The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!

Another week, back to no sleep. Bah. It was so nice to actually *gasp* sleep at night. I got maybe 2-3 hours last night, and what sleep I did have was filled with funky nightmares (I had one about me not being able to go to the bathroom because my mother kept watching me while I was sitting there. Gah! Images I do *not* need in my head!)

Tonight and the three nights before, I've had some sort of nightmare about Russian people. I have no idea what's going on in the dream, other than that everyone in it speaks Russian and it is a nightmare. No clue what they're saying or why it's so scary...

Catlove is being a bitch, and so I can't get to my email (which includes my LJ comments). So if you leave a comment somewhere and I don't reply, that's why.

The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!

Another week, back to no sleep. Bah. It was so nice to actually *gasp* sleep at night. I got maybe 2-3 hours last night, and what sleep I did have was filled with funky nightmares (I had one about me not being able to go to the bathroom because my mother kept watching me while I was sitting there. Gah! Images I do *not* need in my head!)

Tonight and the three nights before, I've had some sort of nightmare about Russian people. I have no idea what's going on in the dream, other than that everyone in it speaks Russian and it is a nightmare. No clue what they're saying or why it's so scary...

Catlove is being a bitch, and so I can't get to my email (which includes my LJ comments). So if you leave a comment somewhere and I don't reply, that's why.

Pain, pain, lots of pain.

In trying to comb through these never ending Chapter Owls, I came across this, um, something. Since the summary sounded really close to Chronicles of Lucius, I checked it to make sure no one was ripping Fyre off.

Pain shared is pain halved, so here's your share of it!

Lucius Malfoy and the Magical Pimp Stick

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It had been a normal morning so far for Lucius; he had yelled at Draco, made out with Narcissa, and written a love letter to the Dark Lord. He was now sitting at his desk in his study polishing his cane. No one knew why he had a cane; some assumed that his knees had given out after kissing too many butts of his superiors, others believed that he was simply delusional and believed it was still the early 1900s, but nobody , NOBODY had guessed the truth. It was not a cane, it was in reality a Magical Pimp Stick.

Lucius loved his pimp stick. He polished it, and he talked to it. He was once even found worshiping it in his study; he had been decked out in full pimp attire and had been calling his magical stick "Big Daddy"

When did the love affair between Lucius and his Magical Pimp Stick begin? It all started one sunny day six years ago in 1990. Lucius had been walking through Knockturn Alley when he saw an amazing sight. It was a shop, but not just any shop, it was "Snoop Dawg's (a/n not to be confused with Snoop Dogg) House of Ho's"...
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And another little clip:

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...Three hours later, Lucius sat in front of his lord, his mentor...the one and only Barney. But Barney had decided that he needed Lucius to do something for him first, he needed him to kill Jerry Springer. For, as the big purple dinosaur had said, "That asshole Jerry is stealing all of my best viewers."
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It makes me really sad to see stories like this posted. I'm wandering around like a lost little reader, looking for something good to fill the holes left by wonderful stories I've finished, and I stumble across stuff like this.

I'd say "I'm sure you worked hard on this, Tina Ignatio", but even you say that you did not. So why did you post it? Why did you take space, time, and effort that could have been put towards getting good stories online?

She got five good reviews on it, too. Stupid people, go read good stories and give those writers your feedback! Grump, grump.

Pain, pain, lots of pain.

In trying to comb through these never ending Chapter Owls, I came across this, um, something. Since the summary sounded really close to Chronicles of Lucius, I checked it to make sure no one was ripping Fyre off.

Pain shared is pain halved, so here's your share of it!

Lucius Malfoy and the Magical Pimp Stick

-------------
It had been a normal morning so far for Lucius; he had yelled at Draco, made out with Narcissa, and written a love letter to the Dark Lord. He was now sitting at his desk in his study polishing his cane. No one knew why he had a cane; some assumed that his knees had given out after kissing too many butts of his superiors, others believed that he was simply delusional and believed it was still the early 1900s, but nobody , NOBODY had guessed the truth. It was not a cane, it was in reality a Magical Pimp Stick.

