I always know when it's 3:30 AM...

[thistlechaser]

So tired. On the best of work nights, I get five hours of sleep. It's rarely a "best of" night. Three to four hours is closer to the norm. Last night I got all of one hour of sleep.

So. Tired.

Ellie New Cat is so full of energy. Every morning from 3:30 to 4:30 AM she races around from room to room (how a galloping cat can be so loud!). Unfortunately this includes my bedroom. And my bed.

LEAP ONTO THE BED! LEAP ONTO PERSON! KILL THAT FOOT! EAT THAT BLANKET! RUN RUN RUN OFF!

I try to wear her out during the day, but it doesn't seem to help at all. I'm considering getting a second cat to keep her entertained and help her burn off energy, but then I might end up with two cats who keep me up at night... (And I'm not sure getting a second cat would be right for her.)

And on a more serious note, I've been thinking about this for a while. I wonder how long it takes for love to happen. More important: Does it always happen? I couldn't have loved my previous cat more. If she had been human and a spouse or child of mine, I couldn't have loved her more. It's impossible for a human heart to feel more love than I felt for her. Ellie New Cat? She's a nice enough cat, but I feel nothing for her. That both makes me sad and makes me feel like I'm cheating her somehow.

I think part of the issue is she's still somewhat scared of me. It's been a whole month now and if I get too close to her, she'll sometimes run off. If I reach for her with two hands, she'll sometimes run off. If I look at her wrong or the moon is waxing or who knows what, she might go running off. She is getting better, every day it seems like she's making an improvement, but it's still so... depressing. I've been nothing but kind to her, I don't even have to lift my voice to correct her (she's so sensitive), I feed her and play with her and give her treats, and yet at times she still treats me like I'm going to hurt her.

I don't mind waiting more for her to come around, I just worry she'll stop making progress and she'll never really trust me. I'm probably worrying too much, that's a specialty of mine. :P

Comments

[donnaimmaculata.livejournal.com]

I wonder how long it takes for love to happen.

I can't help you with an answer, but I have been wondering the same thing lately. I have realised that one of the reasons why I decided to not adopt a cat (yet) is the fact that Cat the Elder is still alive. He was my first cat, and, even though he now lives with my parents, he's still my kitteh at heart and has been for 18 years. I love him so much, I can't get a new cat, because it wouldn't be fair on him or her. I also fear that I will compare any potential new cat with Cat the Elder, and that they won't be able to measure up (because Cat the Elder is the most awesome kitteh in the world!).

Having said all that, I think that your relationship with Ellie New Cat is still so fresh, and one month is probably not enough to bond properly, especially since you stood at the beginning of the grieving process when you got her. You and Ellie New Cat have only just embarked on a relationship of many years, and there's plenty of time for love to happen, gradually.

[fealubryne.livejournal.com]

I dunno, I'd say you're worrying too much... I mean, you've only had Ellie for, what, a bit over a month? Compared to years? Yeah, people talk about the whole "love at first sight" thing, and while I guess it's possible, I think it's a lot more common to develop feelings over time. She's not a replacement, and she'll never be. Don't feel pressured into feeling the same things - you may not. It might end up being completely different, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Either way though, just give it time and don't worry so much! Rome wasn't built in a day! Or a month. Or even a year. Good, lasting things come in time.

[piratewiccy.livejournal.com]

Cats are more active during dusk and dawn. I understand what you are going though. My little cat does the same thing. It's like she has lost her mind for a few mins and starts running all over the place and attacking anything and anyone that is in the way lol.

[ani-mama.livejournal.com]

Give it time. One month is hardly anything. Cats do not really grow up and start chilling until they are a couple years old anyway. Miss Kitty is finally doing better about being picked up and she is a year old now.

[veloxe.livejournal.com]

I wonder how long it takes for love to happen.

Magic 8-ball says ask again later. Damn useless thing!

I just worry she'll stop making progress and she'll never really trust me.

See, I'm not sure if it's so much of a trust issue as it is probably a phobia. I know our only remaining cat is really jumpy, she's always been jumpy since she was impregnated when she was semi-feral before we got her. Like, if you go at her too fast she'll shy away or if you make too much noise near her when she's not expecting it she'll go into "holy shit holy shit holy shit!" mode.

I'm sure you'd be able to get most of the habits out of Ellie but if it's a phobia it will probably require more work to change your habits as well (like trying to get yourself used to not reaching with 2 hands). Ya, I know it shouldn't really have to be that way and the trust should be there (and is already starting based on the progress so far) but that's the thing with phobias, be definition they defy logic and are more instinct then anything else.

But that is also part of love, taking the good with the bad and working around it towards the good times and accepting when bad times might come around.

[teaandfailure.livejournal.com]

I think it's ok not to love new kitty as much - you haven't spent as much time with her, and these things grow over time if they grow, and if they don't grow as strongly, you're still giving her a home.

I have two cats right now, and I very obviously love one more than the other, and she loves me more than the other cat. One of them likes to sit with me when I do things, sleep under the covers, etc. etc. The other one basically has nothing to do with me unless there is food, or will sometimes timidly come let me pat her on the head, but she doesn't want to be picked up, ever, and she isn't really big about even sitting around me and the other cat. She likes to hide most of the time. I have no idea why this is, she doesn't seem afraid of ME or the other cat. Sometimes they make a catpile on my bed on weekends. (They aren't allowed in the bedroom while I'm at work on weekdays.)

So, I love one of them more than the other, and I still don't really love either of them as much as I loved the cat I grew up with. I think it's just part of what you went through with certain animals. You love them all, but it takes time, and sometimes you love certain ones more. You can't help how you feel.