Dude, just, like, /chill/.

[thistlechaser]

FFXI and potentially TMI RL stuff (behind the cut).

It's only on days like today that I realize how much energy-output I need to maintain FFXI Thistle's voice. I left a little comment in yshyn's LJ, and after it I was like "Dude... this is just too much work". Everything about him is breathless, leaning-forward-in-my-chair, hyper two-year old on a sugar high. "*bouncie*bouncie*bouncie* Yeah! Yeah! I think that'd be a great idea! So you should do it! Then everyone would be happy! Cause it's good to be happy! I like being happy! *pouncetacklesnug*" On mornings like this I just want to slap that voice around, tie it to a chair, and keep all sources of caffeine and sugar far, far away.

I really don't understand what train farmers are thinking. While farming in the Canyon last night, I came across a BLM 75 who was train farming. Luckily I can one-shot most everything there, so I followed him and kept reducing his trains to one mob. It didn't take him long at all to get pissed at me. He stopped, checked me, made rude comments, /slap'ed me, etc. I never once responded, not with words or /emotes. I just kept following him and killing from his train. (We were both farming the same things, so it's not like killing this way was any skin off my nose.)

Non-players: The way the game is set up, a person (or a party) can only "own" (claim) one monster at a time. The name on it turns to a different color, and no one else can attack it. Train farmers go and get a whole bunch of mobs to follow them and kill them all at once with one big spell. It is highly, highly, highly rude. There's nothing like running through an area, trying to farm, and have it be empty.

So even though I never said anything back to the idiot BLM, the whole issue just made my night worse. I don't like fighting with people. Other people are 100% free to farm in the Canyon... so long as they don't train farm. I really wish we could all just live and let live. (This morning I was thinking that lower level people might think that since I can kill things so fast that I am rude for farming there... but IMO that can't be valid. The game IS set up to allow anyone to claim a mob, no matter what level difference there is. The game ISN'T set up to allow people to claim a train. I'm working within the rules. But am I being rude? I suspect anyone lower level would think anyone higher level is rude, and anyone of those higher level people would think they're not?)

That, followed by LS drama, didn't make for a fun night. I'm going to explain this as vaguely as possible and mention no names. I'm not intending to draw any drama out or move it here. Everyone has a right to their own opinions. This one is mine. Make sure you read the notes at the end, as they explain important stuff.

History repeats itself. We had all been happy on a LS, but eventually there got to be too many idiots (half the membership or more), so the "good people" moved to a new LS. I tried very hard to stop that shifting-towards-idiots change on the original LS, but I eventually failed and we had to leave. I strongly worry that same thing is happening on this new LS. In my opinion, the "Open door, EVERYONE is welcome!" policy is equal to doom for a LS. Period. End of story. There has to be a filter to keep idiots out. New members should be known and recommended by multiple current and active members -- members whose opinions can be trusted. Otherwise the same thing will happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually we'll get too many idiots to deal with, and the current LS will go back to being as dead as it was before we moved here.

So last night I butted heads over this with someone whose opinions I otherwise usually respect. I just boggle at this person's unwillingness to see the results of "Open door, EVERYONE is welcome!". We did NOT leave the first LS because I was "stubborn and unwilling to get along with one or two people" (I believe that's the exact quote). As you might have noticed, I was not the only one who left that first LS. And this will happen again, once the same situation finally fully develops. You can refuse to see it all you like, and I'll be very sad when it happens, but it will. History repeats itself.

I hate fighting with people, and just way too much of it happened last night. I just have to stop caring about things. The LS isn't mine to protect. It will survive or it will fall independent of me. ...I just have a hard time not caring. :(

Important notes:

1) While this LS issue came to a head about one person, I no longer have an issue with that person. Other powers-that-be talked to that one person, and I trust their opinions enough to be okay with the decision. It's the policy that I'm upset about. The policy and the utter refusal to see what that policy will bring about.

2) In case you haven't noticed, I use the term "idiot" very loosely. Basically "idiot" can mean anything from someone I don't like, someone who uses "lol" all the time, someone I disagree with, someone who is stupid -- any number of sins. But it doesn't necessarily mean someone is "stupid". There are some very smart (or nice, or whatever) people left on the original LS. And not everyone left on the original LS is an idiot, either! There are a few people I like who remained there instead of making the move with us.

