Two posts, one day!

[thistlechaser]

Look! It's something meme-like! In my LJ! But it's funny, so this one I'll do.

Directions, taken from ilanarama: So there was this XKCD comic, which inspired the Up-Goer-Five Text Editor, which allows forces you to write using only the thousand most common English words. And now my friends are using it to rewrite their job descriptions. Bandwagon, jump, whee!

My job:

I write about very-very-not-stupid things for people who are a lot more not-stupid than me so they will know how to do those very-very-not-stupid things and give who I work for more money than most people would believe.

Also, when those very-very-not-stupid things don't work, sometimes I help people fix them. That is funny because they are a lot more not-stupid than I am. They fly into space and start fights between lands. I sit at a desk.

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Leave yours in a comment or post to your own LJ! :)

Comments

[teslanomaly]

I am trying this RIGHT NOW. Hahaha.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

isn't it fun? :D

[bastets-place.livejournal.com]

I make and give bad food to people too stupid to know better than to buy it. I do very good if I also make them sick and bigger.

(I work for mcfood.)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's a good one (and depressing!).

[bastets-place.livejournal.com]

yup - not using the doo-hicky right now, I know darned well I need to find a new job; I feel kind of... "lawful evil" pushing people to get the larger size fries and a pair of cookies (fresh baked and only a dollar!) or some of our "available for a limited time only warm out of the oven!" cherry pies while also trying to control myself for the sake of my blood sugar.

It feels like a kind of slow mass-murder.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't envy you at all. Even just being around the food would make me want it, even knowing it's bad for me.

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

I draw cute things that get turned into books and moving pictures on TV.

That wasn't hard. ;p

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yours was easy and even sounds mostly normal. :D

[resonant.livejournal.com]

At work, we make black computer boxes that help people fly across the world without getting lost. My job is to help my team make the things work well. If the computer boxes work well, then people who fly are safe. If the computer boxes break or do not work well, then people who fly could get hurt or die.

I have to write my name on a piece of paper that promises that each computer box works the way it should. If people go flying but get lost, I am the one that gets in trouble. When something goes wrong, I am the one that has to find the true cause of the problem. I then have to find a way to fix that cause so that problem never happens again.

One thing I do at work to keep people safe is to write words to tell my team friends how to make the computer boxes. My friends at work with big brains think of how to make the computer boxes. However, my big-brained friends do not write well. I fix their words so we will usually build the computer boxes the right way.

My big-brained friends often use long or strange words instead of short, every-day words. Short, every-day words are best. It is not good to use long or strange words, because they confuse people.

It is also not good to use words that mean two things at once. If a word means two things, someone will always guess the wrong thing.

Using too many words at once is also bad, even if the words are short and easy. If you can't explain an idea in 20 words or less, people will get confused. Also, if you need more than 20 words to explain an idea, you might not really understand the idea yourself.

The world would be a better place if people used clear, easy words to write and speak.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I think we do the same thing! Though yours for a much scarier subject matter. If I write something wrong, the worst thing that could happen is code fails to compile.