![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Movie of the week: The second Twilight movie, New Moon.
I was more interested in seeing this one than the first one, because I really like werewolves. As of 30 minutes in, this might as well not have any werewolves in it.
For those who don't know, the plot seems to be: It's Bella's birthday! And the vampire family decides to throw her a party! But because her gift is wrapped with special vampire wrapping paper, when she gets a paper cut from it, she bleeds. Drop after drop hits the floor! In the middle of the vampire family! Oh nos! Will Bella be eaten? Will she survive?!
Of course. But this sets up something about blah blah, Bella's not good for Edward or some such thing so blah blah, his family has to leave town (vampires don't age, so they need to move on a regular basis anyway, but this "explains" why she can't go with them).
Bella sleeps in the woods (causing her cop father to panic), Bella spends nights screaming into her pillow, Bella angsts all over the screen. zzzz Then, suddenly, Edward starts appearing to her in visions! Through this we learn that vampires do not understand the concept of positive reinforcement: He only appears to her when she does something dangerous, so she starts doing dangerous things so she can see him! Going off with strange men, riding a motorcycle, etc.
... Okay. So the werewolves aren't supposed to tell anyone about werewolves existing, it's a rule! And Bella slaps one of the pack, and he gets so mad that the little girl slapped him that he goes wolf in front of her. NICE STICKING TO RULES THERE, BUB.
Man, this movie is long. So while the werewolves are chasing after some vampire, Bella jumps off a cliff and into the ocean. Edward somehow appears to her while she's unconscious, and then Jacob saves her. DRAMA! Which man will she choose!
God. This is so bad. So Edward thinks Bella killed herself, so he's going to kill himself. He calls her house but won't talk to her, god this couldn't be more stupid and melodramatic. It's not even funny-bad like the last movie. There's still 40 minutes left! Arg!
Oh well what the fuck. Edward was going to use some strong vampires to suicide, but they say he's too special to kill! I suppose vampires who sparkle in the sunlight are a rare, special thing.
Oh look, it ended, yay. I can sort of see why little pre-teen girls might like it, but anyone older than that? GAH. It was just so bad! Melodramatic! Lacking in any subtlety at all!
I hate to get into this element of it, because it's approaching the fandom way way too closely, but I cannot see why anyone would want Bella to pick Edward over Jacob. Edward is a moody, angsty, stalker... gah. He's just someone no one should even want to ever know, not to mention he wants to EAT her! Jacob is stable (other than the whole werewolf thing), normal, protective in a reasonable way, just normal guy -- supposedly a teenager, but older than his years.
Next week's movie will be something MUCH better than this!
Here, have a random image to get the taste of that out of your mouth.
Oh! And my research of the type of plastic the bin/litterbox is made of leads me to believe it was the safest kind to burn. The most official sites I could find (Dow, etc) said at worst the smoke would irritate.
I was more interested in seeing this one than the first one, because I really like werewolves. As of 30 minutes in, this might as well not have any werewolves in it.
For those who don't know, the plot seems to be: It's Bella's birthday! And the vampire family decides to throw her a party! But because her gift is wrapped with special vampire wrapping paper, when she gets a paper cut from it, she bleeds. Drop after drop hits the floor! In the middle of the vampire family! Oh nos! Will Bella be eaten? Will she survive?!
Of course. But this sets up something about blah blah, Bella's not good for Edward or some such thing so blah blah, his family has to leave town (vampires don't age, so they need to move on a regular basis anyway, but this "explains" why she can't go with them).
Bella sleeps in the woods (causing her cop father to panic), Bella spends nights screaming into her pillow, Bella angsts all over the screen. zzzz Then, suddenly, Edward starts appearing to her in visions! Through this we learn that vampires do not understand the concept of positive reinforcement: He only appears to her when she does something dangerous, so she starts doing dangerous things so she can see him! Going off with strange men, riding a motorcycle, etc.
... Okay. So the werewolves aren't supposed to tell anyone about werewolves existing, it's a rule! And Bella slaps one of the pack, and he gets so mad that the little girl slapped him that he goes wolf in front of her. NICE STICKING TO RULES THERE, BUB.
Man, this movie is long. So while the werewolves are chasing after some vampire, Bella jumps off a cliff and into the ocean. Edward somehow appears to her while she's unconscious, and then Jacob saves her. DRAMA! Which man will she choose!
God. This is so bad. So Edward thinks Bella killed herself, so he's going to kill himself. He calls her house but won't talk to her, god this couldn't be more stupid and melodramatic. It's not even funny-bad like the last movie. There's still 40 minutes left! Arg!
Oh well what the fuck. Edward was going to use some strong vampires to suicide, but they say he's too special to kill! I suppose vampires who sparkle in the sunlight are a rare, special thing.
Oh look, it ended, yay. I can sort of see why little pre-teen girls might like it, but anyone older than that? GAH. It was just so bad! Melodramatic! Lacking in any subtlety at all!
I hate to get into this element of it, because it's approaching the fandom way way too closely, but I cannot see why anyone would want Bella to pick Edward over Jacob. Edward is a moody, angsty, stalker... gah. He's just someone no one should even want to ever know, not to mention he wants to EAT her! Jacob is stable (other than the whole werewolf thing), normal, protective in a reasonable way, just normal guy -- supposedly a teenager, but older than his years.
Next week's movie will be something MUCH better than this!
Here, have a random image to get the taste of that out of your mouth.
Oh! And my research of the type of plastic the bin/litterbox is made of leads me to believe it was the safest kind to burn. The most official sites I could find (Dow, etc) said at worst the smoke would irritate.