3) Yes, I know the person who I butted heads with is reading this now. I did not name any names on purpose. I am NOT trying to get people to gang up on anyone. I am not trying to prolong fights or anything like that. You are welcome to your opinion just as I am welcome to mine. You're a nice, fun person. We just strongly disagree on this, and I need to vent about it.




My damned period started. On one hand, at least that means my breasts will stop hurting and my face will stop breaking out (why the heck do adults get pimples?! Makes me feel like a teenager!), on the other hand... gah. So so so annoying. I've gotten so little sleep already this week, and my period just exhausts me. I need to pee really badly, but I'm too tired to get out of my chair and walk to the bathroom.

I know I say this every month, but I hate periods so much. I hate the unfairness of them, too. Why is it that only women have to spend several days every single month feeling like this? Last night the pain of my cramps was so bad they woke me out of a sound sleep and kept me up for hours. Why can't men have to deal with it, too?

I don't like hating anyone, but at times like this I could easily hate all men. And myself. Stupid body.

Comments

..........

[philia.livejournal.com]

Wow. I leave, stuff happens. o.o;

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

To be bluntly honest, I think I hit the nail on the head last night when I told you to stop "gag-reflexing" for a moment. The 'gag-reflex' (whether regarding people or medically) isn't always a bad thing, it's there to protect you, but you need to stop letting it throttle your brain for a few seconds and think through why you're getting the reaction. Personally, I get the reflex first thing in the morning when I brush my teeth, but that doesn't mean I'm going to not brush my teeth, y'know? I have to control it and get the task done.

You can't dislike everyone who shows an interest just because you instintively dislike everyone. I, personally, agreed with your reflex on this and threw a few monkey wrenches into the works until we (we being Sylf, Nif, and me) had a chance to speak with the person in question and each other for a couple hours, thus establishing his intentions and what he expects from the shell.

I sincerely hope you'll decide to give him a chance, especially since he's in a position to help you greatly if you do. Part of his 'interviewing' last night was to establish where he was in missions and, guess what, he's where you are in Zilart and would like to find people to do it with. You're at a level now that ZM4 is do-able. It'll be challenging, but it's within your ability. You could take people like Cehra, Yosa, yourself, hmmm? I'm not going to toss you nose first into the new guy, but I'd've been a lot less inclined to let him in if he wasn't willing to contribute postively to the community. Let him contribute without making him miserable!

And the "Everyone is Welcome" is definitely not the case, btw. I've butted heads against some other shell leaders about this because I adamantly refuse to let some people in. Nor will people from other shells be let in with a "free pass, rubber stamp" like they might have been in the past. (One person who used to stalk me was admitted to our sister shell, which killed the "free pass" if it wasn't dead already.)

And just because you don't let everyone into your home doesn't mean you don't have a welcome mat at the doorstep. If someone comes up to our door, I'm not going to punch him because had the gall to hit the doorbell. That's why we talk to them and establish what their interests are before letting them in or turning them away.

Re: ..........

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yes! I missed having someone to grump at by /tell! :D

And by the way, do you still need coeurl whiskers? I got three stacks of them last night.

[philia.livejournal.com]

(One person who used to stalk me was admitted to our sister shell, which killed the "free pass" if it wasn't dead already.)

.... I definitely missed this, somewhere down the line. Not comfortable, in any case.

Regardless, since I missed everything here, including the introduction of this new person, I really can't judge them one way or another. However, if folks talked to them, and amongst themselves and see that he has the potential to not only contribute, but fit in (which is a really bad term...) without grating on everyone's nerves, then its fine by me. Just in looking at levels alone, he's not wet behind the ears. Sure, there is the obvious that he would need help with things that we could give, but there's also the fact that he could help us out a great deal. Especially Beanie-chan, who's got /far/ too much on her plate, lately.

Re: ..........

[philia.livejournal.com]

Uhm. Lemme think on the coeurl whiskers. I suppose I could try that mega pump recipe again, but. :3 I'll give my answer in game.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I agree with everything in that comment. The person I butted heads with last night asked me something like "How can you know this new person is bad?" To which I responded "That's exactly the point. He could be the most wonderful person in the world or he could be a monster, we don't know anything about him, so we can't know."

All new people aren't bad. Any group needs new people to survive. But inviting unknown new people in is bad (in my opinion). I'm all for getting to know people who want to join. Ai had suggested this new guy come on Promy runs to get to know people, and that was a fine suggestion. Or have them come to Eco a few times so we can see what they're like. Just getting to know people a little before we invite them in and try to make them family, that's all I ask. (And what you said as well, I agree.)

