Case of the Blahs. (RL, FFXI, The Admin)
Jun. 29th, 2005 10:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Even with my sick day yesterday, I'm feeling oddly down. I suppose I'm just headed into one of my depressed cycles. Usually that comes with sleeplessness, but I finally learned a trick that gets around that (thank god).
It's really hard dragging myself through work. All I want to do is stay in bed and put the covers over my head. Nothing especially bad is happening, I just can't deal with people around me at the moment.
Perhaps related to that, I feel myself drifting away from FFXI. The vast, vast majority of my time on the game I'm just not having fun. When I do have fun, it's almost always from chatting with friends on it, not the game itself. Everything in the game is just so darned redundant. Yesterday we talked a little about leveling jobs, and I just don't get where people see the fun in it. Even the one job I like isn't fun to level. Getting levels is nice, but the hours of doing the exact same thing? Not so fun.
And when I'm not leveling? Game life gets even more redundant. Farming, chocobo digging, crafting? Blah. It's boring. (Yeah, there are quests I can do, but those feel more like work than anything interesting.)
But anyway, this wasn't going to be a post about FFXI. How about something better? Like The Administration!
msmanna asked me if I had realized who "not-Anne" was in First Against The Wall (the woman who gave Toreth the scarf outside the bar, near the end of the story).
Payne's wife! Her ring had MP on it and she was blonde. I can't recall if we ever heard Payne's wife's first name, but it seems to fit! And boy oh boy was I happy to realize it must be her. I liked Payne and I was oddly depressed at how Toreth let him know that he had been used. Eeee! She's going to give him another chance! :)
In some ways I think The Admin brought on my current down feelings (not its fault though!). I'm feeling much like I had after reading all the old PokeMUSH logs (which ironically covered many of the same themes as Admin did). It's not because of the darkness in the stories/logs (I think), it's that I'm nearly at the end of it. (I'm in the middle of Family Values now.) I can always reread the stories, but there will never be a first time again...
It's really hard dragging myself through work. All I want to do is stay in bed and put the covers over my head. Nothing especially bad is happening, I just can't deal with people around me at the moment.
Perhaps related to that, I feel myself drifting away from FFXI. The vast, vast majority of my time on the game I'm just not having fun. When I do have fun, it's almost always from chatting with friends on it, not the game itself. Everything in the game is just so darned redundant. Yesterday we talked a little about leveling jobs, and I just don't get where people see the fun in it. Even the one job I like isn't fun to level. Getting levels is nice, but the hours of doing the exact same thing? Not so fun.
And when I'm not leveling? Game life gets even more redundant. Farming, chocobo digging, crafting? Blah. It's boring. (Yeah, there are quests I can do, but those feel more like work than anything interesting.)
But anyway, this wasn't going to be a post about FFXI. How about something better? Like The Administration!
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Payne's wife! Her ring had MP on it and she was blonde. I can't recall if we ever heard Payne's wife's first name, but it seems to fit! And boy oh boy was I happy to realize it must be her. I liked Payne and I was oddly depressed at how Toreth let him know that he had been used. Eeee! She's going to give him another chance! :)
In some ways I think The Admin brought on my current down feelings (not its fault though!). I'm feeling much like I had after reading all the old PokeMUSH logs (which ironically covered many of the same themes as Admin did). It's not because of the darkness in the stories/logs (I think), it's that I'm nearly at the end of it. (I'm in the middle of Family Values now.) I can always reread the stories, but there will never be a first time again...
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Date: 2005-06-29 06:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-29 06:48 pm (UTC)For me, my sleeping problem is that I think about too much stuff. Serious stuff, stupid stuff, it just endlessly cycles through my head. So I start counting at one, and I count slowly, one number for each breath. The trick is: If you think even one single thought, you have to go back to one and try again. Once I finally succeed in stopping thinking about things, I almost always fall asleep before hitting 20. Works like a dream! :)
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Date: 2005-06-29 06:16 pm (UTC)but I finally learned a trick that gets around that (thank god).
Really? What? I find the key to falling asleep quickly is stress-free fandom thoughts. Even if RL is going well, I obsess too much about what I did and what tomorrow will be like and if I've forgotten something important and start having imaginary conversations with people and on and on. (I was feeling really depressed for the past couple of days, and it finally dawned on me that it's because I kept sleeping only four hours a night. Got ten hours last night and the difference is amazing. Have you seen a doctor about your sleep patterns recently?)
