Summaries the owls refused to bring...

[thistlechaser]

More ChapterOwl fun. I keep falling behind on reading these, so we have a lot of "good" ones tonight.

The first one sets the tone for the rest of the post:

A Post-Hogwarts fic that has Harry and Ron going on a adventure with a thousand drugs.

Features a corned beef eating!

Dumbledore is an old yittish woman called the Matchmaker.

this story doesn't have much of a point...

Always a big selling point:
Look for dialog in the new chapter

Stop reading at this point if you wish to keep your brain in one piece. No logic beyond this point.

Drucila Weasley, cousin to Ronald and the others is coming to Hogwarts. Placed in Harry's sixth year. She comes from Durmstrang and she is absolutely disgusted by Harry Potter. All seems well on the train until they get a message that Hogwarts has collapsed. How did it happen? Where will they stay? What house will Dru be in?

Ginny loves Harry, but Harry is gay. So what does Ginny do? Sleeps with anyone she can get her hands on.

Harry finally comes round and realises Snape is indeed his father. What now? Dumbledore has a plan but how does Harry feel about becoming Salazar Snape?

When a new charcater comes to Hogwarts, some things are changed around. Young, smart, and a genius, Artemis Riddle is transferred.

Title: An Unnamed Ending for the Whole Series
Summary: This is the ending to the entire series. It is actually good, even though it does not have a proper title. Anyways, it's about the final showdown between Harry and Voldemort.

a new evil mastermind is afoot....join Harry, Draco and eight other members of Hogwarts as they venture through hikari island.

So join me and the entire Hogwarts student body of ten people in fleeing these fics.

Comments

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I wanted to reply to you, but first I had to laugh at your new "name".

I also have to tell you I wrote Crookshanks/Mrs. Norris for hp100, just for you.

Anyway, it looks to me like the authors of these fics have been on an adventure with a thousand drugs, and possibly some corned beef as well. For some reason the last one is giving me Harry Potter / James Bond crossover bunnies.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Heeheehee. I felt it was time for a new name.

I saw and loved the story! (So hard not to typo with my cat on my hand on part of the keyboard, forgive any.) Yay for Mrs. Norris getting some love!

Snicker! Avoid any bunnies produced by these! They're poisonous!

[rushlight75.livejournal.com]

*giggle* I didn't even notice the new name until isiscolo pointed it out. Very cute. :D

These are far, far too funny, whether or not the authors intended them to be. I want to point out the ones I laughed at the most, but I'd end up quoting them all back to you. Though I think my favorite is the one where Ginny sleeps with the whole school when she finds out Harry's gay. *snort* Yeah, that'll show him.

Thanks for sharing these. I needed a laugh. *g*

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you like it. :)

Yeah, the Ginny one made me stare for a moment, then I laughed out loud. It's just... just... gah! Heehee.

[cursive.livejournal.com]

I'm very scared by "Features a corned beef eating!" My first concern was with what the corned beef might be eating, but I've ended up more nervous about the exclamation mark.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Heehee. Isn't that one just the best? I have this mental image of a big chunk of beef slithering through the school, eating the students it comes across.

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

"Features a corned beef eating"

Well...this type of fic is incredibly hard to pull off, so hats off to the brave author. I admit my reluctance to use a "corned beef eating" in my "Devil's Series". I wouldn't have the foggiest clue how to A. Make it believable and B. Make it true to canon. It's a sensitive subject area that needs to be handled with kid gloves, because hey, if you write it incorrectly, NOBODY'S coming back to read the next chapter.

~webbapettigrew

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*laughs lots* Well, this is a magical world, right? Spells and potions go wrong all the time. You could pull it off! I trust in you!

:)

[dementordelta.livejournal.com]

Hmm, too bad we can't use all the summaries and blend them into one large fic..Maybe Artemis Riddle can end up with Drucila Weasley, and Snape and Ginny (hey, she's sleeping with everybody, right?) can get together on hikari island. Darn plot bu...no, just no.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*rolls* Oh, that'd be so funny and so painful!

[perardua.livejournal.com]

*weeps for humanity*

I really need to keep a closer eye on those ChapterOwls. I'm missing out on comedy gold, evidently.

Might even venture onto ff.net...

*laughs nervously at the thought*

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Heehee, I know! I can't believe I missed all this fun until I started reading them closer!

[laurelwood.livejournal.com]

Dammit. That "yittish" Dumbledore's put "Fiddler on the Roof" melodies in my head.

Dumbledore, Dumbledore, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch! Dumbledore, Dumbledore, cast me a spell, and find me a perfect match. For Mama, make him a pureblood, for Papa, make him good at Dark Arts; for me, well, I wouldn't holler if he knew his way round Arithmancy charts!

Ahem. Sorry. Slinking off now. :)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

*dies* Oh god, that's too funny! That's such a story idea, too: Dumbledore is turned into a female matchmaker, and marries off Harry and Snape. Of course, this would need to be a mpreg story as well!

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

*applauds madly*