World-shaking changes (FFXI, RP, RL?)
Jan. 8th, 2009 09:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thistlechaserThe oddest thing has happened, and I can only be glad it was an IC event and not RL.
For more than two years now, I've believed "Immortals are evil" as confidently as I believed in gravity, that we need air to stay alive, etc. A basic foundation-truth of the world. It's been RPed by me for at least that long, and I believed it OOCly as well as ICly.
In doing BLU AF quests, I've learned that I was wrong. In my head I now know that Immortals are not evil, but I have no idea how to change how I feel. I mean, I don't feel like I should change how I feel. (Imagine trying to suddenly feel like something will fall up when you drop it. How do you merge that into your knowledge of how the world works?) It's the oddest thing, feeling like basic reality has changed.
Worst part of this is, I still have to RP Thistle as feeling like they're literally evil -- evil formed into human shape, nothing more than that. (Me leveling BLU/doing the quests is not IC for MUX Thistle or for FFXI Thistle.)
I can't imagine how someone deals with this RL. If they hate blacks/gays/whatever and then finally learn that they're just people living their lives, too. It's very very odd, but it's kind of cool, too. I had no idea this sort of feeling even existed! It's almost physical, I can feel it in my stomach.
---
FFXI update: Such busy, busy days. Yesterday I got BLU to 50, and so had to make my way to the Navukgo Execution Chamber to do my AF feed BC. Yay for Cy, she gave me good directions on getting there! The fight was easy as pie. Trip: Not fun, but I made it.
Today I got @1K to 52. (Besieged is about to hit, will give me my last 1K unless I crash.) Yay being able to wear the AF feet I just got! (Edit: Yay boots! Got 52!)
Damask: Got his glasses, yay! I really, really, really need to get back to skilling on him. I have 125 unstackable items waiting for him to skill (level 88), and he's 73 now. :/ Problem is the lack of spider webs. He needs hundreds of them, but I can't even catch one at the AH (I strongly suspect AH bots grabbing them). I suppose I should try farming for them, but... no time. I have no idea how I'm going to get around this.
I have all my BLU spells up to 50, but need to go hunting for the 52/54 ones.
Best of all: I almost capped my blue magic skill! (That's important, learning spells is based on that.) Edit: Capped in Besieged, yay!
Fields of Valor in Xarc suck ass. "Hello, little one. You want the easiest one? Okay! Please go kill 9 bones and 3 ghosts. Oh, and hey, do it in the middle of a ton of undead! Mind you, these can't be TW mobs! Don't let your HP fall into the yellow, teehee!" I came so close to dying many, many times in my one single training page there. Never going back again.
Last night was ZNM night, but we only got one of the two done. Chamrosh. We ran out of time for V-whoever (bones), so will do that next week. Everyone got the capes/earrings they wanted though, so yay.
Tomorrow is an off night, so I'll probably do more BLU. Wish I was 75 so I could take a break. zzz Make Damask 100 while I'm wishing for things? zzzz Hell, I guess a better wish would be that I would stop getting so fixated on things.
Hopefully Saturday will get some RP. I'll have a scene with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xvolph if I can get onto the MUX early enough. That should be highly amusing, since Thistle thinks her character is an Immortal~ XD
(Edit: WARNING! There are ToAU mission spoilers in the comments! Early-ish missions, but if you've done none of them and don't want to be spoiled, take care.)
For more than two years now, I've believed "Immortals are evil" as confidently as I believed in gravity, that we need air to stay alive, etc. A basic foundation-truth of the world. It's been RPed by me for at least that long, and I believed it OOCly as well as ICly.
In doing BLU AF quests, I've learned that I was wrong. In my head I now know that Immortals are not evil, but I have no idea how to change how I feel. I mean, I don't feel like I should change how I feel. (Imagine trying to suddenly feel like something will fall up when you drop it. How do you merge that into your knowledge of how the world works?) It's the oddest thing, feeling like basic reality has changed.
Worst part of this is, I still have to RP Thistle as feeling like they're literally evil -- evil formed into human shape, nothing more than that. (Me leveling BLU/doing the quests is not IC for MUX Thistle or for FFXI Thistle.)
I can't imagine how someone deals with this RL. If they hate blacks/gays/whatever and then finally learn that they're just people living their lives, too. It's very very odd, but it's kind of cool, too. I had no idea this sort of feeling even existed! It's almost physical, I can feel it in my stomach.
---
FFXI update: Such busy, busy days. Yesterday I got BLU to 50, and so had to make my way to the Navukgo Execution Chamber to do my AF feed BC. Yay for Cy, she gave me good directions on getting there! The fight was easy as pie. Trip: Not fun, but I made it.
Today I got @1K to 52. (Besieged is about to hit, will give me my last 1K unless I crash.) Yay being able to wear the AF feet I just got! (Edit: Yay boots! Got 52!)
Damask: Got his glasses, yay! I really, really, really need to get back to skilling on him. I have 125 unstackable items waiting for him to skill (level 88), and he's 73 now. :/ Problem is the lack of spider webs. He needs hundreds of them, but I can't even catch one at the AH (I strongly suspect AH bots grabbing them). I suppose I should try farming for them, but... no time. I have no idea how I'm going to get around this.
I have all my BLU spells up to 50, but need to go hunting for the 52/54 ones.
Best of all: I almost capped my blue magic skill! (That's important, learning spells is based on that.) Edit: Capped in Besieged, yay!
Fields of Valor in Xarc suck ass. "Hello, little one. You want the easiest one? Okay! Please go kill 9 bones and 3 ghosts. Oh, and hey, do it in the middle of a ton of undead! Mind you, these can't be TW mobs! Don't let your HP fall into the yellow, teehee!" I came so close to dying many, many times in my one single training page there. Never going back again.
Last night was ZNM night, but we only got one of the two done. Chamrosh. We ran out of time for V-whoever (bones), so will do that next week. Everyone got the capes/earrings they wanted though, so yay.
Tomorrow is an off night, so I'll probably do more BLU. Wish I was 75 so I could take a break. zzz Make Damask 100 while I'm wishing for things? zzzz Hell, I guess a better wish would be that I would stop getting so fixated on things.
Hopefully Saturday will get some RP. I'll have a scene with
xvolph if I can get onto the MUX early enough. That should be highly amusing, since Thistle thinks her character is an Immortal~ XD(Edit: WARNING! There are ToAU mission spoilers in the comments! Early-ish missions, but if you've done none of them and don't want to be spoiled, take care.)
