People boggle me

[thistlechaser]

When given the choice of being mean or being nice, why do so many people choose to be assholes? When your options are to be helpful or hurtful, especially if it's a situation you're in the middle of, why would you be mean?

I've never hidden the fact that I don't like random people. I don't understand them, I don't understand how so many of them can just be bad, I mean like inside them. Mean on purpose, mean by choice. Sure there are some people who aren't bad and a few that are good, but so many people are bad and I don't understand why.

When it came to pass that I would have to start random partying on FFXI, I really hoped that I was wrong. (Which would be amusing, if you knew my whole life history. So many times I've hoped to be wrong about people, hoped that for some reason people would magically turn good/nice/helpful/reasonable/human, and I'm wrong each and every time. Quite clearly I never learn!) But with rare, rare, rare exception, the "best" people I have met while random partying were neutral ones -- ones that were just "not assholes", not nice or kind or funny or mature, just not the worst of the worst.

This is probably an overly dramatic way of leading in to me saying that tonight was one of my worst nights on FFXI in a long time. After two hours of seeking a party (and of course no invites), finally enough people were seeking so I could make one. (And dammit, I even had a RDM! PLD, WHM, BLM, RDM! I was finally giving these ever-bitching people what they wanted!) To fill the last slot, I asked a DRG. I always try to give invites to the people who get so few of them (DRG, MNK, THF). Big mistake on my part.

My very first /tell to Stefoni was "Would you be interested in pulling for an {experience point} {party} in {Bib Bay}?". Even when dealing with SAMs and THFs (jobs people would expect to pull with) I always phrase it like that. I want everyone to be clear what I'm asking them to do in a party. (And yes, usually I would not use someone's name in a post, but in this case I'd happily take out a neon sign with her name on it.)

So this HNM LS "winner" arrives, and the first thing she does is bitch at me about pulling. Hello? There was a THF seeking, I could have grabbed him! I was trying to be nice by asking you! But she pulls, all the while making 'onry' and other anti-JP "jokes" over /party (we had two JP members). I almost told her to cut it out, but I didn't want to break up the party over it. (And we'll just ignore the fact that she didn't have/use her wyvern at all the whole time.)

After a couple fights, she starts bitching about the XP, the SCs, everything. Finally she announces that the party should move to the Tree. No one replies, so she says it again, then a third time. Finally two others said okay, and I said I'd do what the party wanted. So we moved.

First fight in the Tree was a link and near wipe. Second fight she pulls 4 crawlers (which thankfully lost interest as she crossed water). Before the third fight she says the party has to break up. I (and others) asked why. "drk doesn't have gs leveled. all SCs suck with him. u need to level it!" I was torn between snapping at her, kicking her from the party, and crying/disconnecting. But instead I calmly said that I was working on it. She replied that the XP was sucking too much and she was leaving. The JP WHM said he was tired and we decided to break.

Hours seeking: 2
Hours partying: 2
Exp earned: 3K (with 1K "free" from the band)

I'm to the point of thinking that I must be a very stupid person. Seriously and deeply stupid. Why in the world am I doing this? Why am I putting up with all of these people? A "good" party has not yet been anything other than one that doesn't totally and utterly suck. That counts as "good". My average XP since random partying is probably lower than 2K/hour now. I'm having less than zero fun (negative fun, woo!), I'm a hell of a lot more stressed out by this crap than I am by my RL job-work, so why am I still doing this?

There's only one answer: I'm really stupid and I never learn.

Tomorrow I go back to WoW.

Comments

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

this is why i never, ever group unless with people i know and trust. i'd rather make next to no exp and have fun killing alone than deal with groups. gick.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I wish soloing was an option, but it'd likely get me dead fast. :/ I'm just going to take a nice little break on WoW for a while, hide from people...

[loneguardian.livejournal.com]

(And we'll just ignore the fact that she didn't have/use her wyvern at all the whole time.)

WTF. Just... WTF. Seriously. I knew she was a lousy player, but... Jeez. Hon if you EVER party with a DRG who pulls shit like that without a damn good reason (2hour being down, or fighting nasty things with AOEdrain like Bones), kick them if you're leader and invite someone else. c.c Do not put up with nonsense like that. Ever.

