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thistlechaserCross-posted from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hplyric. Behind the cut is first my story, then the lyrics.
------------------
Title: Always
Author: Thistle-Chaser
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Ask first, please.
Notes: Snape/Harry, though just barely pre-slash. If I had continued the story a paragraph or two more, it would have become full slash. You can thank me later for not shocking you all with the very idea of two guys having sex. ;)
Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dorotea, who sent me great lyrics (Always by Saliva). I've never heard the song, but they were beautiful and really easy to work with. Also, I used a whole lot more of the lyrics than we were required to (basically all internal thoughts are quotes from the song).
This story is told in alternating POV, Snape-Harry-Snape-Harry etc.
Lastly, feedback is more than welcome and will be rewarded with your choice of chocolate chip cookies or fluffy kittens.
Snape:
Potions class. He turns his back on them and writes out the instructions for today's potion on the blackboard. His eyes close as his hand moves; one set of eyes on his back is ignored. Must be ignored.
The words on the board require little of his attention; he's written them dozens of times before. It's his thoughts that he focuses on: I hear a voice say "don't be so blind", it's telling me all these things that you would probably hide. Am I your one and only desire? Am I the reason you breathe? Or am I the reason you cry...
Harry:
Potions class. Ron next to him. Their supplies out and ready. Snape enters the dungeon, and in Harry's ears Ron's words fade to a background hum. Without thought, his hand reaches for his quill to copy down the instructions. His mind isn't on the potion at all.
The crashing down of Hogwarts' walls couldn't move his gaze from his professor's back. Harry catches his tongue between his teeth, forcing his feelings to remain only thoughts. I love you. I hate you. I can't live around you. I breathe you. I taste you. I can't live without you...
As Snape turns, Harry jerks his gaze down, trying to keep his eyes from giving anything away. Ron sends him an odd look.
Snape:
Finished with his instructions, Snape turns around. His eyes sweep over the faces, and when he reaches Harry he sneers.
Though his expression is just a mask, Snape knows it's a good one. His thoughts would never show through it: I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude...
As the class works on their potions, he stalks up and down the row, littering the room with comments meant to wound.
Time passes. "Clean up! Those few of you who have made acceptable potions should know who you are," he pauses and looks at first one Slytherin face and then a second, "bring your work up here to be bottled. The rest of you," he sneers, "have wasted ingredients and two hours of my time. Clean up and go."
Harry:
Harry doesn't try to meet Snape's eyes -- that'd be too risky, too much would be given away. But... part of him hopes his eyes will be caught and held, communication passed between them against his will.
But it doesn't happen.
The class starts filing out of the dungeon, and though Harry's feet carry him along with them, his thoughts remain in the room. I feel like you don't want me around, I guess I'll pack my things, I guess I'll see you around... He sneaks a peek at the dark man, but Professor Snape is turned away, speaking to one of the other students. Harry closes his eyes and misses Hermione's question. Inside, it bottles up until now, as I walk out your door, all I can hear is the sound of...
Always
Always
Always
...I just can't live without you...
Snape:
Randall MacKay has stopped on the way out to ask him a question. He's not as bad as most of the others, so Snape listens and gives him a curt reply. Halfway through his answer, he can feel Har-- Potter's glance. It takes effort not to turn his head and try to catch those green eyes with his own, to catch them and to hold them and to never let-- No!
His feelings are wrong, he knows this, but his thoughts give him no peace. He waves MacKay off, and turns to clear the blackboard. The violent sweeps of his arm do nothing to quiet his thoughts.
I love you. I hate you. I can't live around you. I breathe you, I taste you. I can't live without you. I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude...
"Potter!" Snape surprises himself as well as the students. The name is a cold order, not a request. The teen listens, stops, looks, waits. His friends draw closer to him, but he seems not to notice. He looks, waits.
"Stay after class."
Harry steps back into the room, and the door shuts behind him. Between the two of them and everyone else.
Snape's mouth opens, but he no more knows what's going to come out than he did when he called Harry's name. "I love you," quiet but certain.
Harry's brow furrows, but he moves closer, not further away. "I hate you," his tone belies his words.
Snape steps towards him, looking down at the teen. "I can't live around you..."
The boy closes the final steps between them. "I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you."
"I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude." Snape pulls Harry to himself, holding him tight and not letting him go.
Always.
Always.
Always.
Song lyrics:
Always by Saliva
I hear a voice say, "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things
That you would probably hide
Am I your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe
Or am I the reason you cry
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
I just can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you
I feel like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things
I guess I'll see you around
Inside, it bottles up until now
As I walk out your door
All I can hear is the sound of
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
I just can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I left my head around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart
Always
Always
Always
Always
I see the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel more like a man
Was it all just a part of your plan
The pistol's shakin' in my hands
And all I hear is the sound
I love you
I hate you
I can't live around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor
And now I'm done with you
Always
Always
Always
hplyric. Behind the cut is first my story, then the lyrics. ------------------
Title: Always
Author: Thistle-Chaser
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Ask first, please.
Notes: Snape/Harry, though just barely pre-slash. If I had continued the story a paragraph or two more, it would have become full slash. You can thank me later for not shocking you all with the very idea of two guys having sex. ;)
Many thanks to
dorotea, who sent me great lyrics (Always by Saliva). I've never heard the song, but they were beautiful and really easy to work with. Also, I used a whole lot more of the lyrics than we were required to (basically all internal thoughts are quotes from the song). This story is told in alternating POV, Snape-Harry-Snape-Harry etc.
Lastly, feedback is more than welcome and will be rewarded with your choice of chocolate chip cookies or fluffy kittens.
