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thistlechaserIce by Sarah Beth Durst
Rating: 5/loved (1-5/hated-loved)
When Cassie was a little girl, her grandmother told her a fairy tale about her mother, who made a deal with the Polar Bear King and was swept away to the ends of the Earth. Now that Cassie is older, she knows the story was a nice way of saying that her mother had died.
This book. Man, this book. Flawless.
Cassie lived her whole life in an Alaskan research station, where her father was the director. Her whole world was about science, she wanted to study polar bears for a living when she grew up, and was well on the way to that goal when she met a talking one.
Turned out the "fairy tale" her grandmother had told her was real.
When I say this book was flawless, I mean it. I fully believed each and every character as a real person. Cassie going from a world where science was her religion to a world full of spirits and "magic" would have been a journey on its own, but that was only the very start of things. We got to experience her growing relationship with a "talking bear" (a munaqsri, a spirit who is a caretaker for one of the species on Earth, they gather souls from the dying and deliver them to newborns). There was not one thing I disagreed with, disliked, or didn't believe in this book. Not one typo or rough wording. ...okay, I didn't like the cover art, but that doesn't really count.
I loved the book's setting to death. The whole way the spirits worked. The munaqsri as "people" (believable characters). Every step of her journey alone and on foot through the arctic and Alaska.
There was another journey in the book that was just as interesting, but it's a spoiler. Please do yourself a favor and don't click here! Read the book yourself! Though what was perhaps a misunderstanding, Cassie became pregnant with the polar bear king's (polar bear munaqsri's) child (he had a human form). She's a teenager, so unsurprisingly she wanted nothing to do with being pregnant. It was so fascinating and believable to watch her come to terms with that and to grow to love the baby growing inside her. I felt touched to be able to experience that through her. And, while I've never been through it, her labor and birth seemed fully believable, too.
This was one of those rare books that, as soon as I finished it, I wanted to start at the beginning again.
On top of everything else, this was one of those (sadly) rare books that is self-contained -- it doesn't end on a cliffhanger and make you wait for the rest of the trilogy. There is no more after Ice. *sniffle*
--
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irreparable posted an amusing video today: The Wiggles: The Last Suárez Supper. The Wiggles are a musical group for children, which makes this all the funnier. Suárez is the World Cup soccer player who bite the other player (Chiellini) on the shoulder.
--
Diet: I was worried about going back to work, but today was a really good day. In fact, my calorie count was so low (300 breakfast, 300 lunch) that I had to eat a "normal" dinner (I don't want to eat so few calories that my body goes into starvation mode). It was really interesting because I was barely hungry at all. Only because I was late in getting lunch (had to go grocery shopping again) did I have any hunger pains at all today.
Two days until my "official" weekly weigh-in, but I lost another pound and a half. So that puts me at 8.5 pounds in five days. I'm near the point of laughing at myself over worry at needing to lose 10-15 pounds in two months.
I want to keep losing even after I hit the goal. I haven't had any "last meals" yet, and I have two (or three or four) planned, so I want the extra weight loss to cover it. In order of MUST DO:
1) Chinese buffet. I don't go there often, but I love it so, and I'll never go again after the surgery.
2) Sweet and sour (chicken/pork/whatever). The buffet I go to doesn't have that, and it's my favorite Chinese food. It's unlikely I'll ever be able to have this again post-surgery (too sweet).
3) A beef dish from the local Hawaiian place. (Something I may or may not ever have later, some people don't like/tolerate beef after it.)
4) Fried chicken from Popeye's. (Possible to have after.)
Tomorrow will be exactly two months before surgery. (Nervous!) I bought my mother's airline tickets tonight, she'll be staying with me for two weeks to help out.
Rating: 5/loved (1-5/hated-loved)
When Cassie was a little girl, her grandmother told her a fairy tale about her mother, who made a deal with the Polar Bear King and was swept away to the ends of the Earth. Now that Cassie is older, she knows the story was a nice way of saying that her mother had died.
This book. Man, this book. Flawless.
Cassie lived her whole life in an Alaskan research station, where her father was the director. Her whole world was about science, she wanted to study polar bears for a living when she grew up, and was well on the way to that goal when she met a talking one.
Turned out the "fairy tale" her grandmother had told her was real.