[draymor.livejournal.com]

What I was thinking as well. Only thing in Bikini bay that are not wyvern friendly are goblins.

As for Crawlers, running into the water makes them lose interest, so it's not anything to really panic over. IMO it might've been faster to just pull the bunch and leave them all by the water rather than wait for them to stop making out. Damned over-sexed catapillars.

I don't know if it's your server or level range but I've met some really cool folks with pick-up parties. On the other hand, during my 50-56 range I had so many bad players I never want to live through it again. (RDMs that where taru RSE and melee? fun!) Wonderful that my SMN is at 52... Of course, it's probably doubly hard when you grew up with a static since the level of familiarity is unmatched no matter how good your strangers are.

Times like these you just gotta ask yourself what's more important to you, hitting that next level or (what's left of) your sanity? I had oggles of fun with my AF quests (LOL it's TRUE!! >>) and limits. I was also playing 12 hours a day and punched through 56-64 in 2 weeks XD In the end, I caught up with my tank friend and as an unwritten rule we never PT without the other anymore XD (which is suck because I can't play much right now)

Bleh, how I ramble. I guess what I'm trying to say is, cliche as it may sound, doing something else for a while, change jobs and don't even think aobut joining a party. If all else fails, smacking around bunnies does wonders for the depressed XD

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

IMO it might've been faster to just pull the bunch and leave them all by the water rather than wait for them to stop making out.

Could be, but she also linked her fly pulls and she should have linked her one dhalmel pull (I have no idea how they didn't, they were standing right next to each other...).

Of course, it's probably doubly hard when you grew up with a static since the level of familiarity is unmatched no matter how good your strangers are.

That coud very well be a big part of it, yeah.

Times like these you just gotta ask yourself what's more important to you, hitting that next level or (what's left of) your sanity?

Exactly. So I'll take a couple days off, hide in WoW, then maybe I'll be able to come back and go through this cycle again. :P

smacking around bunnies does wonders for the depressed XD

Hee! I love the sound they make when they die!

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

It's amusing to say now, but at the time I hadn't asked her because I didn't want to embarrass her. I figured her two hour was down (because otherwise why wouldn't a DRG call theirs out if the setting was safe?), so why should I make her feel uncomfortable by pointing it out?

So ironic: She bitched that the party wasn't able to do enough damage and kill things fast enough to chain. Um, hm, wonder why that might have been?

[draymor.livejournal.com]

Could be, but she also linked her fly pulls and she should have linked her one dhalmel pull (I have no idea how they didn't, they were standing right next to each other...).

Ok, then it's just a case of (pardon my french) zomg-I-can't-pull-s**t-out-of-my-a**-to-save-my-life-ness then. ^^; (pardon the language, I just got up and I'm cranky XD)


She bitched that the party wasn't able to do enough damage and kill things fast enough to chain. Um, hm, wonder why that might have been?

Because all Drg are gimped with or without their pet? (I don't mean that >>; put that flamethrower away >>)
She's not helping the job's image, that's for sure.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

It takes quite a pair of 'em to complain about party damage when you've willingly gimped yourself...

[loneguardian.livejournal.com]

Niceness has its limits. ;3 Always ask if the DRG isn't using their wyvern, and if you don't want to be the bad guy, I will! XD There's no excuse. Even with goblins, one can always use spirit link and keep their wyvern out. I put Kagero away for bones 'cause they spam drain and he gives them an extra 100-200 HP each time they drain. @_@ Not good. Other than that, he's an extra hate-free 25% of my total damage added atop what I'm already doing.

Learning experience! Don't put up with stupid shit from people who gimp themselves. In any job. ;3 She seriously needs someone to beat some sense into her. And don't even get me started on the 'zomg no GS leveled' bit. c_c Any skillchain is better than none. My static did freaking Transfixion and Gravitation for a ton of levels 'cause DRG and MNK don't chain well before Wheeling Thrust and Dragon Kick. ~_~ Morons need to die. A lot. Grar.

