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Warning: While I wouldn't call this post NWS, it involves some serious subject matter, including rape and torture. If those are trigger issues for you, please don't click the cut.

2. Tell us about one scene between your characters that you’ve never written or told anyone about before! Serious or not.



I should start out by saying that rape and torture are horrible things in real life. There is nothing, NOTHING, positive about them. I am very much against both in RL.

That being said, RP is not RL.

In FFXI-based RP, I played Thistle. *points at icon* He was a Corsair (a pirate). He was also an innocent, bouncy, happy-go-lucky fellow. He was friends with a woman named Nai. Nai became an Immortal (a mortal enemy of the Corsairs). While those two RPed, we brought in various NPCs. First was Deven, a Corsair love interest of Thistle's. Second was Reef, an undercover (sort of) Immortal.

Reef was one scary dude. Thistle had no idea what he was getting involved in. Reef played all sorts of mind games, gaining his trust, drawing the still "I'm not gay! >< " Thistle into his home and bed.

Getting Thistle to be unfaithful to Deven was just the tip of the iceberg. We RPed physical torture out for hours. (That may sound like a horrible way to spend a few hours, but no, it was one of the most exciting, interesting things I've ever done in RP.) Detailed torture; graphic rape; mental, physical, and emotional pain.

Quickly enough, over a few visits, sex became forced. Part blackmail, part physical force. Thistle and Reef were two different races, Reef twice as tall as Thistle. (For FFXI people: Reef was a large elvaan, Thistle a small hume, top of Thistle's head came up to Reef's belly button on in-game models.) We figured everything else was proportional too, so there was a big size difference thrown in with the rape.

While it was horrible for my character, it was some of the most amazing, exciting RP I've ever been in. The mind control (done in psychological ways, not magic), the repeated rapings, the just total using another living being as nothing but an object for another's physical, sexual, and sadistic pleasure.

That's one of the powers of RP. How many people have a good idea at the emotions that might happen during these things? (How many would want to know!) What a powerful thing it feels to be able to experience all this without actually going through it myself.



I switched question 2 and 22 around. As soon as I read 22, I knew I wanted to write about this and it wouldn't get out of my head, so I'll answer 2 on the 22nd day instead.

List of all 30 questions here.

Rereading this, I worry a bit about posting it. I hope no one thinks me (more of) a freak because I enjoyed RPing that. RP is a safe way to explore things you'd never do in RL.

Date: 2010-07-27 02:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fealubryne.livejournal.com
I never though you a freak, and I still don't. I mean, heck, I'm pretty much exactly the same way. The darker the better. There's something fascinating and encompassing about being able to explore thought and emotion at such extremes. And in RP nobody's actually being hurt, which makes it all the better.

Besides, who's more the freak? The one who likes to write about it hardcore, or the one who likes to experience it firsthand less hardcore? Heh.

Date: 2010-07-27 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thistle-chaser.livejournal.com
Heh! Noooooooooo thanks on doing it first hand! I'm a wuss when it comes to pain! Not something I'm interested in at all. :D

<3 Thanks! And totally agreed: I love the dark stuff!

Date: 2010-07-27 03:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fealubryne.livejournal.com
*laughs* To each their own!

Date: 2010-07-27 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] itsbacon.livejournal.com
Not a freak! :D And it's something that interests me, too... pushing characters to the absolute edge of what they can psychologically endure and seeing how they warp and bend under the pressure -- sometimes it's severe abuse, and then in one case I have a character founded on independence, freedom, free agency, etc., who goes through an experience of utter powerlessness, and in another a character who has to believe that the universe is orderly and just and then experiences firsthand how disorderly and unjust it is (that one would be Morn.)

For me, though, it's always something that happens offscreen, in the backstory of RP characters, or else is part of a story that I'm writing entirely myself. RP is definitely a damn safer way to explore those sorts of things, but it still has its risks... People not respecting your boundaries, not willing to slow down or stop for you, abusing IC power over your character to manipulate you OOC... Dismissing the intensity of emotion these topics can bring up because it's "not real" or "just a game", the works. Having had lots of these kinds of experiences, I generally just can't trust other people to RP these sorts of things with me. x_X So dark moments end up in character backstories, offscreen between two of my own characters, or purely internally to one character.

's one reason why I was really impressed with when Morn was first meeting Haken, that you were willing to give Morn/Thel/the others a lot of power over Haken even though we hadn't necessarily proved ourselves trustworthy yet!

Date: 2010-07-27 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thistle-chaser.livejournal.com
Oooooh yes, you bring up a very good point. Trust is 100% necessary in this. I wouldn't try to RP this sort of thing with someone I didn't know enough to feel safe with. It's not just words on the screen, there's real RL emotion behind this stuff. (The RP wouldn't be so good if there wasn't!)

There's another interesting element to this story, but I'll have to tell you tonight. It's nothing bad, I just don't want it mentioned here (with Google indexing my LJ every 30 seconds to pick up on changes!).

I hope one day you'll be able to find someone you trust well enough to RP this sort of thing out with! ...okay, all of mine ended poorly, but (looking back now) it was still worth it. The good outweighed the bad.

's one reason why I was really impressed with when Morn was first meeting Haken, that you were willing to give Morn/Thel/the others a lot of power over Haken even though we hadn't necessarily proved ourselves trustworthy yet!

Haken is an act of trust (OOCly) for me that way. He listens to any and all senior DKs, and in a medium like WoW, with ZERO control over the quality of the RPers... it's always a risk! It's an interesting exercise though, and it makes for some fun RP! :D

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