Lucius loved his pimp stick. He polished it, and he talked to it. He was once even found worshiping it in his study; he had been decked out in full pimp attire and had been calling his magical stick "Big Daddy"

When did the love affair between Lucius and his Magical Pimp Stick begin? It all started one sunny day six years ago in 1990. Lucius had been walking through Knockturn Alley when he saw an amazing sight. It was a shop, but not just any shop, it was "Snoop Dawg's (a/n not to be confused with Snoop Dogg) House of Ho's"...
-------------------

And another little clip:

-------------------
...Three hours later, Lucius sat in front of his lord, his mentor...the one and only Barney. But Barney had decided that he needed Lucius to do something for him first, he needed him to kill Jerry Springer. For, as the big purple dinosaur had said, "That asshole Jerry is stealing all of my best viewers."
-------------------

It makes me really sad to see stories like this posted. I'm wandering around like a lost little reader, looking for something good to fill the holes left by wonderful stories I've finished, and I stumble across stuff like this.

I'd say "I'm sure you worked hard on this, Tina Ignatio", but even you say that you did not. So why did you post it? Why did you take space, time, and effort that could have been put towards getting good stories online?

She got five good reviews on it, too. Stupid people, go read good stories and give those writers your feedback! Grump, grump.

Japanese Candy of the Night: Chocolate "Starfish" Kisses!

Since I went shopping the other day, I have lots of candies to choose from. Good candies. Things with cute kittens on them, things with lists of ingredients on them so that I know what I'm getting into. So why am I doing one of the most scary items currently in my bag? Probably for the same reason I ate my veggies first when I was a kid: Get the bad things out of the way first, then you have only good stuff ahead of you. That and bad candies are probably more entertaining to read about than good...

Just how scary are Chocolate Starfish Kisses? (I made up the name, there's not a single word of English on the bag.) Check out this picture of the character on the front of the package. Look at the "mouth". What does that remind you of? Now look at the figure. Looks like chocolate, doesn't it? Put it together with the mouth and get... blech.

So happy-go-lucky Thistle took photos of the front of the package and the back, then opened it up so I could take some of the product itself.

Talk about flashbacks.

The first thing that hit me was a rotten wood smell. Now, I've had lots of experience with Japan's version of chocolate, so I knew to expect a smell (burnt oil), but I was not expecting that awful smell the orange peels had. Without realizing what I was doing, I poured them out of the package. Guess what. They're covered with white powder, just like those peels were. See?

Whimper.

That was about a half hour ago. Once I talked myself into coming out from under my bed and returning to the task at hand, I sniffed them again. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking them chocolate. Maybe (strong maybe) they're root beer? Or cola? The American shorts the chocolate figure thing on the package is wearing might fit with the soda theme... right? (The American shorts are what first attracted me to buying this. If it had American colors, maybe it would be okay to American tastes!)

However, they're enough like those orange peels to make me wary. Very wary. So I squeezed one to see what would happen. They seem to be gummi-like, and whatever that white power on them is, it comes right off. Dare I touch this to my tongue? Perhaps take it into my mouth? Bite it so that it gets stuck in my teeth and I never get the flavor out?

Have I backed down yet?

(Oh look! Photos are finished! I can save and resize and upload them first!)
(All done, but now Catlove is down. Again. Grr.)

So time to taste one!

jdewbvaswn fnejranjrenf fbjreklqbnfjlbbnlkq &^*&809!!

I said to myself that that white powder could NOT be salt. Not not not. It's a candy! This is not orange peel! GAH! Yes, that white coating these things have *is* pure salt. Some sort of super-strong burning Japanese salt! I did the same thing as last time: Just touched it to my tongue, and suddenly my mouth was flooded with burning salt! (Which explains the pucker on the package, I could *feel* all the moisture being drawn to the place that I touched it.)

Gah gah gah, blech! Covering candy with salt! Besides being disgusting, that must be terrible for you! Why is Japan doing this to their own people? Why are they doing it to me?

Sorry, folks. But I'm not eating one. I came, I saw, I tasted it... but I'll go no further than that. (Looking at them closely, they're in a shell of salt. A thick shell. That's insane!) I think I'll save the package though. It's rather... unique.

