Torture of Friends

[thistlechaser]

I made passing mention of a RP yesterday, one of the best scenes I've had in years. It was the final scene in a storyline involving a cop (Jack, a NPC) who tended to make really bad decisions in his personal life. One of those bad decisions was hooking up with Grayson (one of our baddest bad guys, for those not in the know). At first neither knew what the other one was, then Grayson found out Jack was a cop and things got bad for the NPC. It all ended last night. After four days of (off-screen) torture, the bad guys killed the cop last night. Grayson went to see him before they killed him.

That's all backstory for a related thought: Jack and Grayson had become close friends. It was only in last night's scene that Jack found out Grayson was one of the bad guys. I was somewhat surprised at how little finding out about that betrayal meant to Jack (he didn't yell at Grayson or try to hurt him or get mad, he wanted him to come closer and make physical contact to let him know he was really there and other things). I thought about that all last night and this morning, and I finally got my head around it (I think). Only in movies and books might a friend or lover get mad at the other person in that situation. After four full days of torture, with bones broken and burns and shocks and cuts and bruises on his bruises, I think the physical pain would be much, much worse than any pain of betrayal. Also, I'm thinking that one's mind would maybe help protect someone in a situation like that: You have so much physical pain to deal with, what would useless emotional pain help? Ah, I can't seem to get this into words right, but my general thought is that it's unrealistic drama to have someone somehow be able to push all that pain aside and show anger after nothing but defeat and seemingly endless abuse. I've broken bones years ago. I can't even imagine what four days of torture would be like. Tied to a chair, bleeding, burned, beaten... and to know that there's really pretty much no chance of escape or getting out of this alive? It makes my stomach twist just to try to feel that.

Now perhaps, if a character was especially strong, maybe they could summon up
some anger... but Jack wasn't strong. A sentence from one of Grayson's poses really sums him up:

"You were so beautiful, so wonderful, so eager and so weak. I loved you for it, and I still do. I've got a lot of friends already gone before us both - they'll look after you, when the end does come."

Sheesh. Makes my eyes burn and blur a little just to read that pose over again. Grayson's player rocks. :)

Comments

Jack...

[evilgrayson.livejournal.com]

I was crying, in that scene, because Grayson couldn't. So many times, Jack had come within a hair's breadth of dying at Grayson's hands - and yet near the end, when that death would have been a release, Grayson was forbidden from doing it. He simply had to turn and walk away when the time came, he couldn't even stay there for the last few hours. All he could do was what he did, sit there, stay there as long as he could, and offer what comfort there was. How is 'They've promised me that you won't live out the night' comforting? But that's all the comfort Grayson had to offer. That there was an end in sight, that Grayson actually did care enough to visit, that it wasn't all a lie.

Poor Jack.

And I'd say that Jim will never be the same again - but he will. One more atrocity in a life of them, yet another unmarked grave. He'll never forget Jack, though - Jack was so beautiful, so wonderful, so eager and so weak - and ultimately, so foolish and so unlucky. I don't actually know if it was possible to have made a worse choice than he did.

There's a dream system on PokeMUSH. You sign up to the list, you get an @mail with a random dream at a random interval. I found Grayson had one this morning, and, as seems to be usual when a dream comes after an intense scene, it just added to the whole thing.

~~
The details of your dream from last night aren't too clear, but the feeling it left you with is. You were walking through the woods with someone you liked. There was no rush, you two didn't have anywhere special you needed to be, you were just spending time together and enjoying each other's company. Nothing special happened, but that really didn't matter. The feeling of love and happiness was almost enough to make you want to cry -- and those emotions stayed with you even after the dream ended and you woke up.
~~

Perfect, no? Made me cry all over again...

Re: Jack...

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

. How is 'They've promised me that you won't live out the night' comforting? But that's all the comfort Grayson had to offer.

Yeah, I noticed that too. Sitting here, outside the IC scene, it doesn't seem like comfort at all... but in truth it had to have been some. It's not like the good guys were going to come storming in and save him, and sure as heck none of the bad guys would... so. So.

As much as I think people want to live and fight to stay alive even in nasty situations, there have to be times like this when all there is to life is pain now and death soon; if that's all that's in the cards for you, death now has to be the better choice...