Jurassic World (no spoilers)

[thistlechaser]

It's been more than five years since I last saw a movie in the theater, and after seeing Jurassic World, I can say it will likely be a lot longer before I go again.

I decided on the 2D showing, so $7 for a ticket.

I wanted popcorn. $6! Gods above, how in the world do people live with themselves selling it for that price? And on top of that, it was stale.

But, price aside, how was the movie? Meh.

When I saw the first movie, Jurassic Park, it was magical. Seeing the "live" dinosaurs was the most amazing movie experience I ever had -- it was like really seeing them for real. Jurassic World? Never felt even close to that. The dinosaurs looked realistic, but I never once felt like they were.

I spent much of the movie wondering why that was. Was Jurassic Park the first time we saw realistic dinosaurs on a screen? Were effects less advanced back then, so Jurassic Park was cutting edge? Probably both of those reasons were the cause.

Okay, so the dinosaurs were, at best, nice special effects, but how was the storyline? Bad. The movie logic? Meh. The characters/their actions? Utterly unbelievable.



Official Park Lady Person, when leading the T-Rex with the flare, KEPT HER HIGH HEELS ON? I mean seriously, what the fuck?

After killing something (raptor was it?), Official Park Lady Person and Star-Lord kissed? When we had established just moments earlier that she didn't like him?

Official Park Lady Person, who demonstrated just SECONDS before that she was more than competent with a gun, handed it back to Star-Lord as soon as he was on his feet? After SHE saved him with that gun?



I'm just so annoyed at so much of the logic (or lack thereof) in the movie.

Then there was the movie "experience" itself. Aside from the $6 popcorn, gone was that movie trivia that used to play before the movie (which, okay, I never liked much), replaced with 20+ minutes of commercials! And then, when the commercials finally ended, there was another 15-20 minutes of trailers for things I generally had zero interest in. The movie was billed as starting at 12:15, but it didn't start until well after 12:30. And yes, even that early, I was already checking my watch.

I checked my watch more than a dozen times, and at one point almost decided to just leave early (luckily the post-dinosaur wrap-up didn't last long at all, and the movie ended before I could decide to just go).

The one single good part about the experience was how empty the theater was. There were less than 15 people there total, and I had a row nearly to myself. The seats were comfortable enough, but the screen was a lot smaller than I remember movie screens being. There was no surround sound that I could hear.

It wasn't an awful movie, I just see zero (less than zero!) benefits to seeing a movie in the theater. It's going to take a hell of a lot to get me to go to a movie theater ever again.

Comments

[pink-halen.livejournal.com]

Yes, The Movies have changed. Part of the magic is reserved for the 3D versions which will be on bigger screens. Perhaps the first movie was more magical because it was on a bigger screen. The 3D theaters have the better sound although it might actually pin you to your seat with the volume. Next time you get the urge, check up on the venue. Most multiplexes have a dozen screens but most of them are small. Check to see the size of the theater. A 500 seat house is better than a 100 seat one. The best place to see a movie is 1/3 of the way back from the front and dead center. Too many people pick seats in the back but the movie is designed for those toward the front. And in this case, Front row is not the best.

Yes, Movie theater operators have gotten greedy. They run these awfully fake pre-shows which are all hype and no content. For most theaters, it is the concession stands that make the money. The box office income covers the movie rental. That's why popcorn is so expensive. Farmers are paid 9 cents a pound for popcorn. Do you realize how many boxes of popcorn can be made with a pound of popcorn?

You might have fallen out of the demographic for these movies. You've grown and now recognize the bull of High Heels and guns that you might have missed earlier. They count on people who can suspend belief. I can se you are over that.

I see you were sensible and didn't go when the theater was crowded. Afternoon matinees are wonderful. We never go in the evening unless there is no other time to see the film.

I have no plans for seeing Jurassic World. I'm not much for huge special effects where the statistics of body count and explosive events are through the roof. Give me the quiet sweet movies.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yep, you got it right. This screen didn't seem movie-sized at all. Bigger than my TV/monitor? Sure, but I expected the screen to be bigger. This theater had 20 screens before IMAX was around, and still has 20 even though a number of them are IMAX, so... makes sense that the remaining ones would be smaller.

