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Probably the last PokeMUSH post. Sorry to everyone on my flist who doesn't care about this stuff!

I hunted down the text file with all the PokeMUSH code in it. Would you believe it's 120K in plain text? That's so insane. :D I sure did love all the code we had...

Anyway! The purpose of looking for it was to find those custom fun/silly macros we had for the staff channel.


I hope this works, there will be a lot of control characters and stuff...

&ANALRAPE The Bouncer=$+analrape *:@fo %#=+hs :bends %0 over for the Growlithe, and orders Wendy the Maid to withold the lube.
&FRED The Bouncer=$+fred *:@fo %#=+hs :sends Fred, the Rocket Janitor, to beat %0 with a mop.
&SPECIAL The Bouncer=$+special:@fo %#=+hs :singsongs, "Special means retarded! Special means retarded!"
&STERILIZE The Bouncer=$+sterilize *:@fo %#=+hs :sterilizes %0, saving the gene pool from torment.
&STER The Bouncer=$+ster *:@fo %#=+hs :sterilizes %0, saving the gene pool from torment.
&BUTTSPIKE The Bouncer=$+buttspike *:@fo %#=+hs :forces %0 to ride naked on Live-Wire when he's wearing his "special" outfit. Free dildos for all!
&BS The Bouncer=$+bs *:@fo %#=+hs :forces %0 to ride naked on Live-Wire when he's wearing his "special" outfit. Free dildos for all!
&TAILBALL The Bouncer=$+tailball *:@fo %#=+hs :uses Aeris's balls to beat %0.
&BROOM The Bouncer=$+broom *:@fo %#=+hs :sends Bubba and his broom handle of loooove after %0.
&ALEX The Bouncer=$+alex *:@fo %#=+hs :forces %0 to watch Alex's Rocket porno films over and over and over... "Oh ohhh ooooh Josh!" "Alex! Alex! ALEX!" "JOSH!"
&TASHA The Bouncer=$+tasha:@fo %#=+hs :watches Tasha stumble, "Nine tail- eh, ...tales... no! Ninetails!"
&SHRED The Bouncer=$+shred *:@fo %#=+hs :feeds %0 to the Shred-O-Matic 5000. Little fluttery %0 bits come out the other end.
&OK The Bouncer=$+ok *:@fo %#=+hs :sets the channel %0_OK.
&RORY The Bouncer=$+rory *:@fo %#=+hs :has Rory show up at %0's apartment, looking to pat a little pussy.
&SHITGUN The Bouncer=$+shitgun *:@fo %#=+hs :loads Lyssa's shitgun and fires it at %0. Splat!
&SKINS The Bouncer=$+skins *:@fo %#=+hs :wraps %0 up in Meowth skins, and places a Nidoqueen nearby to suckle from.
&PLOT The Bouncer=$+plot:@fo %#=+hs :quotes Ripper: But I think it's more of a plot device than an in-depth development.
&BONFIRE The Bouncer=$+bonfire *:@fo %#=+hs :uses a Charizard to light a bonfire before tossing %0 into the pit to incinerate. *fwoosh* Burn baby, burn!
&OLLIE The Bouncer=$+ollie *:@fo %#=+hs :watches Ollie jump into %0's lap and say, "I just turned 18 and I want to prove that I'm not a little boy anymore... I am hot and want you up my ass. Want a peek?"
@VA The Bouncer=$+punch: @force %#=+hs :punches Punch's ticket. *clack!* [switch(%vb,0,{One is the loneliest number of punches.},1,{Two punches are company.},2,{Three punches aren't a crowd -- plenty of room still.},3,{Four punches. The card's getting there.},4,{It's half-full (not half-empty) with five punches.},5,{Six (six six) punches.},6,{Seven punches: a lucky number? Ha!},7,{Eight punches isn't quite enough.},8,{Nine down, one to go...},9,{The card's all full! Punch gets a free prize!})];@vb me=mod(add(%vb,1),10)
&SLAP The Bouncer=$+slap:@fo %#=+hs Don't make me man-whore, he-bitch slap you!!
&RANDSNS0 The Bouncer=Hyper! The Seel asks, "What's [get(#3469/sex[rand(10)])]"
&RANDSNS1 The Bouncer=Beanie! The Wigglytuff sings, "Row, row, row your boat!"
&RANDSNS2 The Bouncer=Mandrake! The Oddish announces, "I am Not Your Food!"
&RANDSNS3 The Bouncer=Gale! The Gyarados is turned into a Magikarp! Ha!
&RANDSNS4 The Bouncer=Thistle-Chaser! The cat makes happy-kitty noises as she eats [get(#3469/staff[rand(9)])].
&RANDSNS5 The Bouncer=Shadow! The Arbok makes a face and suggests that you, "Hiss off!".
&RANDSNS6 The Bouncer=Delee! The Scarewulf grins and fades away instead of saying anything.