In some ways I think The Admin brought on my current down feelings [...] not because of the darkness in the stories/logs (I think), it's that I'm nearly at the end of it.
I get that way, too. There's this one fan author who I /love/, but I haven't completely read their most famous story because I'm kinda... saving it up for a time when I might need something I know will be wonderful and new. (This is why I am not looking forward to the last HP book at /all/.)
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Date: 2005-06-29 08:37 pm (UTC)You should, for sure! And make sure you let me know what you think about it. :)
Even if RL is going well, I obsess too much about what I did and what tomorrow will be like and if I've forgotten something important and start having imaginary conversations with people and on and on.
That's exactly my problem, too. Too much thinking, too many conversations with people in my head (doesn't that make me sound crazy!), just not being able to shut my brain down. And so I count. No sheep, just count. (And I only do this after I've tried and failed to fall asleep, not every night.) I start at one and count one number for each breath. Counting slowly = breathing slowly, but the trick is that I have to not think about anything. If I think even one thought, I need to start the count back at one.
I tell myself if I ever got to 100 and couldn't sleep that I'd get up, but I've never gotten past 20 (or rarely, I think I hit 30 once) of counting slowly with no thoughts in my head.
There's this one fan author who I /love/, but I haven't completely read their most famous story because I'm kinda... saving it up for a time when I might need something I know will be wonderful and new.
I know exactly what you mean!
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Date: 2005-06-29 06:18 pm (UTC)Being blue sucks. :( I'm MUCH fonder of Red!! =^.^=
In regards to FFXI; The people are what make it fun. The game itself as far as I can tell pretty much sucks thanks to all the road blocks built into the system.
That said, I /do/ still enjoy it. Leveling is great when you get 'groove' going with everyone doing their thing and doing it right. Doing missions isn't fun for the missions themselves, but for the storyline revelations and cut scenes you get. At least for me. :)
I'm with you on the redundancy being annoying. :) I'm also with you on the most fun being doing stuff with friends. I always look forward to Eco. Sure the Gil and XP are nice, but the feeling of belonging to the shell, the sense of community and comeraderie is what makes it all fun. I was SO proud of myself last night.
I went in as BLM, and I was responsible for sleeping one of the WyrmFlies. I was all nervous I was going to screw it up, but it felt really good to DO something important, and do it right on my first try thanks to Draque's suggestion I modify the macro for Sleep to include /ja "elemental seal" and /wait 1 after that. So smooth! I even cast the spell that defeated one of them, so I really felt good. :)
Anyway, enough about me. I think that you're one of the best people on the shell. You've never been anything but supportive, and fun to be around. I enjoy teasing you, I enjoy defending you from LOLDRK comments, I enjoy chatting, and email and look forward to seeing you in your panties that everyone likes to kvetch about. :) In short; you're one of the people that makes the game worth playing. :)
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Date: 2005-06-29 08:43 pm (UTC)Yeah, Eco is really fun. I'm so annoyed that I missed it yesterday! I can't believe I thought yesterday was Monday... Grrr. It's only the second Eco I've missed since December! (I missed it then because I lost track of what day it was, too.)
and look forward to seeing you in your panties that everyone likes to kvetch about. :)
...you haven't seen me in my panties yet? You had to have had. Gah, if you haven't, we'll need to correct that! Stat!
In short; you're one of the people that makes the game worth playing. :)
Eek! *BLUSH* Thanks! <3
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Date: 2005-06-29 08:51 pm (UTC)Eco is fun, and I was surprised not to see you there. :/
And of COURSE I've seen them. Several times. :) My intent was to say that I think that it is funny that you run around in them so much. I also love everyone's reactions to them. =^.^= But if you want to model them for me again, that's fine, because it means I get to see you!! :)
*grin* And you /are/ one of the people that makes the game worth playing for me. :)
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Date: 2005-06-29 09:37 pm (UTC)I sort of remember the movie, and hee! That's perfect! Okay, you're just the right amount of nice! :)
And of COURSE I've seen them. Several times. :)
Oh, good! Jokes about missing yesterday aside, I really do forget lots of things. :P I'm glad you've seen them! Everyone should! Heh heh heh.
*grin* And you /are/ one of the people that makes the game worth playing for me. :)
Stop trying to make me blush! *smooch* :D <-- "*smooch" + " :D " = Opened mouth kiss? Hee!
