If it isn't on Google, does it exist?

[thistlechaser]

First: Thanks to whoever sent me the black cat on my user look up! <3 I love it!

Now here's a question for everyone. Would you believe there are books out there that Google does not know about? A real, physical, professionally published book. Google does not have the title, the author, the publisher&title, or even the ISBN number listed anywhere. (The author's name comes up as other results, not associated with the book.)

What book is this, you ask? The very first "adult" book I ever bought, back when I was a kid, before the Internet and all its boundless porn existed.

Anyway, this is a really horrible/funny book. The writing is so so so so bad.



Fully impaled with hot cock, Laura squirmed and rocked her hips in a frenzied tempo.

Buried deep in her buttery wet fuckhole, his meaty shaft jerked wildly. Garth moaned sharply as she began to raise and lower her hips, quickly pumping up and down on his thick dick.

Laura leaned back, looking down to where their naked bodies connected. Eagerly, she watched the pumping progress of his turgid cock shaft as it sank into her hungry pussy time after time.

---

There's nothing quite as sexy as descriptions like "gripping cunthole" and "sopping loveslit"!



So anyway. I had intended to just throw the book out. (I have great fears of dying with it sitting on my desk. What would people think! ...not that I owned porn, but such horrible quality!) But the fact that the online world seems to have forgotten it exists...

The publisher is out of business. No website, no listing at all for it. The company that took it over is also gone. There are listings of ISBNs all over online, so I'm surprised nothing came up for that.

While it is really horribly written, it almost seems a shame to throw the book out. It's a lost piece of... porn history? It really feels strange to hold something that there's no knowledge of online. Sure Google doesn't index everything, but darned close to that.

Now I just have to remember not to read comments on this post from work tomorrow, since that'd show the cut text as well. So very NWS!

Edit: Adding the book info here, so Google can find it!
Laura's Lust Story
Casey Garrett
Beeline Classic / Carlyle Communications Inc
ISBN: 0-503-05953-6

Comments

[mark356.livejournal.com]

That's priceless! I don't think I've ever seen such badly written porn! If it were me, I'd keep it for the laughs.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Isn't it? Maybe I will keep it, after all.

[achika-soladia.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, what is the ISBN? The library employee in me wants to try to find it because it can.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I decided I should add all the book info to the post, so Google could find it! Let me know if you find anything about it?

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

It reads like something straight off weepingcock.

Don't throw it away! It's funny now, but imagine how utterly fantastic it will be in 30 years time! It'll sound like Victorian porn sounds to us.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*laughs* You might be right! I'll find a box or something to stick it into, someplace out of the way.

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

It is an important cultural document *nods*

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

Holy crap! That's some bad porn. I'd keep it and read it aloud when I'm having a bad day.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha! I hadn't even thought about reading it out loud (it's bad enough in my head!). I'll have to try that!

[gmth.livejournal.com]

*dies* That's some putrid smut, right there.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*laughs* It really, really is.

[socksofjello.livejournal.com]

Buried deep in her buttery wet fuckhole, his meaty shaft jerked wildly.

Man, now I'm hungry.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

... *falls over dead* Ha!

[almontffxi.livejournal.com]

Bonus points were got for the usage of "turgid."

I gotta admit, I actually loled haha!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I've been snickering out loud over it, too!