A very ... "special" Japanese candy.
Jun. 18th, 2003 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thistlechaserI think my exclamation upon opening tonight's "candy" is a good place to start this review:
[HS] Dr. Thistle-Chaser says, "Arg! Tonight's Japanese candy just ejaculated all over my arm!"
Things went downhill from there.
However, let's start from the beginning. Tonight's candy is not really a candy, it is (or I had assumed it was) a drink. The English writing on the package says that this is something called a Jelly Drink (Picture of package.). Their English is better than I had assumed...
While buying it, I figured this would be an easy review -- a safe one. Jelly Drink looked like one of those juice pouches we have here. I expected the juice to maybe be a little odd in flavor, but otherwise harmless.
How wrong I was, on so many counts.
Being the chicken that I am, after twisting off the top, I tried to peek into the little drink-tube. How... odd. No pictures of this came out, but it looked like there was a membrane still in the way. There was seemingly no easy way to get it out, other than maybe sticking a pin in and poking/pulling it free. While tilting it to throw better light on it, I noticed it moved up and down. How strange. I gave the container just a little squeeze, and then it happened.
A gooey, slick glob of something came splurting forth and landed on my arm. Being the girly girl that I am, I screamed 'EWWW! Get it off! Get it off!' and shook my arm until it flew off and landed on my desk.
I stared at it, and for the first time since starting all this, said to myself 'I am *not* trying this one.'. My arm is sticky, my desk is sticky, and gods above, that's not a drink! It's... gooey. It jiggles.
So I downloaded, edited, and uploaded the photos, ignoring the strawberry menace sitting next to me, open, waiting to be tried. I didn't want to, I wasn't going to... but how could I post this without trying it? (But how could I put something like that in my mouth?) You folks who have told me you liked these reviews: I'm doing this for you. I'm blaming this on you, too. If I die, someone please come over and feed my cat.
...trying it...
*choke*choke* Apparently either I need more practice with juice boxes, or Jelly Drink is sexually excited by American women. I tried to get just a tiny taste out, but because it's thick you have to squeeze harder than if it was liquid.
Nothing like having a thick glob of goo hit the back of your throat.
And yes, I spit.
I really don't know how the flavor was, I was distracted by my choking and need to get it off my tongue. There's a leftover taste of strawberry in my mouth now. That'll have to be good enough for all of you.
Rating: -4894382t975428742675482764276527609 out of ten.
I think I'm going to need to start dating women now.
[HS] Dr. Thistle-Chaser says, "Arg! Tonight's Japanese candy just ejaculated all over my arm!"
Things went downhill from there.
However, let's start from the beginning. Tonight's candy is not really a candy, it is (or I had assumed it was) a drink. The English writing on the package says that this is something called a Jelly Drink (Picture of package.). Their English is better than I had assumed...
While buying it, I figured this would be an easy review -- a safe one. Jelly Drink looked like one of those juice pouches we have here. I expected the juice to maybe be a little odd in flavor, but otherwise harmless.
How wrong I was, on so many counts.
Being the chicken that I am, after twisting off the top, I tried to peek into the little drink-tube. How... odd. No pictures of this came out, but it looked like there was a membrane still in the way. There was seemingly no easy way to get it out, other than maybe sticking a pin in and poking/pulling it free. While tilting it to throw better light on it, I noticed it moved up and down. How strange. I gave the container just a little squeeze, and then it happened.
A gooey, slick glob of something came splurting forth and landed on my arm. Being the girly girl that I am, I screamed 'EWWW! Get it off! Get it off!' and shook my arm until it flew off and landed on my desk.
I stared at it, and for the first time since starting all this, said to myself 'I am *not* trying this one.'. My arm is sticky, my desk is sticky, and gods above, that's not a drink! It's... gooey. It jiggles.
So I downloaded, edited, and uploaded the photos, ignoring the strawberry menace sitting next to me, open, waiting to be tried. I didn't want to, I wasn't going to... but how could I post this without trying it? (But how could I put something like that in my mouth?) You folks who have told me you liked these reviews: I'm doing this for you. I'm blaming this on you, too. If I die, someone please come over and feed my cat.
...trying it...
*choke*choke* Apparently either I need more practice with juice boxes, or Jelly Drink is sexually excited by American women. I tried to get just a tiny taste out, but because it's thick you have to squeeze harder than if it was liquid.
Nothing like having a thick glob of goo hit the back of your throat.
And yes, I spit.
I really don't know how the flavor was, I was distracted by my choking and need to get it off my tongue. There's a leftover taste of strawberry in my mouth now. That'll have to be good enough for all of you.
Rating: -4894382t975428742675482764276527609 out of ten.
I think I'm going to need to start dating women now.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 06:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 07:47 am (UTC)I like the lychee ones which you squeeze out of the container. Also, better cold.
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Date: 2003-06-19 09:59 am (UTC)I've decided I just hate anything resembling jello, but /especially/ warm jello. Shudder.
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Date: 2003-06-19 11:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 06:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 06:36 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2003-06-18 07:39 pm (UTC)I hope the strawberry aftertaste fades soon. I really do love these reviews; they've actually inspired a semi-educational/semi-sadistic summer activity for the neighborhood kids. We're going to round up loads of exotic foreign snacks and make THEM try them and write up their taste-test experiences.
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Date: 2003-06-18 07:58 pm (UTC)Hee! That sounds like a great plan. Share the pain, that's always a good idea! ;)
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Date: 2003-06-18 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 09:45 pm (UTC)Heh heh heh!
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Date: 2003-06-18 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 05:24 am (UTC)