I know I do tend to have a "guilty until proven innocent" mindset on new people, but usually I keep it under wraps better. Last night was a breaking point though. We got... two? new people the day before (with the promise of another new person when he gets the game installed), plus last night's totally unknown new person being welcomed with open arms. In my opinion, that's an awful lot of new people at once. Will they acclimate themselves to the LS, or will that number of new people force the LS to adjust to their ways? (Notice the return of "let's beat jokes into the ground!" that CTY had? What the hell is this unending "cowbell" joke that people Will Not Drop?)

I sincerely hope you'll decide to give him a chance, especially since he's in a position to help you greatly if you do.

Will do, though not because he has the potential to help me. Maybe not tonight (because I just cannot deal with more stuff today), but at the least I'll be quiet and just ignore everything. Once I'm feeling better I'll pounce him or something. Maybe he'll be delightfully homophobic. ;)

Re: ..........

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

No problem if you want to go another skill path or don't want to skill right now. If you decide you don't want them, I'll just drop them onto the AH. :)

[yshyn.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to say there are no problems and everyone should be let in regardless... BUT... bear in mind:

If it wasn't for the kindness of people who didn't know me, I wouldn't have gotten into CtY. The only person who was familiar with anyone was Zee, who knew Auri et al from M**s. I was completely out of my depth and didn't know anyone.

Although I did turn out later that I was aware of Beanie through her writing, and I was entirely too embarrassed to squee and gush over her as I was inclined to.

[philia.livejournal.com]

We got... two? new people the day before (with the promise of another new person when he gets the game installed), plus last night's totally unknown new person being welcomed with open arms.

Thing is, some of these folks aren't unknown. At least from what I've seen with some others on the shell. They're just unknown to you. :3 At least the two earlier are known by several of the older folks (Beanie, Nif, Anko, Sylf...) and are simply either before our time, or have been on other servers. It would be like you bringing a personal friend on, and me saying, 'Fuck you, get off!' in response. Hardly fair, but emotion usually isn't. X3

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

But see, at least someone DID know you, and someone whose opinion we trusted. I'm sure there are lots of unknown people out there who would fight right in with us, but the problem is like you said: You can't let everyone in and only then find out they don't fit.

One of the new people (Winery? Something like that) kept saying things like "Just let him in and you can break the pearl later if that person doesn't fit in" and I'm sitting there boggling. That's an exact example of the problem! Winery was so new that she did not know that we almost never break pearls... and she was trying to comment on a new person issue.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's true. What is this place they're all known from? Some pre-FFXI game? Or beta?

[yshyn.livejournal.com]

The only person who knew me was Zee, and she and I were both equally new. Auri handed me a pearl based on the fact that I was Zee's friend (I assume). Big risk considering I'd never played on a MMORPG at that point and I wasn't even level 5 at that point.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Oops, looks like I replied to your comment too fast and you deleted it to edit it. :P Here's my reply again. LJ is odd, and made it look like you're a "screened" person... o.O

But see, at least someone DID know you, and someone whose opinion we trusted. I'm sure there are lots of unknown people out there who would fight right in with us, but the problem is like you said: You can't let everyone in and only then find out they don't fit.

One of the new people (Winery? Something like that) kept saying things like "Just let him in and you can break the pearl later if that person doesn't fit in" and I'm sitting there boggling. That's an exact example of the problem! Winery was so new that she did not know that we almost never break pearls... and she was trying to comment on a new person issue.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure how big of a risk that was. Who of us had played on a MMORPG before this one? Not me, not Aurian, not Ead or Draque (I think). For our whole circle of people, this is the first MMORPG.

And if I had to pick some random person who never played a MMORPG before, a MUSHer is so totally who I would pick. :)

[philia.livejournal.com]

That... you'd have to ask Beanie and crew. I know it was mentioned, particularly with Wineri and the person yet to come, but I forget. ;_; Kyla was on FI before, and took a year break. @_@

[philia.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'd played Phantasy Star Online before this. But it wasn't this... immersive. @_@; Nor did it have even half the capabilities.

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

We got... two? new people the day before (with the promise of another new person when he gets the game installed),

Unfortunately that part is unfair to you because RI people all know Seril/Wineri and the new person coming and have known them for years, so it doesn't click with us :/ That happens when a community transitions from one forum to another. Tyson is the only recent new person, but I fully realize that isn't the case for half the people on the shell ^^; It's a bit overwhelming, but we'll work through it.

