"You know, it's very hard to picture hyena sex when your mother keeps IMing you."

[thistlechaser]

I was mostly intending to drop out of theatrical_muse, but how could I resist writing about Ed losing his virginity? I think I deserve extra points that I got this accomplished while my mother was talking to me on IM...



Hoohoohoo! No one knows about her but me. I wait 'till no one's looking, then sneak off to see her. I like to bring her things! Good things! Heehee, meat or bones or ears or insides. Mmmm! She doesn't demand things or snap at me to make me drop them, but I love her so I bring 'em and give 'em right to her!

She doesn't talk much, or (heheheee) laugh at all, but that's okay! Hee, I can laugh for both of us! When I go to see her in the daytime, she's all warm from being in the sun, but at night she's cool and shadowy! Sometimes I can't find her right away, but if I use my nose I can! Heehee, she smells like me!

Sometimes there're bugs crawin' out of her hole, but they don't bother me! Usually they get all smushed up from me... you know. Heeheehee! Then after we're done, I lick them all out and eat them up!

Only bad part is when I get splinters. Ow ow ow! Bark in my fur I can pick out, but splinters hurt!


I'm not sure if I amused or squicked myself more...

Comments

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

i find i've got the same combination of uncertainty whether i'm more amused or squicked. or touched, that's in there too.

*salutes you*

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks!

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

hey, if anyone could have acceptable necrophilic sex, it would be an insane hyena.

(though i've read several other necrophilia!fics and liked them too. this one's unusual in that the main character doesn't have a qualm.)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Well... it was sort of necrophilia. Dead wood? :) I pictured an Ed/dead log sort of thing.

[lunarennui.livejournal.com]

ha! i so did not catch the dead log bit. i figured it was just that what's her name's carcass was rotting into some sticks...

i suck.

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Nah! Other people were thinking dead animals, too. No worries! :)