When I say this book was flawless, I mean it. I fully believed each and every character as a real person. Cassie going from a world where science was her religion to a world full of spirits and "magic" would have been a journey on its own, but that was only the very start of things. We got to experience her growing relationship with a "talking bear" (a munaqsri, a spirit who is a caretaker for one of the species on Earth, they gather souls from the dying and deliver them to newborns). There was not one thing I disagreed with, disliked, or didn't believe in this book. Not one typo or rough wording. ...okay, I didn't like the cover art, but that doesn't really count.
I loved the book's setting to death. The whole way the spirits worked. The munaqsri as "people" (believable characters). Every step of her journey alone and on foot through the arctic and Alaska.
There was another journey in the book that was just as interesting, but it's a spoiler. Please do yourself a favor and don't click here! Read the book yourself! Though what was perhaps a misunderstanding, Cassie became pregnant with the polar bear king's (polar bear munaqsri's) child (he had a human form). She's a teenager, so unsurprisingly she wanted nothing to do with being pregnant. It was so fascinating and believable to watch her come to terms with that and to grow to love the baby growing inside her. I felt touched to be able to experience that through her. And, while I've never been through it, her labor and birth seemed fully believable, too.
This was one of those rare books that, as soon as I finished it, I wanted to start at the beginning again.
On top of everything else, this was one of those (sadly) rare books that is self-contained -- it doesn't end on a cliffhanger and make you wait for the rest of the trilogy. There is no more after Ice. *sniffle*
--
irreparable posted an amusing video today: The Wiggles: The Last Suárez Supper. The Wiggles are a musical group for children, which makes this all the funnier. Suárez is the World Cup soccer player who bite the other player (Chiellini) on the shoulder. --
Diet: I was worried about going back to work, but today was a really good day. In fact, my calorie count was so low (300 breakfast, 300 lunch) that I had to eat a "normal" dinner (I don't want to eat so few calories that my body goes into starvation mode). It was really interesting because I was barely hungry at all. Only because I was late in getting lunch (had to go grocery shopping again) did I have any hunger pains at all today.
Two days until my "official" weekly weigh-in, but I lost another pound and a half. So that puts me at 8.5 pounds in five days. I'm near the point of laughing at myself over worry at needing to lose 10-15 pounds in two months.
I want to keep losing even after I hit the goal. I haven't had any "last meals" yet, and I have two (or three or four) planned, so I want the extra weight loss to cover it. In order of MUST DO:
1) Chinese buffet. I don't go there often, but I love it so, and I'll never go again after the surgery.
2) Sweet and sour (chicken/pork/whatever). The buffet I go to doesn't have that, and it's my favorite Chinese food. It's unlikely I'll ever be able to have this again post-surgery (too sweet).
3) A beef dish from the local Hawaiian place. (Something I may or may not ever have later, some people don't like/tolerate beef after it.)
4) Fried chicken from Popeye's. (Possible to have after.)
Tomorrow will be exactly two months before surgery. (Nervous!) I bought my mother's airline tickets tonight, she'll be staying with me for two weeks to help out.
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no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 09:19 am (UTC)The science-to-spirits thing sounds very interesting to me, since it sounds like it's done well -- I think I've only encountered it once before (Rampant, in the Killer Unicorns series), and I really loved it there.
Good luck with the continued weight loss!
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 02:53 pm (UTC)I'm glad you're skipping the spoiler. I'll be interested to hear what you think of the book, once you get a chance to read it.
And thanks!
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 02:06 pm (UTC)On the note of last meals...after losing my gall bladder, there's a lot of stuff I can't eat. I live in the South. I miss true fried chicken. Popeye's is tasty, and I can eat it without getting ill. Their chicken fingers are close enough to what I crave, and 3 of them causes no ill-effects for me. I really wish I could've gotten some of the last meals...but by the time a problem was discovered (yay organ failure!), eating something that violates the new diet would have been excrutiatingly painful, if not outright dangeorous.
So - good work so far! And good luck!
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 02:56 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm really lucky when it comes to last meals. When I learned about the 10-15 pound loss requirement, I had thought I wouldn't be able to have any, so now I'm extra relieved for multiple reasons. I both can have the surgery and I get my last meals.
I'm going to have whole chicken pieces from them. I do like their fingers too, but it's the whole chicken with that amazing skin that draws me in. I'm glad the fingers work for you though!
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 04:29 pm (UTC)*puts Mom hat on* I just want to make sure to note that you keep an eye on the rate at which you're losing. It's not unknown to lose a large amount of weight in the first couple of weeks of "dieting", but losing that much weight that quickly can actually harm you as well, and I mean things like "damage your heart" kind of harm.