&BEAT The Bouncer=$+beat *:@fo %#=+hs :beats %0 and ALL (the) DICK SUCKS with a REGETED CUMBELE OF AN OLD MANS WINKLY PIMPLY PENIS!!!!
&SIZE The Bouncer=$+size:@fo %#=+hs :quotes Hyper, "There's no real 'average' length, they come in all shapes and sizes. Whatever you feel is best. Nice and long, for the most part."
&SNS The Bouncer=$+sns:@fo %#=+hs :pulls the string on the See-n-Say. The spinner goes round and round, landing on the picture of [u(randsns[rand(9)])]
&RANDSNS7 The Bouncer=Carak! The Arcanine yelps as she runs into a wall.
&CHUCK The Bouncer=$+chuck *:@fo %#=+hs :chucks a [name(#[rand(2700)])] at %0.
&DDROP The Bouncer=$+drop *:@fo %#=+hs :sings out, "I see things, I've seen them with my eyes! I've seen things, they're often in disguise! Like carrots, handbags, cheese, toilets, Russians, planets, hamsters, weddings, poets, Stalin, Kuala Lumpur! Pygmies, budgies, Kuala Lumpur!"
&CHEER The Bouncer=$+cheer *:@fo %#=+hs :sends the Butterfree to cheer %0 up! (Some time later...) Sprinkles didn't mean to stick it in so *hard!* He didn't want to hurt you, just cheer you up a bit... he'll be more gentle next time, okay?
&PACK The Bouncer=$+pack *:@fo %#=+hs :sics the Growlithe pack on %0, then orders, "Extra filling in that Hot Pocket!"
&MOAN The Bouncer=$+moan:@fo %#=+hs :makes feminine Mag moan, "Stop that! Don't touch me there!"
&ANALHYPER The Bouncer=$+analhyper *:@fo %#=+hs :gives Hyper's anal virginity to %0!
&EXHYPER The Bouncer=$+exhyper:@fo %#=+hs :watches as Hyper ex'es himself, and feels shamed. So small!
&TIGHTEND The Bouncer=$+tightend:@fo %#=+hs :asks Hyper how he likes his sex. | Hyper says, "Tight end! Go deep! Tight end!" Hyper says, "Ohhh, it was long, hard, and tiring..."
&EXPLODE The Bouncer=$+explode *:@fo %#=+hs :gets Mag really excited and points him at %0. Mag explodes in %0's face!
&TSTC The Bouncer=$+tstc *:@fo %#=+hs :hands Thistle over to %0. %0 says, "I guess I'll try that TS!"
&ECCHI The Bouncer=$+ecchi:@fo %#=+hs :quotes Hyper: ... Oh... wow. Okay. That's ecchi, but it's also oddly... interesting.
&HRL The Bouncer=$+hrl *:@fo %#=+hs :lays some hot Rattata lovin' down on %0.
&OLDDDROP The Bouncer=$+OLDdrop *:@fo %#=+hs :drops a [name(#[rand(3300)])] on %0's head.
&TREAT The Bouncer=$+treat *:@fo %#=+hs :watches as Valentino makes a graceful leap and lands before %0. He smiles sweetly and drops his pants as he whispers in a deep and throaty voice, "Hello, would you like a treat?"
&OLDINSERT The Bouncer=$+OLDinsert *:@fo %#=+hs :inserts a [name(#[rand(3300)])] into %0.
&GALE The Bouncer=$+gale:@fo %#=+hs :wonders why we like Gale so much. Oh yeah! | {Help Staff} Gale swallows.
&FEED The Bouncer=$+feed *:@fo %#=+hs :feeds a [name(#[rand(3300)])] to %0!
&GALE_KARP The Bouncer=$+karp:@fo %#=+hs :turns Gale into a Magikarp. Gale cannot turn himself back, only another staffer can do it using '+gyarados'.
&GALE_GYARADOS The Bouncer=$+gyarados:@fo %#=+hs :turns Gale into a Gyarados. If he acts up again, a staffer can change him into a Magikarp using '+karp'.
&INSERT The Bouncer=$+insert *:@fo %#=+hs :desires sexual favors from %0.
&BED The Bouncer=$+bed *:@fo %#=+hs :watches %0 bed everything on it!
&ROXIE The Bouncer=$+roxie *:@fo %#=+hs :runs %0 through with a stick.
&BEDTIME The Bouncer=$+bedtime:@fo %#=+hs :quotes Punch, "My butt hurts. Time for bed. Bye!"
&LEE1 The Bouncer=$+lee1 *:@fo %#=+hs :presses the first button on the Lee Action Figure and hands the toy to %0. Lee spreads her legs!
&LEE2 The Bouncer=$+lee2 *:@fo %#=+hs :presses the second button on the Lee Action Figure and hands the toy to %0. Lee stabs %0 in the eye!
&LOSER The Bouncer=$+loser *:@fo %#=+hs :makes an L with %p thumb and forefinger, and puts it to %p forehead while looking in %0's direction. Loser!



"ALL DICK SUCKS with a REGETED CUMBELE OF AN OLD MANS WINKLY PIMPLY PENIS". The insults our rejected appers came up with!
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