Alaskan peace officers must be bored

[thistlechaser]

Now and again I look at classified ads from Alaska. I figure one day I might stumble upon the perfect reason to move up there. While today wasn't that day, I happened upon the police blotter. Whoever wrote these reports up must have been really bored! All these are from one issue of a newspaper (so a week of time).

Drunk Disturbance – Officers responded to a bunkhouse regarding a disturbance report and found a gaggle of people running about, yelling and pointing at one another. Witnesses told officers that the “disturbance” was nothing more than one man disputing the validity of another’s “tough guy” attitude.

Disorderly Conduct – An inebriated and disruptive Samuel K. Kulang, 33, was arrested on one count of Disorderly Conduct after he challenged officers and crewmembers alike to fight.

Officers responded to a location from which a 911 call had been made, apparently inadvertently. Officers found a mother and daughter in an argument over the daughter’s friends and desire to go out late at night.

Drunk Disturbance – Officers responded to a boarding house regarding threats of violence. An intoxicated tenant, upset over the volume of music played by an apparently sober tenant, called the sober tenant bad names and implied that nobody liked him.

Domestic Disturbance – Officers responded to the home of two drunken brothers who were unable to play well with one another and required police to tell them to just get along.

Assault – Officers responded to a bunkhouse regarding a report of a fight, and found that one man had taken it upon himself to spray his sleeping roommate with beer and then hit him in the head with the empty bottle when the sleeping man expressed his annoyance.

Drug Law Violation – Third party report of a white man with marijuana in a phone booth. The report was later amended to be not marijuana but just a lot of paper.

Comments

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

That's our State!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Go Alaska! :D

[ghost-light.livejournal.com]

We're damn special

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

...This is not normal?

Haha, it does look a lot like the police blotters around here. This week the highlights include a school crosswalk violation and yard debris fire.

Few weeks ago a car rolled into a creek and the sheriff had to get down to his underpants to go wade in and rescue a distraught old lady. I have seen the creek. She could have easily walked herself out, and nobody was hurt. The entire county has been talking about that for a month.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha! Is that normal? I should be reading more of these then! I don't think I ever read one before.

Hahaha at the sheriff! Poor guy.

[aberdeen.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, that's because a lot of the real issues never make it to the blotter. Like when a woman called the cops to report seeing another woman being beaten by her boyfriend, and nothing happened. So when it was still going on, half an hour later, she called the city office, and the worker there kept her on the phone and called the cops on her cell to report it, and was told that, yeah, he'd go check it out after he'd had breakfast. And then nothing ever happened. And the woman being beaten was taken to Bethel to the hospital due to the severity of her injuries. But nothing in any police blotter. And that's not uncommon for the bush.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

...

Gah, that's awful! There were a few more serious listings than what I posted, but nothing like that.

[postingwhore.livejournal.com]

Why would someone be in a phone booth with a lot of paper O_O

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

My guess is that they meant those wrapping papers that they use to make joints? Though it's funnier to picture it as handfuls of notebook paper.

[bacchuslives.livejournal.com]

Bored indeed... Sounds more like my family newsletters. :)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Ha, yes!