Damn I'm a bitch this morning. o.o/ *wanders off to get breakfast*

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, next time! *shakes fist* People won't get away with that with me again!

:)

[gbeans.livejournal.com]

I know this won't make you feel better in the least, but Stefoni is an asshole. PV is currently the laughting-stock of the server and there's a damn good reason for that. Don't like them color your judgement about everyone else. You didn't say anything was wrong with anyone else in the party, was there? Was one bad apple the spoil of the barrel?

At times like this I kinda wish I could implant knowledge of people into others heads x.x I wouldn't have invited Stefoni, though your heart is definitely in the right place. Don't let one jerk ruin that :|

[pomr.livejournal.com]

Maybe we should make a list of 'Craptastics' to avoid?

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I was thinking that I personally should be keeping some sort of "People never to party with" list on paper, otherwise I might forget someone and end up with them again.

Right now it's only two people (her and Merk the SMN), but eventually the list will probably grow to the point where I might forget someone.

[loneguardian.livejournal.com]

I was thinking that I personally should be keeping some sort of "People never to party with" list on paper

I have one! It's called a /blacklist. ;3 Bwahaha~

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I have tons of people on my blist, and not all of them for "not partying with" reasons. If someone lol's too much, they could end up on my blist. If they make stupid poop/fart jokes, they could end up on it... yet a day hasn't gone by that I haven't been forced to party with idiots like that.

[pomr.livejournal.com]

There are NON-stupid Poop/Fart jokes? @.@;;;

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Good point. No.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I know this won't make you feel better in the least, but Stefoni is an asshole. PV is currently the laughting-stock of the server and there's a damn good reason for that.

Last night it wouldn't have helped, but this morning it does a little. I've read through three pages of the comment-replies about the whole e.body mess, and I'm feeling a little better. (It's mean that others' pain/problems make me feel better, but the whole of PV appears to deserve it.)

You didn't say anything was wrong with anyone else in the party, was there? Was one bad apple the spoil of the barrel?

Other than the JP WHM and JP RDM (who seemed rather nice, even though I could hardly communicate with them), most of the party was that neutral "are these people even really here?" no-personality types. The BLM didn't know his job to the point I figured he was a bought character, but no one other than Stefoni was really bad.

At times like this I kinda wish I could implant knowledge of people into others heads x.x I wouldn't have invited Stefoni, though your heart is definitely in the right place. Don't let one jerk ruin that :|

How that I've had a night's distance on this, I can agree with that. This is a learning experience (a painful one, but hey, maybe painful enough that I won't forget and invite her again in the future). I'll keep inviting the jobs that get fewer invites, it'd be horrible if one jerk ended that.

I'm going to go hide on WoW for a day or two, but I'll be back in time for the weekend events (skilling on Saturday and O-Hats (eee!) on Sunday).

[kamalloy.livejournal.com]

Grr. She really sounds like the kind of person who I'd want to grab by the shoulders and shake really hard and then tell her, "Get out of my job. You're making it look bad."

I don't really understand why people turn into jackasses, either. I suppose that they're tired and frustrated and sick of playing the game and they just want to get things over with as fast as possible, but they seem to totally miss the fact that their attitudes are probably the biggest reason *why* they're feeling that way.

But yeah. It's a game, not a chore, and when it gets bad, then it *is* time to take a break.

I'm just sorry all this crap is happening to you, because you're nice and fun to be around. I'm sorry that I can't really do anything to help you out, either.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

I'd want to grab by the shoulders and shake really hard and then tell her, "Get out of my job. You're making it look bad

Heh! I totally know that feeling, I've had that reaction so often...

Thanks, for all the rest. I'm just going to take a break on WoW for a while, then I'll be back for more abuse in a few days. :P

[pomr.livejournal.com]

You're far too nice to people sometimes, hon. That lolDRGtard should have been booted at the onset for bitching about having to pull when you stated that pulling was why you invited her from the git-go.