I know that in the past FI has rotated through "open" and "closed" recruiting and we've held RI people to that if they decided to start playing while we were in a "closed" period. I don't think we need to go into "closed" at the moment, but if we get one more new person, I'll be bouncing the idea off Nif.

I'll pounce him or something. Maybe he'll be delightfully homophobic. ;)

I didn't check him out on that score for you ;) But I did find him to be socialable and open to suggestions. He's been butting his head up against the Maat MNK fight, so I gave him the strategy I used to win.

He's going to come to the Promyvions on Saturday (I'm sad that I can't lend a paw to those.. but too busy =/ ) He needs Holla and Mea and wants to go farming for Recollections, so that's all good. Told him about Eco-Warrior. I also pearled him for ShadowBane, though not as an FI member (I won't introduce him to Ryu that way, not yet at least). But I was charged with finding people who weren't nuckwits who met the requirements she gave me and he qualified. So hopefully more of us will get to feel him out and see how he follows the tail on Saturday. (Especially since he'll likely end up in the same alliance I do.)

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

Seril/Wineri is from RandomInsanity ( http://www.randominsanity.org/ ), which is the online forum Nif, Sylf, Anko, Jaide, Anoat, Moriggan, me (oh geez, there might be others that I'm forgetting ; ; ) all came from. When FFXI started in the US, we all got on the same server and Nif bought us a Linkpearl. And then we started making friends and pearling them and you see how it's grown ^^

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

Oh! Just to add a little more. RI was based off of a group of friends from FFO. Zubis and.. one other person who's name I can't remember well enough to spell it.. she's the Bard on Phoenix.. is from the FFO community that's the "parent" of the RI communit that's the parent of the FI community. We're like a family bush o.o We could call him Uncle Zubis! :D

[sylf.livejournal.com]

The reason that I reacted so harshly (yes, the person Thistle was speaking to was me) was because you have an *EXTREME* disapproval of ANYONE new in the shell, or anyone that you think is even remotely new (at least to you). And I felt that it was uncalled for to speak so harshly about a person that you didn't know anything about (positive *or* negative) - or at the very least didn't appear to have known anything about.

What I don't understand is why such a significant portion of the shell is so xenophobic. There *are* a lot of idiots out there, but there are just as many *good* people. We *don't* let everyone into the shell (see WindurstAlliance for a lovely example of how well that idea went - I was there firsthand and experienced it). Yes, there have been mistakes in the past on FI and CTY, but for the most part the people *we* let in (the administrators of FI, including myself) are good people.

And I don't want you to think that I made this decision on a whim. Before you confronted me, I did some investigation on what people thought of the person in general, and all I received were positive remarks. He's helpful, friendly, and a few people are kinda sad to see him leave to come over here... so that right away tells me he's a good person.

I'm a firm believer that people are good until they prove themselves not to be. Yes, that means that I'm going to get fooled along the way and end up with a few bad seeds. So I'll uproot them. I think that's a *much* better alternative than your perspective, which is to dig up the garden and not let anyone join the crew for better or for worse. We're a close group, but there's no reason that we can't let people in to share the fun with.

So you've got to trust my judgment, I guess. I'm not trying to do things that are bad for the shell. This place is my home and I want people to be happy and have a good time - both people that are already here and prospective newcomers. But I really look down upon the kind of behaviour that you're showing towards new members. I don't want our shell to appear elitist. I just want everyone to be able to have fun. That's why we're playing the game in the end.

I know we disagree on this, but I hope I made it clear where I'm coming from.

[niffy.livejournal.com]

It's Random Insanity. It's a community of fanfic writers, mostly, who play a game called Survivor (http://www.taikaiwiki.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page). There are a lot of people in that community (about as many as in FI and CTY) who either love or hate FFXI. >.> When one of them comes in, it's because at least five or six of us already know them.

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

OMG, you've read my stories too? [dies] Zee pinned me down one day, but I didn't realize you'd read them too [dies again]

[niffy.livejournal.com]

Beanie is fast. =(

I think Zubis also went to LMDS, which is where Tharpy's mostly from. I could be thinking of another Savage Genesis, though. o.o

Re: ..........

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

I want a fish tank ._. [holds out her paws] Lunchbox plz!

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I knew Tharpy was in the family bush somewhere, but I couldn't remember on which branch. Mori is technically more from LMDS too, though I like to claim her for our own evil purposes (mwahaha).