thistlechaser | Body, you suck. I'm going to trade you in.

I didn't post yesterday because I didn't want to post an all down, depressed post. I spent most of the day hungry, which both sucks and is sad (that's not supposed to happen, dammit). I figured I'd just ignore the day and hope today was better.

Today was worse. Much worse.

The full body rash I have has only been getting worse. And when I say full body I mean it. From my scalp to the tops of my feet. My toes are the only thing not covered with bright red, ultra itchy rash. My surgeon said it was likely because of the morphine I got on the first day in the hospital, and prescribed me an anti-itch pill. Not only did it not really help much, the rash kept getting worse. So today I went to the allergist.

The rash is an allergic reaction. To protein shakes. The only thing I can eat.

I bought some unflavored whey protein powder. We don't know if it's whey or some other ingredient in the shakes, but if it's whey itself, then I have no idea what I'll do. There's another kind of powdered protein, but it's junk.

I had been intending to use these shakes the rest of my life. Two meals of shakes, one "normal" (new normal) meal.

I won't know if its the whey or not for more than five days. I'm on prednisone (steroid) for five days to try to get the rash under control, so we shouldn't see any new rashes until after that.

I don't know how the lack of hunger is supposed to work. Right now, I'm eating just over 300 calories per day (two shakes, 160 calories each, and then less than a quarter cup of some broth-based soup). I know that's not enough, but that's what we have to do for two weeks post-surgery.

Know the fun part of that? I still haven't even lost a single damned pound yet. I know it will happen, but I would like at least something for having to go through all this. Something besides feeling like I'd happily claw my skin off to stop the itching.