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Date: 2005-06-29 09:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-29 09:52 pm (UTC)Stop encouraging him!
(Of course, this has yet to dissuade Jaide any... ^_~)
~Cydori
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Date: 2005-06-29 09:57 pm (UTC)As to encouraging him...everyone else seems to like beating on his head, or giving him a hard time. I'm just ... um ... taking the road less travelled! Yeah. That's it. =^.~=
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Date: 2005-06-29 10:08 pm (UTC)And you and Jaide seem to be the only ones travelling that road. ^_~ I'll stick to tossing Thistle around Vana'diel. ;p
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Date: 2005-06-29 10:20 pm (UTC)I like your icon, it is very pretty. :)
So what is this 'yukata' you speak of? :)
As to your road...why, that's yours to travel! I like mine, you like yours, and Thistle LUSTS the attention so it is all good. *giggles*
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Date: 2005-06-30 12:25 am (UTC)Thanks! ^_^
You can kind of see the yukata in my icon. Have you seen people running around with purple or blue patterned gis? Those are the "yukata" that were given out as prizes during last year's Summerfest. I won't give details yet in case they do something like it again this year, but it was a lot of fun. ^^ (And if you remind me, I'll bring mine to Eco.)
"Lusts the attention..." That's one I haven't heard before, but it's very appropriate. ;p
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Date: 2005-06-30 01:37 am (UTC)http://www.hot-hot-hot-catlove.com/ffxi/07-26-fireworks1.jpg
http://www.hot-hot-hot-catlove.com/ffxi/07-26-fireworks2.jpg -- this one was my desktop image at work for a while.
http://www.hot-hot-hot-catlove.com/ffxi/08-19-scooping.jpg -- Part of Summerfest was goldfish scooping. The yukata gave you better success. Ead should never, ever wear a subligar.
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Date: 2005-06-29 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-29 09:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-06-29 09:25 pm (UTC)And you were missed at Eco last night.
I think everyone gets to the point where they need a break from the game, or it simply doesn't have the appeal and drive that it once did. Just don't forget all about us, okay? ^_^
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Date: 2005-06-29 09:34 pm (UTC)I'm so old, losing my memory. ;)
Just don't forget all about us, okay? ^_^
Ha! I couldn't forget about you all if I tried! Yay Cyber! ;)
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Date: 2005-06-29 09:33 pm (UTC)I need to edge towards leaving more often!
(Sorry. :P More seriously, I don't expect it'll be forever. It might not even be for too long. If nothing else, I get bored really easily and FFXI is good for killing time. Even during this little break I'm having, I'm not totally gone. I was on twice yesterday, if only for a halfhour each time. And if I had remembered that yesterday was Tuesday I would have been at Eco, too!)
*snugs lots*
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Date: 2005-07-01 10:58 pm (UTC)She's called Marianne -- he tells Sara in the coffeeroom. :-)
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Date: 2005-07-02 03:26 am (UTC)I'm in the process of rereading the series now. In theory it's so I can read slower and pick up the little things I missed... but I find that I really want to read through the series as fast as I did the first time. :P
But no matter my inability to read slower, I'm still finding new things to like. Warner (from MF), for example. He only gets a couple paragraphs, but still! I'm finding him so interesting!
"He had a combative stance, legs apart, heavy shoulders braced, leaning a little forwards. At the same time, his gaze kept flicking away from Toreth's face, searching the interrogation room, before returning to glare for a few seconds. Overall, it left an odd impression of aggressive disinterest."
That makes him sound so much like an animal, some big predator, barely hidden behind a human shape. :)
And so many great wording of phrases! "rare as rockinghorse shit" is one I remember off-hand, but there were a ton of other things I liked, too.
And and and! (And this comment is getting as long as a feedback-email to you, sorry! :P ) And I figured something out that turned out to be funny: I knew a British person for a couple years, so a lot of the British wording of things didn't throw me... but the whole giving gifts at New Years and the "I wouldn't add him to your New Years card list" comment had me just boggling. How could I know the different wording British folks use, but miss something so big as New Years being more important than Christmas? Then I realized it. It wasn't a British thing, it was an Admin-world thing! Heehee!
Thanks!
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Date: 2005-07-08 11:56 pm (UTC)Cool :-) I always liked Warner, even though I never got to use him again. He's a good interrogator-ish interrogator.
Then I realized it. It wasn't a British thing, it was an Admin-world thing!
Heh :-)