Bad Summaries of a Different Sort
Sep. 18th, 2003 07:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thistlechaserSo we have something of a mess here in California, right? People want to recall the governor.
We were sent a booklet, and in it all of the candidates could write up a paragraph about themselves. It's a sad, sad thing. How about some quotes from it? (Anything in italics will be from me.)
* Dear Voters, please vote for me, thus breaking the Seventh Seal and incurring Armageddon... -Trek Thunder Kelly
* ...I dream like Martin Luther King, for my Grand Children. Please vote for me and let us bring back the Glory of the Golden State. God Bless You and God bless California! As John F. Kennedy said, ask not what the state can do, but what you can do for the state. My Childhood Hero! -Vik S. Bajwa
Forget about the mangled quote, we had better not end up with someone who cannot grasp the rules of basic capitalization!
* My recent research has uncovered why children raised by single dads do better than children raised by single moms, why men now earn less money than women for the same work, why our sons now do worse in school than our daughters... -Warren Farrell
I think someone forgot to take his reality pill this morning...
* Please vote. (URL) -Way too many people.
Please vote for you because you cannot be bothered to write a single paragraph about yourself?
* You know the wonderful world that exists in television comedies -- a world where no matter what problems or conflicts arise, people work together to overcome any obstacle and, maybe, learn a little something? Wouldn't you like California to be like that? ... If elected, he pledges to solve all the state's problems in twenty-two minutes and forty-four seconds with two commercial breaks and a hug at the end. After all this turmoil, isn't this just what California needs? - Bill Prady
* I breathe. -Kevin Richter
That's the whole thing.
* May the Lord give you the wisdom of Solomon as you vote. I pray that the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God will guide me in all decisions... -Diane Beall Templin
Separation of church and state. Separation of church and state. Separation of church and state. (Repeat as needed until this bad woman goes away.)
* With my skills as a filmmaker and arts administrator, I will work to return common sense to the California government. - Sorraine (Abner Zurd) Fontanes
...
As if all that wasn't bad enough, some of these people are fighting to give illegal immigrants funding to go to college here! And drivers licenses! GAH GAH GAH! They don't even want to call them "illegal immigrants" anymore. "Non-native Californians" and things along those lines. ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL! They should not be here, period, end of story! The only way I would ever agree to this is if every single *LEGAL* American got a free college education, and we just couldn't think of a single way to use up the rest of the money we needed to spend.
Insanity. Grr.
We were sent a booklet, and in it all of the candidates could write up a paragraph about themselves. It's a sad, sad thing. How about some quotes from it? (Anything in italics will be from me.)
* Dear Voters, please vote for me, thus breaking the Seventh Seal and incurring Armageddon... -Trek Thunder Kelly
* ...I dream like Martin Luther King, for my Grand Children. Please vote for me and let us bring back the Glory of the Golden State. God Bless You and God bless California! As John F. Kennedy said, ask not what the state can do, but what you can do for the state. My Childhood Hero! -Vik S. Bajwa
Forget about the mangled quote, we had better not end up with someone who cannot grasp the rules of basic capitalization!
* My recent research has uncovered why children raised by single dads do better than children raised by single moms, why men now earn less money than women for the same work, why our sons now do worse in school than our daughters... -Warren Farrell
I think someone forgot to take his reality pill this morning...
* Please vote. (URL) -Way too many people.
Please vote for you because you cannot be bothered to write a single paragraph about yourself?
* You know the wonderful world that exists in television comedies -- a world where no matter what problems or conflicts arise, people work together to overcome any obstacle and, maybe, learn a little something? Wouldn't you like California to be like that? ... If elected, he pledges to solve all the state's problems in twenty-two minutes and forty-four seconds with two commercial breaks and a hug at the end. After all this turmoil, isn't this just what California needs? - Bill Prady
* I breathe. -Kevin Richter
That's the whole thing.
* May the Lord give you the wisdom of Solomon as you vote. I pray that the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God will guide me in all decisions... -Diane Beall Templin
Separation of church and state. Separation of church and state. Separation of church and state. (Repeat as needed until this bad woman goes away.)
* With my skills as a filmmaker and arts administrator, I will work to return common sense to the California government. - Sorraine (Abner Zurd) Fontanes
...
As if all that wasn't bad enough, some of these people are fighting to give illegal immigrants funding to go to college here! And drivers licenses! GAH GAH GAH! They don't even want to call them "illegal immigrants" anymore. "Non-native Californians" and things along those lines. ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL! They should not be here, period, end of story! The only way I would ever agree to this is if every single *LEGAL* American got a free college education, and we just couldn't think of a single way to use up the rest of the money we needed to spend.
Insanity. Grr.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-18 08:05 pm (UTC)And I totally agree with you re immigration policies in CA.
Illegal immirgration is one of the very few things that I seem to agree with Bill O'Reilly about. I would love to see a complete overhaul of the system, so that it's not necessarily any harder to get into the country legally, but that it's harder for people who snuck in to stay here. But I recognise that I have no ideas for an actual plan since I don't study immigration or anything. ^^;
I think that one of the problems is that so much of CA's infrastructure (especially agriculture) seems to depend on high numbers of illegal immigrants doing the work Americans don't want to do.
But, and I'm more heartless than I really feel here, if they're supposed to be coming to the US because the crap jobs no one else wants are still better than what they can find in Mexico, why would we be paying them to get an education that they legally can't use here? Or if they do, it's from an employer breaking the law /and/ not hiring someone legally allowed to work here who could really use a job. There are thousands of citizens and legal residents who would jump at the chance to have part of their college education paid for, and who have just as much a chance, if not more, of being an upstanding tax-paying citizen.
Argh. This is one of several topics that put me into head explodey mode, so I'll stop thinking about it now. *calms down*
no subject
Date: 2003-09-18 10:23 pm (UTC)I think that one of the problems is that so much of CA's infrastructure (especially agriculture) seems to depend on high numbers of illegal immigrants doing the work Americans don't want to do.
There is the problem of that, yeah... and I don't have an answer for it. I agree on the rest of what you said, too.