Oh Ellie New Cat...

[thistlechaser]

Two steps forward, one step back.

In some ways, she's improving. She'll now usually reluctantly sit on my chest for a while (with me rocked back). Sometimes only for moments, sometimes for minutes. She follows me from room to room, waiting outside of the bathroom if I close the door.

Tonight she nearly bit me. I boggled at what set her off: One hand already patting her, I reached with the other to pat more. It was the old 'oh my god! two hands! you're going to GRAB me!' reaction. I haven't seen that in weeks. I kept my hand in place, the other one still patting her, and she wigged out. Her head lashed forward at my arm, stopping just short of making contact. Closer than she's ever before come to biting me. (I could have pulled my second hand all the way away when she got scared, but I worry about reinforcing bad behavior -- "if I act this way, I'll get the results I want". I don't know if that's a valid worry towards a fear response, maybe not.)

If she ever does bite me, I don't know what I'll do. Especially if it's a serious bite. She is still making progress, but I don't know if I could keep a cat that bites. I know she's doing it out of fear, and I suppose that does make a difference, but...

I learned the other night that she seems to be sleeping with me at night. I got up in the middle of the night and she was on my bed. I think she's coming up after I fall asleep and leaving before I wake up.

The other day I realized I had stopped working on getting her used to being picked up. (Not a big picking up, just lifting her paws off the floor and then putting her back down.) She just reacts so badly to it.

Bah. I know it's not fair to her, but sometimes I wish so much for a "normal" cat.

Rereading this post makes me feel so bad for her. It's clear that she wants love, but she's so afraid. I just have to keep being patient...

Comments

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

If she was a feral cat, you will just have to be patient with her...maybe you can get a second cat? If you get a laid back cat Ellie might learn to calm down from him/her. Neutered male cats seem to be the most mellow in my experience.

We had to pass Cleo along to a lady who has more experience with problem cats, because she was getting too aggressive. She bit me pretty good when I was trying to keep her from beating up the kitten...the bite did not bother me as much as her getting really ferocious towards a kitten less than half her size. I hope Ellie never gets like that!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I've been debating back and forth getting another cat. On one hand, I want ALL THE CATS IN THE WORLD MINE MINE MINE EVERY CAT. On the other, my apartment isn't large and I'm not sure how happy two cats would be in it. I'd probably get a kitten so it would bother her less.

Ack! Aggression towards a kitten would bother me a lot, too. Hopefully, if I go the second cat route, they'd be good together!

[veloxe.livejournal.com]

I doubt this sort of thing exists but if you could figure out a way to like borrow a kitten from someone just to see how Ellie reacts to it. My guess would be that she'll probably just try to keep to herself but it would be horrible if she had violent tendencies to Additional Newer Cat (ANC) and you had to choose.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha! Now I want a kitten just to name it Additional Newer Cat. Addi for short!

[veloxe.livejournal.com]

Addie (I'd probably add the E just for symmetry purposes) would work well with Ellie in terms of names I would think.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Addie and Ellie sound way too cute together. :D Like I needed more reasons to want a kitten!

[socksofjello.livejournal.com]

Assuming the forums aren't in guest lockdown mode again (ugh), there are some good tips here on getting new cats accustomed to one another. Just control-F "introducing".

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks! I've not been to SA in years. I probably still have an account, unless they purged it.

[mel-redcap.livejournal.com]

How long have you had Ellie kitteh? It took my friend's once-abused cat about a year to get over most of her old habits and fears - and she never really got over the fear that Food Would Not Be There Tomorrow - but she ended up the sweetest, cuddliest cat ever. The fact that Ellie isn't a hissing ball of aggression and ferocity means she has hope. *hugs*

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*checks LJ tags* Wow, it's been almost exactly six months. I got her on 2/26. Doesn't feel like it's been that long.

Thanks, I think you're right!

[ex-felknigh.livejournal.com]

I have one male cat who is just a tad on the skittish side, and I've noticed a difference in the ways that he tries to bite. There is a play-nip, which he uses when we touch one specific point on his back. I think it's ticklish or something. Basically an "omg that tickles leave that alone!" There's also a fear warning, which doesn't result in a serious bite (or even a break in the skin, yet) but is just a way to let someone know he's freaked out. Then there's the serious bite, which is only used when he's freaked out, cornered and can't run, and we've ignore the signs that he's getting uncomfortable with the contact.

My male cat just needed love and attention to come out of his shell, and he's not entirely out yet, but he's getting much better. It takes time. Make sure not to move too quickly with both hands, and don't approach with the second hand from in front of her face. My male cat is better about getting picked up, but the hand in front of the face gets him a lot.

Edit: I've also noticed it helps if I don't look directly at him. I think looking directly at him while I move makes him think I'm going to do something, but looking away and grabbing him slowly works.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

It's possible I overreacted (over-worried) and she hadn't actually intended to bite, that the lunge was actually a warning.

She seems like a very "mouthy" cat, she's willing to apply teeth-to-skin way more than I would be comfortable with. It's her way of telling me she's had enough pattings... or hasn't had enough, if I try to pull my hand away before she's ready for me to stop. It's an understandable reaction, if I were another cat. She used to be feral, so I'm sure she's just not used to how to communicate with people yet.

I'm glad to hear you're having success with your male cat! How long has it taken?

And yeah, when I need to look at her directly, I make sure to blink a lot so it doesn't come off as some kind of scary challenging stare.

[ex-felknigh.livejournal.com]

Cats move very fast. I think if she'd intended it to be a bad bite, it would have connected.

It's taken a while for my male cat, I've had him almost three years now, mainly because when I got him, I had to move someplace that required him to be declawed, and I didn't know what it would do to him at the time. He's fine, but it made him more skittish than he otherwise would have been. I have a new female that I absolutely refuse to declaw, and she's coming around a lot faster.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha! That's a very good point. She's fast as heck, and I'm the opposite.

Oh wow, poor guy! I could see that slowing things down.

My current next door neighbors "debarked" (cut the vocal cords of) their dog. I feel awful just thinking about that.

[ex-felknigh.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I can't even imagine that poor dog :[

If I had a choice at the time, I never would have done it, but I didn't have anywhere else to go and I had no one that would take both cats together (they've never been separated, except for the skittish one's more-frequent vet visits).

And yeah, my female cat HAS caught me good and proper, right on the hand. I didn't even see her move. I was trying to get her in a crate to get go get spayed, and she DID NOT LIKE THE BOX. Bam! Bleeding before I even knew what happened.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's understandable. When he first moved to this area, my friend had to get rid of his cats (after bringing them halfway across the country). The housing market was just that tight at the time, apartments didn't have to permit pets to make money hand over fist... I came to this area soon after him (with my cat in tow), but I got luckier and found a place that would take her. It's better that you had to do that and could keep them than the alternative!

I got lucky on Ellie, she has no issues with getting into a carrier. My previous cat was always a trick to get into one (but she had so many medical issues and painful vet trips, I didn't blame her).

[firebyrd.livejournal.com]

If Ellie could get used to another cat, it would probably be good for her to have another one around for company while you're at work. That's a long time for a critter to be all by itself. That's if, of course. I seem to recall that she had problems with other cats at the foster house?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was going to adopt two together to begin with, but the lady who had been fostering her said she thought she'd be happier alone. Luckily I work close to home, so I come home for lunch nearly every day.

I love kittens and cats, I'd love to get another one, but I think I'm going to stick with one.

Happily she's been a lot better since that night. This has happened before: She regressed big time and then made a giant leap right after that. Her little kittybrain is an odd thing.