Some amusing person named
dazz wrote up a funny as heck parody of The Passion of the Christ. I know I just posted a short while ago, but I wanted to share this link because I love you all! Really! Laughter is good for the soul and helps keep you healthy (right?), so go read and snicker!
Whole thing here (just scroll down a little, to the bold).
Quotes:
Meanwhile, not far away, in Israel...
Jesus: "So, like, just be nice to everyone."
Followers: "Gotcha, be nice to everyone except Romans, Homosexuals, Other Faiths, Other Races, Prostitutes and Sinners."
Jesus: "...Uh, no. Be nice to everyone."
Followers: ".....What, even Homosexuals?"
Jesus: "Yes."
Followers: "Other religions?"
Jesus: "Yes."
Followers: "Surely not prostitutes and sinners?"
Jesus: "Yes!"
Followers: "What, even people we don't like?!!?!?"
Jesus: "YES!!! Especially people you don't like! ARGH! You morons give me such a headache. I'll be in the Garden of Gethsemane, having a migraine."
And:
Jesus: "Oh, man, this is horrible. I just really hope that centuries from now, when this story is told to my followers, the full gory details of my savage and barbaric murder isn't explained in full graphic detail to the children, and then be told they're to blame for it."
Okay, I've spolied you enough. There are more funny bits there (I especially liked the Peter part), so go read the whole thing!
Whole thing here (just scroll down a little, to the bold).
Quotes:
Meanwhile, not far away, in Israel...
Jesus: "So, like, just be nice to everyone."
Followers: "Gotcha, be nice to everyone except Romans, Homosexuals, Other Faiths, Other Races, Prostitutes and Sinners."
Jesus: "...Uh, no. Be nice to everyone."
Followers: ".....What, even Homosexuals?"
Jesus: "Yes."
Followers: "Other religions?"
Jesus: "Yes."
Followers: "Surely not prostitutes and sinners?"
Jesus: "Yes!"
Followers: "What, even people we don't like?!!?!?"
Jesus: "YES!!! Especially people you don't like! ARGH! You morons give me such a headache. I'll be in the Garden of Gethsemane, having a migraine."
And:
Jesus: "Oh, man, this is horrible. I just really hope that centuries from now, when this story is told to my followers, the full gory details of my savage and barbaric murder isn't explained in full graphic detail to the children, and then be told they're to blame for it."
Okay, I've spolied you enough. There are more funny bits there (I especially liked the Peter part), so go read the whole thing!