Snape:
Potions class. He turns his back on them and writes out the instructions for today's potion on the blackboard. His eyes close as his hand moves; one set of eyes on his back is ignored. Must be ignored.
The words on the board require little of his attention; he's written them dozens of times before. It's his thoughts that he focuses on: I hear a voice say "don't be so blind", it's telling me all these things that you would probably hide. Am I your one and only desire? Am I the reason you breathe? Or am I the reason you cry...
Harry:
Potions class. Ron next to him. Their supplies out and ready. Snape enters the dungeon, and in Harry's ears Ron's words fade to a background hum. Without thought, his hand reaches for his quill to copy down the instructions. His mind isn't on the potion at all.
The crashing down of Hogwarts' walls couldn't move his gaze from his professor's back. Harry catches his tongue between his teeth, forcing his feelings to remain only thoughts. I love you. I hate you. I can't live around you. I breathe you. I taste you. I can't live without you...
As Snape turns, Harry jerks his gaze down, trying to keep his eyes from giving anything away. Ron sends him an odd look.
Snape:
Finished with his instructions, Snape turns around. His eyes sweep over the faces, and when he reaches Harry he sneers.
Though his expression is just a mask, Snape knows it's a good one. His thoughts would never show through it: I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude...
As the class works on their potions, he stalks up and down the row, littering the room with comments meant to wound.
Time passes. "Clean up! Those few of you who have made acceptable potions should know who you are," he pauses and looks at first one Slytherin face and then a second, "bring your work up here to be bottled. The rest of you," he sneers, "have wasted ingredients and two hours of my time. Clean up and go."
Harry:
Harry doesn't try to meet Snape's eyes -- that'd be too risky, too much would be given away. But... part of him hopes his eyes will be caught and held, communication passed between them against his will.
But it doesn't happen.
The class starts filing out of the dungeon, and though Harry's feet carry him along with them, his thoughts remain in the room. I feel like you don't want me around, I guess I'll pack my things, I guess I'll see you around... He sneaks a peek at the dark man, but Professor Snape is turned away, speaking to one of the other students. Harry closes his eyes and misses Hermione's question. Inside, it bottles up until now, as I walk out your door, all I can hear is the sound of...
Always
Always
Always
...I just can't live without you...
Snape:
Randall MacKay has stopped on the way out to ask him a question. He's not as bad as most of the others, so Snape listens and gives him a curt reply. Halfway through his answer, he can feel Har-- Potter's glance. It takes effort not to turn his head and try to catch those green eyes with his own, to catch them and to hold them and to never let-- No!
His feelings are wrong, he knows this, but his thoughts give him no peace. He waves MacKay off, and turns to clear the blackboard. The violent sweeps of his arm do nothing to quiet his thoughts.
I love you. I hate you. I can't live around you. I breathe you, I taste you. I can't live without you. I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude...
"Potter!" Snape surprises himself as well as the students. The name is a cold order, not a request. The teen listens, stops, looks, waits. His friends draw closer to him, but he seems not to notice. He looks, waits.
"Stay after class."
Harry steps back into the room, and the door shuts behind him. Between the two of them and everyone else.
Snape's mouth opens, but he no more knows what's going to come out than he did when he called Harry's name. "I love you," quiet but certain.
Harry's brow furrows, but he moves closer, not further away. "I hate you," his tone belies his words.
Snape steps towards him, looking down at the teen. "I can't live around you..."
The boy closes the final steps between them. "I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you."
"I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude." Snape pulls Harry to himself, holding him tight and not letting him go.
Always.
Always.
Always.
Song lyrics:
Always by Saliva
I hear a voice say, "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things
That you would probably hide
Am I your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe
Or am I the reason you cry
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
I just can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you
I feel like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things
I guess I'll see you around
Inside, it bottles up until now
As I walk out your door
All I can hear is the sound of
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
Always
I just can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I left my head around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart
Always
Always
Always
Always
I see the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel more like a man
Was it all just a part of your plan
The pistol's shakin' in my hands
And all I hear is the sound
I love you
I hate you
I can't live around you
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door
And now I'm done with you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I love you
I hate you
I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore
This life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor
And now I'm done with you
Always
Always
Always
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-24 02:52 pm (UTC)Style: Um, the short sentences give it a sense of urgency and longing. The lyrics are pretty well woven in, really. And if you hadn't stuck them in italics, I probably wouldn't have noticed them at all.
Going on the urgent tone vein, it works really well with the 'forbidden' teacher/student relation. I like it, since everything seems to fall into place really well. Interesting. Ah, geez, I can't say anything negative (Um, your story would offend fundamenalist southern baptists living in caves somewhere in Bolivia? Just kidding!). Good job.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-24 02:58 pm (UTC)You win your choice of kitten (http://www.takaradesign.com/kitten.jpg) or cookie (http://www.doitwithdairy.com/images/cookie.jpg)!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-24 03:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-25 01:42 pm (UTC)I don't think the song lyrics fit Snape's thoughts or speech pattern, but there again nothing short of Suicide Death metal would, so that's probably a good thing. The speech was very neatly worked in, considering most of the fic was a monologue too. Definitely a good baby fix.
Do we get "part two: The slashy bit"? *grins, whilst trying to not look too much like a dirty perverted old man*
no subject
Date: 2003-06-25 04:22 pm (UTC)Do we get "part two: The slashy bit"? *grins, whilst trying to not look too much like a dirty perverted old man*
*Snicker!* Why do you think I stopped it where I did? I've never written real, full slash before, and I didn't want people to point at the story and laugh! :)
I'm glad you liked it, other than Snape's voice! Thanks for the comment!