pumba but we get to see the three hyenas again including Ed, Whoopi, and whatshisname.

Ed didn't have any lines I don't think, but it was still kind of worth it in a silly way.

Re:

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the info! It's semi-on my list of things to watch -- if I come across it I'll probably grab a copy, but I'm not going to hunt it down.