Second verse, same as the first... (WoW + FFXI and MU*s and RL and random)

[thistlechaser]

Wow. Apparently I've even used this subject line before! Luckily it was for an archaeology post and not this topic. And huh! I used the same line once before, in the body of a post, on a FFXI post about what a good night I had for making gil. That makes me smile! I really should reread all of my FFXI posts one day...

Funny how strange words from FFXI look now. Geezards. Stroper Chyme. Shihei. The prices amuse me too. "It's very very very nice to have all these made as a hi-pot costs 3K (or more now?) to buy..." when I've heard that things like ori ores are down to 5K.

Anyway, I can look phrases up in my LJ because I have it archived! Especially with the DDOS attacks lately I'd recommend that everyone back theirs up, except the archive tool is no longer supported and doesn't work for most people anymore. Thankfully my version still does.

ANYWAY, the point of this post. WoW is so depressingly empty. My friends list is generally empty all day and all night (not counting AH sellers and their alts that I track). In fact, it's even more depressing that my flist is JUST AH sellers...

I should go to SMC and look for random RP, but I've been so meh lately. Work has been so bad that I don't have the energy to put myself out there on WoW, which means I'm not meeting new people, which means I stay lonely, which means WoW is no relief from work... it's a cycle.

I took Keen out of my personal guild and put him in a social one, but that wasn't much help. The final straw in that was when I got spoken to for speaking out against someone who saw no issues with and in fact was amused by the name Adolfcritler (with some alt characters thrown in there). This person said Hitler was just an average person, nothing special, blah blah blah. I replied back with something like "Yeah, he just tried to kill off an entire race..." and I got talked to because apparently there's a rule against "being sarcastic in response to someone's personal opinion".

So anyway, this is a roundabout way of talking about an embarrassing issue: I'm middle aged, and for the first time in my entire life that I'm struggling to make friends online. Have I changed? Am I withdrawing even more? Is my obsession with making money on the AH getting in the way? Is it just that so much of the WoW playerbase isn't a match for me that it's harder for me to find people who are?

Maybe I need to take a break from the AH. I'm up to 260K, which remains way way way more gold than anyone needs. (But the gold is there to be made! How can I stop!) Spending my time random RPing would mean I meet more people which would mean more chance of meeting good people.

I joined a forum-based RP, but haven't been back since my character was approved (seems like too much work to catch up on all the 848413421 page treads).

I always come back to: Maybe I should join a MU*. I know two that are active (Garou and a FF one). I'm not a great match on either theme anymore, though I'd lean towards the FF one, though I had some kind of issue with a staffer there (we got into some kind of fight? I don't think I was kicked off the game, I think I just left...).

What it comes down to is I want the same thing online as I want at my job: I want something good to just fall into my lap. A good, tight circle of friends online, a good job RL. No work on my part, just "Here, Thistle, for you! This is what you want and were waiting for!". This is very unlikely to happen.

Rereading this post before posting it depresses me. I wonder if I'll post it at all! Or maybe I will and I'll come scurrying back in 15 minutes to take it down and hope no one saw it!

Comments

[peppygrowlithe.livejournal.com]

We've talked about it before, and I've tried to be real careful about not goading you on. You're an adult, you can make decisions for yourself without me constantly pestering you about it!

But I'm really having a good time on FFMUX. It's not perfect. I mean, sure, I wish I could get a little more RP. I have a scene once or twice a week, and while the posing quality is great, I wish I could have more. But I'm always happy all day the day after I do. I'm also HUGE on the theme (I'm a Final Fantasy fanboy, what can I say?), so the idea of hanging on an airship with Setzer and Terra while being a ronso is all like "YEAH BEST THING EVER!"

MU*ing isn't 100% about about the RP. As former staffers on PokeMUSH, we know that. It's about chatting with people on public channels, it's about making little journals and stupid thingies for your character (OMG I have a wiki page!!), it's about dreaming and thinking of your character and how awesome he or she (for us, usually he :P) is even when you're away from the MU*. Sure, all of these can be accomplished on, say, WoW, of course - WoW RP sated me for several years. But coming back to a MU* has made me realize how much I missed them, and how WoW RP for me just wasn't the same. There's less in-game distraction, far fewer idiots (and MU* idiots are still better than WoW idiots - any application can attest to that), and a complete imagination dependence. Zidane greets me when I log on, people from the MU* comment on my Facebook and a couple read my LiveJournal, and OOC chatter is always pleasant. I feel like I've fit in fairly well.

There's my piece! Seriously, if you don't think it's a good idea, don't feel obliged. I took a major cue from my cats IRL to make a character who's a self-absorbed dick without being unlikeable, and I'll be applying for Fang (a woman warrior from Final Fantasy XIII) in the next couple months, so I'm personally rooted for a while. I'd talk to you, at least, and RP when you want, but I TOTALLY get that if the idea isn't ultimately appealing, then it's not worth the hassle.

Whatever the case, I do hope you buck this funk. You're rad and funny. I hope everything turns out well!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Reading your comment sure did make me smile! And, unlike the previous times we've talked about this, this time it feels right.

The small(???) issue is that when I left FFMUX I did so after a fight with Diab... Diablos? The head staffer/FFXI staffer. I can't remember the details at all. I hope it was just a fight and I didn't get kicked out, I think that's the case but I'm 100% not certain. So I'd have to ask if she'd have issues with me coming back.

On the plus side, I found my old approved app, so I won't have to rewrite it!

On the down side, I don't remember any MU* commands other than WHO and DOING. :P

Won't it be funny to RP together? Especially if I suck coming from WoW RP!

[peppygrowlithe.livejournal.com]

Ha! I was wondering if it was Dia. She's actually pretty nice, but I had the impression she didn't like me for a long time. I think in retrospect that's just the way she is. Still, she is the head wizard, so I guess you would probably have to talk to her first just to make sure there's no bad blood.