I can see how you would have a hard time doing that, I'm not sure I would have it in me to do the same. :/

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

In the beginning of the party I said to myself 'if she makes one more comment about pulling I'll tell her there's a THF seeking and I'll be happy to replace her if she didn't want to pull', which would have been as much threat as offer. Alas she shut up (about pulling) at that point. I wish she had gone on, as the party might have gone better and lasted longer without her.

[pomr.livejournal.com]

Trust your instincts. She gave you a bad vibe from the git-go. Honestly, you don't have to put up with crappy parties! If you're unhappy with someone, give them the boot. I bet the rest of the party will be more than happy if you're firm and don't put up with crap like this idiot displayed.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Could be a plan!

*snug*

[peppygrowlithe.livejournal.com]

I never really thought the world was like this until I worked in customer service, and then again when I read the worldofwarcraft.com forums (which, of course, is plagued by whiny, whiny, WHINY teenagers). I don't know why people have to be so excessively negative. I can understand people being selfish, I can understand people not caring, but I can't understand people looking for excuses to be assholes, with or without the anonymity of the internet.

However, I think the anonymity is it. You can get away with a lot more behind the net, but you and I, as people who use this as our social life, tend to put more of ourselves into the world, and thereby take criticism and so forth much more seriously.

When you do find people who don't suck (like my WoW guild, full of some of the most generous, amusing, and kindly people I know), it just means that much more. I can put up with 98% of the world sucking if I cliqued up with that last 2%. :)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

When you do find people who don't suck (like my WoW guild, full of some of the most generous, amusing, and kindly people I know), it just means that much more. I can put up with 98% of the world sucking if I cliqued up with that last 2%. :)

I think you hit the nail on the head. If I didn't have my LS, I'd have deleted the game long ago. And especially when I had my static exp party (thus had very little reason to need to interact with anyone outside my LS), the game was darned near perfect.

*snugs!* Any news on PokeMUSH stuff?

[draymor.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god, customer service. I think, although I never really liked people to begin with, working CS really cinched it for me. The sheer amount of assholes you can get through (not get through to, mind you) is simply mind boggling.

How 'bout people bringing in something they bought 3 years ago and asking for a refund because "it broke"?? /drop kicks stupid/greedy people and slam them into a brick wall. With steel spikes.

[jehryn.livejournal.com]

Stefoni is a jackass. One of those people that have a pompous aura to each and every thing they say.

Halloween event, wearing my Pitchfork, they give me a tell out of nowhere and are like "You need to get a Pitchfork+1." I'm like "I know, that's what I'm doing now." And then they are like "Anything else you want me to help you with? I can help you remove that stick from your ass."

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Gah, how rude! Too bad there's not some sort of public rating system, then unknowing people could be warned in advance about players like this...

[draymor.livejournal.com]

Too bad there's not some sort of public rating system, then unknowing people could be warned in advance about players like this...

That'd be awesome -bah! stupid crumbly muffins leaving crumbs everywhere ><- I remember back in my MUD days something similiar to the karma system you find on forums. The player's alignment will then affect the way NPCs deal with them and is also displayed for other players as well.
Of course, with such a system you'll also have the karme trolls that come with it...

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Unfortunately it could be abused. (Joe Asshole gets his whole LS to give him a good rating...)

[barahir-ffxi.livejournal.com]

Boo... sometimes I wish I played more Thistle. I don't mind puting together parties one bit and I'd make sure I grabbed ya. But again, as with most of the good people I know, I just can't level at the same speed... you're already past me ^^

Seriously though, I'm a person who never had the static experience. Every party I ever had was a random (pretty much). You meet the best and worst of the server this way. Sure some have sucked, but without the "bad" I'd never have recognized just how good the "good" really are.

I wish I could help somehow... it feels like the best I can offer at this point is to promise to be a better dragoon than her... ^^

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

It'd be cool if we could get to party together sometime! Maybe one day when we're leveling different jobs...

it feels like the best I can offer at this point is to promise to be a better dragoon than her... ^^

That's good enough for me. :)

[pomr.livejournal.com]

Dude! I am a better dragoon than her!

[kamalloy.livejournal.com]

Ha! Yes. ^^