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Love's a Bitch and Then He Dies by Harry Potter Wiccan

Christiania was the latest in a long line of Viscardis to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was a tall, blonde beauty, whose pale blue eyes seemed to pierce one’s very soul. With her vanilla complexion and delicate, regal features, it was easy to mistake her for a Veela. Like all Viscardis before her, she was sorted into Slytherin House.

-----------

That summary is just so many kinds of painful...

I'm skimming it, just to see how bad it really is. The summary is actually the first paragraph. The second:

The Viscardis were an old, respected wizarding family. They claimed pureblood heritage and fabulous wealth. They owned a sprawling estate in Ireland, an apartment in Upper Diagon Alley, and a townhouse in the heart of Paris. Despite her every wish granted and servants to wait on her hand and foot, Christiania was generally down-to-earth and modest.

See for yourself!

Date: 2003-07-14 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tersa.livejournal.com
It's my goal in life to someday write a Mary Sue that doesn't incite the eye roll reaction in those familiar with the Mary Sue phenomenon.

:)

Date: 2003-07-14 01:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thistle-chaser.livejournal.com
Heehee. That'll be a task. Good luck!

Date: 2003-07-14 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frances-jane.livejournal.com
*facepalm*

Yeesh. It's reasonably well-written (no glaring errors and exceptable grammar), so *why* must the author waste good words on such cliched crap?

On second thoughts, her A/N reads 'THANK'S A BILLION TO Three_Pointer for his help on this fic and his major involvment in in to .' I'd hate to read the unbetaed prologue.

Date: 2003-07-14 03:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frances-jane.livejournal.com
*acceptable.

*Bangs head*

Date: 2003-07-14 03:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thistle-chaser.livejournal.com
You know, I had the same thought process as you. I noticed that the typing was actually good... then I spotted "his help on this fic and his major involvment in in to". Guess we know where that involvement was, huh?

And don't you wish you could edit comments? :)

Re:

Date: 2003-07-14 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frances-jane.livejournal.com
I wish life had an 'edit' button :)

Thank's four you're involvment of notising mine mistacks!

;)

Date: 2003-07-14 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thistle-chaser.livejournal.com
Gah! That sentence makes me twitch! :)

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