If you're losing that fast, I'd actually suggest adding more calories to your diet. 1100 calories is ridiculously low, I just didn't want to say anything then because I don't know what your doctor advised (I know that was your initial goal, I don't know what it is now). I'm betting you should be closer to 1500-1600 per day. If you're already at that, maybe add another 100 or so.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 04:45 pm (UTC)Yeah, I'm shooting for 1600-1800/day. I actually "had to" have a little ice cream last night to bring my total up to 1800!
I really, really do not understand how my body/brain is working or how things changed so much in a week. Previously, a yogurt did nothing for my hunger, it was more of a (sucky) snack. Now I spend about two and a half hours eating one yogurt (a spoonful per half-hour) and I feel fine. Toss in a piece of fruit around 11-13:30 and I'm good until lunch (150-200 calories for the morning).
Lunch is 4 slices of sandwich meat turkey (120 cal), plus pickles, a rice cake or a babybel cheese, and strawberries (~100 cal for all three) and I'm full before I get to the fruit.
It absolutely makes no sense. The nutritionist said your stomach starts to shrink after two weeks, so I'm not even halfway to that. If the timing of this had been different, I'd worry I'm sick in some way and go to the doctor. It's just really, really odd.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 05:00 pm (UTC)That is weird. :) But it may just be a cyclical thing, too, and your body will adjust after a week or two.
At the risk of sticking my nose in, you may want to consider front loading your calories more (earlier in the day, at breakfast and/or lunch) and eating lighter for dinner. It'll kickstart your metabolism in the morning, and allow most of the food to be digested before you're heading to bed.
With that few calories for breakfast and lunch, your body may be functioning in fasting mode and it might explain the rapid weight loss as your body is doing most of it's "awake time" with not enough calories.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 05:21 pm (UTC)you may want to consider front loading your calories more
Even though I don't want to (until I taste it), I make myself have a half-spoonful of peanut butter before I leave for work. Supposedly you need some protein within an hour of waking up to kickstart your metabolism. I don't know if that's enough though, so I might switch to some meat or cheese instead.
With that few calories for breakfast and lunch, your body may be functioning in fasting mode and it might explain the rapid weight loss as your body is doing most of it's "awake time" with not enough calories.
That could be...
I feel like I now know how eating disorders start. I feel so strong and in control! This problem I've had my whole life, which has always defeated me, I now have the upper hand on. When I do feel hunger, it makes me... laugh? Sort of. Like "You're not stronger than me, bwahahaha!". It feels good to not eat. (I don't think I'm really at risk for an ED, I just think I know how it feels. Eventually my body will adjust to this and I'll stop losing, then I'll get depressed and eat...)
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 05:57 pm (UTC)Try doing a full spoon. :) Both the protein and nut fats would be good for you.
Meat and cheese are also an option, though. Or, if you can tolerate it, chocolate milk (which is used by athletes as a recovery drink, having a perfect balance of protein and carbs).
That could be...
Just as a point of reference: my FitBit also keeps track of an estimate of how many calories I've burned throughout the day, I'm guessing based on the exercise I've had (in the form of the steps I've taken) and an estimated basal metabolism keying off my weight. An hour ago or so, when I replied, with a half hour walk this morning, I'd already burned 1000 calories today.
Calculate that against how many calories you've consumed by 10am, and you'll see what I mean. :)
I feel like I now know how eating disorders start. I feel so strong and in control!
Heh. But, yeah. I think a lot of anorexia's mental disorder component is the idea of being in control of one's hunger and body to the point of privation.
Eventually my body will adjust to this and I'll stop losing, then I'll get depressed and eat...
Try to remember that this time is a temporary thing, only two months. You can hold out two months, right? Because once you have the bariatric surgery, everything is going to change. A lot. Not just how much you can eat, but what and when.
Consider this training for that, because once you have the surgery, there is no sliding back into the old habits (without incredible risk).
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 06:18 pm (UTC)Yeah, that's the important part. Two months! I don't even have to keep up at this rate (though I will), I just need to do it for two months.
You're right, this is kind of training for post-surgery, too. Other than how I chew, this will be how I'm eating then. Protein first and foremost before I eat anything else, small meals, lots of water.
Try doing a full spoon. :) Both the protein and nut fats would be good for you.