So a rating for these things? Ha. It can wait in the pile with those orange peels for a scientist to discover a number low enough. (And keep in mind, I like salty things. I sometimes add salt to TV dinners. I love salty popcorn. This is just salty to an insane level!)

Past candy reviews can be found here.

--------
While downloading photos, I noticed I had some of my cat. She likes to sleep on my footrest, even though it's nearly too small for her. See? That plastic bag right behind her is the candy bag of dooooom.

Edited to add: The candy has a website. It's ... really different.

And don't mind the clutter in the cat photo. That's my clutter-corner, right next to my desk. Lots of stuff ends up there until I can deal with it.

Japanese Candy of the Night: Chocolate "Starfish" Kisses!

Since I went shopping the other day, I have lots of candies to choose from. Good candies. Things with cute kittens on them, things with lists of ingredients on them so that I know what I'm getting into. So why am I doing one of the most scary items currently in my bag? Probably for the same reason I ate my veggies first when I was a kid: Get the bad things out of the way first, then you have only good stuff ahead of you. That and bad candies are probably more entertaining to read about than good...

Just how scary are Chocolate Starfish Kisses? (I made up the name, there's not a single word of English on the bag.) Check out this picture of the character on the front of the package. Look at the "mouth". What does that remind you of? Now look at the figure. Looks like chocolate, doesn't it? Put it together with the mouth and get... blech.

So happy-go-lucky Thistle took photos of the front of the package and the back, then opened it up so I could take some of the product itself.

Talk about flashbacks.

The first thing that hit me was a rotten wood smell. Now, I've had lots of experience with Japan's version of chocolate, so I knew to expect a smell (burnt oil), but I was not expecting that awful smell the orange peels had. Without realizing what I was doing, I poured them out of the package. Guess what. They're covered with white powder, just like those peels were. See?

Whimper.

That was about a half hour ago. Once I talked myself into coming out from under my bed and returning to the task at hand, I sniffed them again. Perhaps I was wrong in thinking them chocolate. Maybe (strong maybe) they're root beer? Or cola? The American shorts the chocolate figure thing on the package is wearing might fit with the soda theme... right? (The American shorts are what first attracted me to buying this. If it had American colors, maybe it would be okay to American tastes!)

However, they're enough like those orange peels to make me wary. Very wary. So I squeezed one to see what would happen. They seem to be gummi-like, and whatever that white power on them is, it comes right off. Dare I touch this to my tongue? Perhaps take it into my mouth? Bite it so that it gets stuck in my teeth and I never get the flavor out?

Have I backed down yet?

(Oh look! Photos are finished! I can save and resize and upload them first!)
(All done, but now Catlove is down. Again. Grr.)

So time to taste one!

jdewbvaswn fnejranjrenf fbjreklqbnfjlbbnlkq &^*&809!!

I said to myself that that white powder could NOT be salt. Not not not. It's a candy! This is not orange peel! GAH! Yes, that white coating these things have *is* pure salt. Some sort of super-strong burning Japanese salt! I did the same thing as last time: Just touched it to my tongue, and suddenly my mouth was flooded with burning salt! (Which explains the pucker on the package, I could *feel* all the moisture being drawn to the place that I touched it.)

Gah gah gah, blech! Covering candy with salt! Besides being disgusting, that must be terrible for you! Why is Japan doing this to their own people? Why are they doing it to me?

Sorry, folks. But I'm not eating one. I came, I saw, I tasted it... but I'll go no further than that. (Looking at them closely, they're in a shell of salt. A thick shell. That's insane!) I think I'll save the package though. It's rather... unique.

So a rating for these things? Ha. It can wait in the pile with those orange peels for a scientist to discover a number low enough. (And keep in mind, I like salty things. I sometimes add salt to TV dinners. I love salty popcorn. This is just salty to an insane level!)

Past candy reviews can be found here.

--------
While downloading photos, I noticed I had some of my cat. She likes to sleep on my footrest, even though it's nearly too small for her. See? That plastic bag right behind her is the candy bag of dooooom.

Edited to add: The candy has a website. It's ... really different.

And don't mind the clutter in the cat photo. That's my clutter-corner, right next to my desk. Lots of stuff ends up there until I can deal with it.