Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tales

The more time I spend in You Enter a Dungeon (a RP subreddit), the more I'm discovering that I seem to have a modus operandi when it comes to these random RP threads. I seem to like to look for holes, some way to twist things in a way the GM didn't expect or intend.

In one thread, the GM set up a game:

You're in a stone room about 15 meters in each dimension. In the corners are four pedestals, respectively containing: a riot shield, a sword glowing with some green energy that reminds you of a lightsaber, an automatic pistol, and a staff with a brilliant ruby on its end.

A voice that is not yours sounds through your head.

"Welcome to the Game. You have been selected to have an opportunity; risk, but reward. What tool do you choose to face the trials ahead?"


Everyone else (logically) had a human appear in that room, but to me that idea was boring.

( Enter the dragon... (my response) )


In another thread from this morning, the GM set up some kind of violent horror idea:

You approach the cabin at midday; it sits in the woods, run down and falling apart.

If the legends are true, you will find a powerful vampire inside. Whether or not you will survive the encounter and get your revenge is another question.

(please describe who you are, what you look like and why you are hiring a vampire to help you get vengeance)

This time I did go with a human character, but I'm 100% sure it's not what the GM was intending. :P

( Like, seriously Brendan? (My response) )

To me, half the fun of these is finding some amusing, unusual way to reply. The threads where I do the expected are less fun to me. I wonder if that makes me a brat or a fun challenge?

The DM of that "You Will Die" RP thread on reddit finally posted my death. Though I hadn't mentioned the nine lives idea, he thwarted it.

( Final post back here. )

Cat would end up with the same death eight more times, since it's stuck.

Oh well! Was tons of fun!

I like to come at these RP threads in an unexpected (and hopefully amusing) sort of way, so at risk of becoming known as an animal RPer, I did a similar trick in a new thread. Opening post from it:

---
[Western] You are sitting across from your most hated enemy.

The cave in was devastating, creating a several meter wide blockade of fallen rock which separated the two of you from the outside world. The only way out was through the tunneling depths of the abandoned mine that led to God knows where.

Sitting at the opposite end of the wall from you was your most hated enemy, the only other survivor of the explosion. Between both of you were the four objects that got you into this mess.

An oil lantern providing your only source of light, a canteen filled halfway with water, a gun with one bullet, and a wooden crate packed with stolen gold bars fresh off the U.S. Mint.

The two of you could only stare at one another in silence, seeing who would make the first move.

Who are you? How did you get here?
---

I decided to be a mouse, and my mortal enemy a snake. Since the thread isn't over (though I got out of the cave and into a house and a cat is now chasing me) I'm going to wait to archive it here. The DM on this one really knows his stuff though, you can tell he's an expert on old west stuff.

While I always tell people I don't have a Facebook account, actually I do. (Oops! Secret's out!) My mother is very active on it, and before I had an account she would print out and snailmail me funny/interesting things. I figured if she did that much for me, I could at least make an account to make it easier for her. (Sorry, no, not sharing the account name. It's only purpose is for her and a few other family members who live near her.)

I had thought that jokes about Facebook were exaggeration, but they're really not. My aunt sends me chain letters on a regular basis. Those "Share these with nine people or SOMETHING BAD will happen!" types of things. I sat there staring at the first one she sent -- I couldn't believe those even existed anymore!

While hitting the reddit random button (shows you random subreddits) to find something new to read, I came across /r/TheFacebookDelusion/. Holy cow is this stuff funny in a scary sort of way!

For example:
( Jesus wrote the US Constitution. (Cut for wide image.) )