And for sure, if the theater had been crowded, I'd have been downright miserable. I like doing things at off/unpopular times.

I was surprised at how many deaths there were in Jurassic World! 'Gory' to my point of view, though it got only a PG-13. People died in Park, but LOTS of people died in World...

[kelen.livejournal.com]

That's exactly how I felt about it. The magic was gone. The plot was lousy, and they did so many cliche things I was rolling my eyes. :( Seems we have the same issues with the movie. It wasn't worth the price of admission.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yep, you hit it right on the head. There were just so many issues with the story! But no one else seemed to see them (based on the few sounds I heard from the others, they liked the kiss scene and the chase-in-high-heels). Blah.

[kelen.livejournal.com]

I laughed at the sheer idiocy of running in high heels. A t-rex can out run even the fastest of humans in running shoes. How the hell could anyone in heels do so?

And that's just one of the stupid things I saw. Of course I'm not the best one to ask about a movie as I seldom am able to suspend disbelief, but the movie logic and science was especially bad in this one. That's why I didn't like it. The first had many issues as well, but I still enjoyed that one a good deal.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

She didn't even have a head start! The rex should have been able to just bend down and grab her! She didn't even kick off her heels and run as soon as she could! ARG!

At least I wasn't doing anything else at that time, so those couple hours weren't lost. If I had given up something to go see the movie, I'd be more annoyed. Plus now I know -- I'll no longer debate going to see a movie or not. Waiting for it to come out on DVD or finding it online is the better option for me, for certain.

[kelen.livejournal.com]

Maybe the t-rex just wanted to play? (And no, I don't believe that..)

These days I always wait to hear what the reviews say before seeing any movie. I can't afford many a year, so I'm picky. So like you I see a lot on DVD.

Wish I had seen Mad Max in the theatre, but I missed that one. It's probably the best movie this year.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I keep hearing such good things about Mad Max, but I didn't catch it either. I have a hard time watching movies, it's just so hard for one to keep my interest. Generally it takes me days (literally days) to finish a movie, since I pause it so endlessly to do other things.

[elfy.livejournal.com]

I saw Mad Max and Jurassic World. I thought the latter was an okay popcorn movie and I didn't regret seeing it (though, I LOVE going to the cinema).
But I really loved Mad Max and thought it was fantastic! Even if the plot is told in 3 (short) sentences and probably all the dialogue in the movie would fit on one sheet of paper easily.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's interesting to know about Mad Max. I'm going to have to see it, for sure!

[orangerful.livejournal.com]

Jurassic Park was the rare blend of awesome special effects AND good storyline.

And I know for our town, it was right after all the sound systems were installed so it was the first THX/Dolby Surround movie I saw where you could hear creatures moving from left to right...

I saw it like 6 times in the theater LOL.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I remember hearing them move like that, too! This one was nothing like that at all.

I wish I could have seen Park again instead of World, I would have enjoyed it a lot more, even though I've seen it so many times already.

[socksofjello.livejournal.com]

The dinosaurs looked realistic, but I never once felt like they were.

I have a feeling this has a lot to do with them being fully CG rather than a mix of CG and practical effects. A big problem with CGI creatures in live action movies is...well, they're not actually there! Even with rigging for the actors to interact with, they simply don't have the same kind of weight or "presence" as animatronic puppets. It's a subtle thing, but it's enough that it can ruin your suspension of disbelief.

Unfortunately, computer animation is cheap, so movies will keep using it even when the results are lackluster compared to oldschool alternatives.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

You know, that was probably it. I didn't believe the characters were seeing dinosaurs, so I didn't believe it either. There were only a few scenes with the raptors that I believed (close ups of their faces), but I bet they had puppet stand-ins for the heads in those scenes...

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about the "why is this less realistic to me" thing the other day, and I think also a factor there is "now we are old."

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Could be, though I hate to think that I've grown out of my believing-in-dinosaurs stage. ;) But I think that easily covers the 'damn, girl, why didn't you take your heels off before fleeing the t-rex' part.

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

That is too bad. I still remember how thrilling that first wide shot reveal of dinosaurs were in the Jurassic Park movie. I guess we are too old and jaded to be easily impressed by CGI critters any more.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I was hoping for just that magic again. There was none of it at all in this movie, not even for a moment.