Since I have the calories to spare, I think I will. Part of my brain whines about the calories, but like you said, both are good and I do need to eat in the morning.
Thanks for the point about chocolate milk! They sell little single-serving sized containers of it, I'm going to grab a few for use in the morning.
I think a lot of anorexia's mental disorder component is the idea of being in control of one's hunger and body to the point of privation.
Yeah, I'm not aiming for privation. (Great word, by the way! I had to look it up, which always makes me happy.) I'm willing to add some calories when I need to (and ignore my lying, lying brain).
Part of what I'm enjoying about this is seeing the disconnect between what my brain tells me and reality. No, brain, we do not NEED to stop at McDonalds and have 20 chicken nuggets and a large fry. Nope, you're lying to me. It's not your fault though, evolution made you want to eat as much as you can when food is available, but this is a different world.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 06:43 pm (UTC)Good. :) I think...well, kind of like what I just talked about on my journal, because this is How Things Are and Ever Will Be, especially in your case with having the surgery, it's really really important to re-train your lying, lying brain and find a zen about it.
Part of my brain whines about the calories
Haha. That's exactly why I gave up on counting calories this time around.
But I know how that feels. Tell your lying brain that it's not too many calories, you're just shifting the calories you're going to have to eat to another, beneficial time of the day. :)
Thanks for the point about chocolate milk! They sell little single-serving sized containers of it, I'm going to grab a few for use in the morning.
You're welcome! That's what I was doing when I was swimming all the time; I'd have a latte (with a full cup of milk) and a tiny bit of actual food (I was incredibly fond of coconut-date rolls for that) before swimming to kick start my metabolism and get me out of a fasting state, then drink a single serving of chocolate milk in the half hour after I'd get out of the pool before having my actual breakfast a little bit later.
Just make sure it's 2%. The fat will also help.
(Great word, by the way! I had to look it up, which always makes me happy.)
lol. It always amuses me when people say that. To me they're just...words I know. :)
Part of what I'm enjoying about this is seeing the disconnect between what my brain tells me and reality. No, brain, we do not NEED to stop at McDonalds and have 20 chicken nuggets and a large fry. Nope, you're lying to me. It's not your fault though, evolution made you want to eat as much as you can when food is available, but this is a different world.
Yeah, that's tough. And it's not just your brain, it's your brain's interpretation of the biochemical signals it's getting from the rest of your body. I've read some studies a while back that because of the way we eat, it can also get confused by how it interprets those, for example, saying, "I REALLY WANT A SUGARY COKE" when in reality, it's just thirsty.
Oh, that reminds me: another trick I did, especially at the beginning, was that if I got hungry and I felt it wasn't 'time to eat', I'd drink a huge cup of water (12-16 oz) instead. I'd say 95% of the time, that made me feel less hungry.
If I was still hungry 10-15 minutes later, then I'd eat. :)
no subject
Date: 2014-07-15 06:58 pm (UTC)I haven't counted calories in a long time, it's always made me really unhappy (and fail fast) in the past. I don't know why it's working this time. (I think it feeds into my feeling of control -- I know exactly what to do and how to do it. Which leads back to the whole "this is so odd" thing because it's not like I didn't know in the past that I just needed to eat fewer calories and burn more.)
(I was incredibly fond of coconut-date rolls for that)
I remember that! You baked them yourself, right?
Just make sure it's 2%. The fat will also help.
It's packaged for kids, so I bet it is, but I'll check and be sure.
lol. It always amuses me when people say that. To me they're just...words I know. :)
Yeah, exactly. It seems like a common enough word, I'm not sure how I hadn't run into it before today. Still: Happy "new" word!
I've read some studies a while back that because of the way we eat, it can also get confused by how it interprets those, for example, saying, "I REALLY WANT A SUGARY COKE" when in reality, it's just thirsty.
So much that. I'm used to eating something sweet after my meals, but I found that drinking water instead can do the trick.
Oh, that reminds me: another trick I did, especially at the beginning, was that if I got hungry and I felt it wasn't 'time to eat', I'd drink a huge cup of water (12-16 oz) instead. I'd say 95% of the time, that made me feel less hungry.
If I was still hungry 10-15 minutes later, then I'd eat. :)
Yeah! I did that the first couple days, too. It fills up your stomach and tricks you for a while, hopefully long enough to get distracted by something else.
no subject
Date: 2014-07-17 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-07-17 07:55 pm (UTC)