2 AM Logic (Nano)

I should be sleeping
Awake, heart racing... dying?
Death better than work

I think I had my first panic attack last night. 2 AM, I jolted awake, heart pounding fast, panting, wide awake... and it didn't stop. More than an hour it went on, I was sure it was a heart attack but didn't call 911 because, in my 2 AM logic, dying seemed a better option than living and going to work the next day.

I'm so glad I don't agree with that now that I'm awake! Things are settling down, somewhat better than yesterday. Still hot as all hell here. Insane. It's too bad, as my old desk had the 100% perfect temperature all the time, year 'round.

Did you know panic attacks could be brought on by having tapeworms? I wasn't sure exactly what panic attacks involved, so I googled, and it seems to fit not just my current life, but my lifestyle as a whole (eh, except the tapeworms). I'm kind of surprised I haven't had one before now! I'm a serious stresspuppy, among other matching conditions/traits.

Even though I felt like crap (both legs and left arm felt like they had been punched all night -- what had I been doing in the bit of time I was asleep?! Plus my sleep was broken on either end of the 2 AM fun), I tried to exercise this morning, but gave up after about 15 minutes. I was too exhausted and hurting too much to finish. Blah.

2 AM Logic (Nano)

I should be sleeping
Awake, heart racing... dying?
Death better than work

I think I had my first panic attack last night. 2 AM, I jolted awake, heart pounding fast, panting, wide awake... and it didn't stop. More than an hour it went on, I was sure it was a heart attack but didn't call 911 because, in my 2 AM logic, dying seemed a better option than living and going to work the next day.

I'm so glad I don't agree with that now that I'm awake! Things are settling down, somewhat better than yesterday. Still hot as all hell here. Insane. It's too bad, as my old desk had the 100% perfect temperature all the time, year 'round.

Did you know panic attacks could be brought on by having tapeworms? I wasn't sure exactly what panic attacks involved, so I googled, and it seems to fit not just my current life, but my lifestyle as a whole (eh, except the tapeworms). I'm kind of surprised I haven't had one before now! I'm a serious stresspuppy, among other matching conditions/traits.

Even though I felt like crap (both legs and left arm felt like they had been punched all night -- what had I been doing in the bit of time I was asleep?! Plus my sleep was broken on either end of the 2 AM fun), I tried to exercise this morning, but gave up after about 15 minutes. I was too exhausted and hurting too much to finish. Blah.

Oh Glee... (Spoilers for tonight's ep behind cut)

Oh Glee, how can I love you and dislike you so very very much. Your whole plotline about Coach Beiste has been horrible, right from the first time she was introduced. Horrible, mean, terrible. It makes me sick to my stomach. I feel awful for her (even knowing she's a fictional character). Really, I mean that, I feel sick to my stomach and I want to cry for her. She's not a bad person. She has never been a bad person. And yet they abuse her so badly.

( And as for what happened with her tonight... )

On the other hand, I love Kurt so much. But... this was supposed to be the ep dealing with the fact that he's bullied at school so much and ( what happened? More spoilers )

( And as to what happened with the bully... )

And then there were small things, like Brittany and Santana swooning over Puck being an asshole. (And seriously, did Puck take asshole pills in addition to stupid pills?) Yeah, they're hardly the brightest crayons in the box, but it still bugged me.

All these negative points, but I still like the show. I think I might be liking it less though. As of right now, my only wish for the show is to see Kurt have a happy ending, to see his life get better. I wish they'd all stop being so mean to each other, but it's set in high school, so maybe that's the point.

Oh Glee... (Spoilers for tonight's ep behind cut)

Oh Glee, how can I love you and dislike you so very very much. Your whole plotline about Coach Beiste has been horrible, right from the first time she was introduced. Horrible, mean, terrible. It makes me sick to my stomach. I feel awful for her (even knowing she's a fictional character). Really, I mean that, I feel sick to my stomach and I want to cry for her. She's not a bad person. She has never been a bad person. And yet they abuse her so badly.

( And as for what happened with her tonight... )

On the other hand, I love Kurt so much. But... this was supposed to be the ep dealing with the fact that he's bullied at school so much and ( what happened? More spoilers )

( And as to what happened with the bully... )

And then there were small things, like Brittany and Santana swooning over Puck being an asshole. (And seriously, did Puck take asshole pills in addition to stupid pills?) Yeah, they're hardly the brightest crayons in the box, but it still bugged me.

All these negative points, but I still like the show. I think I might be liking it less though. As of right now, my only wish for the show is to see Kurt have a happy ending, to see his life get better. I wish they'd all stop being so mean to each other, but it's set in high school, so maybe that's the point.