Oh man, MUX commands are so different. I felt like a real idiot trying to figure out even basic commands like joining channels. Figuring out just how to join channels was a real accomplishment. (addcom pub=Public to join the public channel and access it using 'pub', by the way.) As long as you got @emit, %r (next line), and %t (indent), you're solid!

I hope everything goes okay. Maybe I'll see ya around! :)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I'll try to catch her tonight! And ha, yeah, I remember channels being the worst for me to figure out.

[teslanomaly]

Come back! Come back to us, Thistle! (I might even get to RP again sometime soon.)

(By the way, Peppy, I'm Garnet/Tollyplayer - and I only know one Ronso on the MUX. :) If you'd like to friend me on LJ feel free, but I'll leave it to you!)

[peppygrowlithe.livejournal.com]

Whoa! Hey Tolly! Yeah, I'm totally adding you.

Thistle and I go way back - she and I were staffers on PokeMUSH many a year ago. Small world, huh?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I talked to Dia and she's fine with me coming back, so I'm going to try to get my app in tomorrow! :D

[peppygrowlithe.livejournal.com]

Woo hoo! Rock on, man!

Looking forward to it.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

App submitted! I'm not sure one part of it will fly (I didn't much explain what happened to Thistle between when I left and when I returned, though it was on purpose -- his head is all messed up), but if not it won't be too much of a rewrite.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Hm. Either work is blocking the MUX or I have the wrong address or it's down. giruvegan.savingthrow.org:5403 ? 72.1.156.19 ?

Edit: I can reach the website, but I can't ping savingthrow.org . IP address doesn't work either. Strangeness!

[peppygrowlithe.livejournal.com]

Well, that's bizarre. Yup, giruvegan.savingthrow.org, port 5403. Maybe it was just temporarily down..?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

It works from home. Hopefully it was just down this morning, I'd like to be able to log on from work. Oh well, we'll see!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

As far as my limited technical skills can tell, my work is blocking the port needed to do any sort of telnetting. D: Blah!

[veloxe.livejournal.com]

This person said Hitler was just an average person, nothing special, blah blah blah. I replied back with something like "Yeah, he just tried to kill off an entire race..." and I got talked to because apparently there's a rule against "being sarcastic in response to someone's personal opinion".

Uhhh, last I checked it wasn't a matter of personal opinion, it was a matter of historical fact. I hate when immature people hide behind "Well it's just my opinion" when they are doing things (like naming a character Adolfcritler) just to try and be cool and start shit. It's like all the Arena teams named "Rosa Parks took my seat" or "Rosa Parks stole my bike"

Is it just that so much of the WoW playerbase isn't a match for me that it's harder for me to find people who are?

That one. Seriously, the WoW player base is like 90% people you (or I for that matter) will never get along with and will just want to strangle half the time. Ya, there are the good people but your definitely looking for a diamond in the rough when it comes to people on WoW.

In my 2 years of playing I didn't meet anyone I actually wanted to keep in contact with (over multiple guilds across several servers and even across horde/alliance boundaries) other then people I already knew from XI. Ya, there were people I could stand and people I could deal with but there wasn't anyone I honestly thought, "You know what, this guy is awesome, I'd hang out with him."

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Uhhh, last I checked it wasn't a matter of personal opinion, it was a matter of historical fact.

Yeah. The whole thing was just so messed up...

It's like all the Arena teams named "Rosa Parks took my seat" or "Rosa Parks stole my bike"

Wow, I wouldn't have thought that sort of thing would be permitted.

And on the people? Yeah. Blah.

[veloxe.livejournal.com]

I think it was about a year ago when it really came into light. There was like 40 teams with the name. It's hard to watch for unless blizzard tags literally everything that could possible be used in a negative sense (asides from curses/racist words which they probably already have tagged). It looks like they've gotten rid of those specific teams but it wouldn't surprise me if they went and made different names that were also entirely made just to be douche bags.

[giftofarthas.livejournal.com]

The trouble is, the insensitivity is because no one has really had to live through anything horrible. The wars overseas aren't really that close to home. The internet is huge and anonymous and people encourage each other to be bigger d-bags.

And to be honest, WoW has stagnated for me lately. :/ I find myself preferring to be offline and read. Or I log onto Vent so I can talk to my guildmates without even logging into the game unless they ask me. I've considered trying Rift, since so many people are enjoying it, but I'm even 'meh' to that idea.

Eek. WoW midlife crisis?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I find myself preferring to be offline and read.

Last night I took a break from the game and read for a while. I surprised myself at how fun and enjoyable it was! WoW is just basically something to pass the time between work and sleeping, it's so rarely fun or enjoyable...

I've thought about Rift as well, but I'd really rather quit MMOs than get into a new one. (I'm more of a RPer than a video gamer, really.)

Eek. WoW midlife crisis?

Sure does sound like it, doesn't it!

[socksofjello.livejournal.com]

Man, I know how this feels. When my original group of RPers-slash-friends began disbanding (due to changes in personality/folks leaving for college/drama/etc) I spent a lot of time searching for new games and groups to be a part of. Unfortunately, finding folks you click with isn't as easy as it sounds, and it took me over a year to discover the current forum full of goofy idiots completely awesome bros and bro-ettes I currently play with.

Hope you have more initial luck than I had. Don't be afraid to take your application and scout out a different forum if you don't feel you fit in there. Forum RPs--assuming you're not in a particularly obscure fandom--are a dime a dozen, and unlike MU*s, you can easily shop around for a new experience.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

, finding folks you click with isn't as easy as it sounds,

That's sooo true. Unfortunately!

And yeah, I think I will shop around more. Maybe I'll find a good fit!